Need help explaining guns to girlfriend

[Wordupmybrotha]

Well, she doesn't want to take that class. She said it boils down to "why do you feel the need to carry a gun" with the implication that there is no legitimate reason or need. She does understand my brother doing so because he's a LEO, but not me. When we talked about this, she said that she talked to my brother and his wife about this stuff. According to her, my brother was calm and sensible, but told her that several of her objections were BS. I haven't asked my brother yet about his opinions. Since I often communicate best in writing, she agreed to accept an essay from me explaining why I carry a gun.

Some further complications. She's talked about marriage and the way she wants to do home life is a multi-family household in which her parents have their own apartment out back or two master bedrooms. She said they wouldn't want to have firearms in the house at all. I get along well enough with her parents, but this has the potential to cause a lot of trouble.

At this point I'm thinking of writing that essay, adding some see-also points to view on the web, and concluding it with "This is me. My ownership, use, and wearing of firearms is not negotiable. You can either accept that or we're done". I'm already refreshing my online dating website accounts.

Are there any single women in the northwest corner of the state of Washington reading this message?

Sorry to hear that OP. I had a feeling she wasn't going to take that class. Wanting to live in a multi-family household...she sounds Asian. Well, that doesn't matter.

Sounds to me like the essay is going to be a dear Jane letter.

[patriot_man]

OP don't even bother with the essay.

Just leaving her will suffice.

[faris1984]

What ,Her parents live with you?
Man tell her since you want your parents to live with us i'm inviting my parents as well and tell her everyone lives under this roof have to go by my rules.
Man I feel sorry for you but it is the best time to unleash her.
You guys live in the land of the freedom and you can easily find a woman , what to say about middle east when you can have a girlfriend by secret only and maybe in one or two countries not in secret.

[GunpowderAndLead]

I can't say I'm surprised [emoji57]
I do agree with not bothering with the essay (unless you feel it's a sign of closure). She's not going to budge. If her family isn't pro gun either, well...seeing as she wants them so close, you'll be in a lose-lose situation for the rest of your life. what they say goes and let's be honest, no one wants to hand over their opinions and lifestyles for the spouse and in-laws to control (believe me...I already lived it with my ex husband and ex in laws).

Just start refreshing those dating sites buddy...and under "ideal first date" write 'Trip to my favorite gun range'. That should narrow it down for ya.


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[faris1984]

If doesn't want guns around family she will wan't more thing in the future that family don't like or afraid of.
You can decide what to do or not , Its your life.

[Frotz]

I can't say I'm surprised [emoji57]
I do agree with not bothering with the essay (unless you feel it's a sign of closure). She's not going to budge. If her family isn't pro gun either, well...seeing as she wants them so close, you'll be in a lose-lose situation for the rest of your life. what they say goes and let's be honest, no one wants to hand over their opinions and lifestyles for the spouse and in-laws to control (believe me...I already lived it with my ex husband and ex in laws).

Just start refreshing those dating sites buddy...and under "ideal first date" write 'Trip to my favorite gun range'. That should narrow it down for ya.

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"Trip to my favorite gun range" sounds nice, but personally, I prefer a chat at a coffee/tea shop. I'm altering my profiles to state that shooting is one of my hobbies. On one is "I legally own firearms and have a permit to carry one when I'm out and about. If you don't like firearms, we probably won't work out.".

[faris1984]

I think you did what you suppose to do,It's your life and she can't tell you what to do and what to not.

[ExtremeX]

"Trip to my favorite gun range" sounds nice, but personally, I prefer a chat at a coffee/tea shop. I'm altering my profiles to state that shooting is one of my hobbies. On one is "I legally own firearms and have a permit to carry one when I'm out and about. If you don't like firearms, we probably won't work out.".

I’m not all for publicly announcing stuff like that on a dating website, but it would make for good conversation on a first date when talking about hobbies and interests. Bring it up, and see where it goes. You are either going to find girls who are into it, don’t know about guns but are open minded, or dislike guns and closed minded…

I didn’t read though the entire thread… but I think I got the jest of it.

About your existing deal… Based on what I did read I can see this dragging on for the rest of your life, and possible ending badly. Its like reloading for rifle with pistol powder on the bench; it’s just a matter of time till you see that kaboom. If you aren’t invested in this relationship I would seriously consider just moving on…

If guns are a big part of your life, you should not have to justify it to someone who loves YOU. And someone who loves you wouldn't force you to make a compromise either.

Either way, your life, don’t know your situation or hers, make informed decisions which would be best for you.

[Garv]

Run.
Fast.
Faster!

Her rules and her family will outnumber you and beat you down until you are miserable.
She is not going to change and you should not.
Eff the letter crap except to say sorry things did not work out, goodbye.
Glad to hear you are mostly taking good advice, now take the rest.

Good luck.

[GunpowderAndLead]

"Trip to my favorite gun range" sounds nice, but personally, I prefer a chat at a coffee/tea shop. I'm altering my profiles to state that shooting is one of my hobbies. On one is "I legally own firearms and have a permit to carry one when I'm out and about. If you don't like firearms, we probably won't work out.".

The reason that I suggested "trip to my favorite gun range" is that it easily puts it out there without being to forward. You can totally get a coffee after and discuss things further. I do agree with the other poster that adding more to it is getting pretty personal for a dating site. Leave a little mystery for the actually dates. Oh, and break up with your chick first before you go launching these profiles live...don't be THAT guy.


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[GunpowderAndLead]

Again, these are merely suggestions from people that don't know you...
But sometimes a woman's point of you can be helpful...sometimes. I can't relate to your chick at all sooooo if you were wanting to work things out ... that I can't help you with.


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[JazzyJames]

Dump her.

[BisDak]

I'm already refreshing my online dating website accounts.

Are there any single women in the northwest corner of the state of Washington reading this message?

Restructure your online dating account to say "must love guns"...


.

[sl0re10]

Uhhhmmmmm... ya ... NO...!

Giving her detailed answers to her ridiculous detailed questions will only give her more anti ammunition for grilling you even more. You will NEVER win ... even if you are correct in all your explanations, you (in her mind) are WRONG...!

Say this and MEAN IT; "It's my LTC, my gun, my Rights ... I carry, that's the way it was before you came along, that's the way it is now, and that's the way it will be if you should flutter and go away from here ... and that's that ...!!! - Now, (you say to her) I have spoken ... this the way it is and the conversation is now closed."

Next subject.

truth to this. She'll just wait for shreds of evidence to roll in that back up her positions and store those (only). Eventually you'll not only be wrong; you will be a bad person.

run

[Wordupmybrotha]

On one is "I legally own firearms and have a permit to carry one when I'm out and about. If you don't like firearms, we probably won't work out.".

When I read that, I picture this: