Need help explaining guns to girlfriend

[Ojallday]

Find a new girl friend lol one that is pro gun before you guys get into a argument then she uses your guns against you. Telling cops she's scared when you probably won't give a **** cause you moved on anyways lol.

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[Bigedski]

You simply need to tell her that guns are a part of your life and you enjoy shooting and collecting and that will not change, then ask her If it is a deal breaker if it is you need to throw her to the curb.
If you don't and you change your self to fit her insecurities you will come to resent her and dump her anyway.

[MJB]

OP, can we get an up date on you and miss uptight?

Still getten some? That's the tell all.......

[newair]

Very simple, this is my weapon, this is my gun, one is for killing and one is for fun.

[Irv]

That is the things that should be address on the first date and that is that your are a firearm enthusiast, or at least the second date. It's either going to be your hobby or a together hobby.
Or find out if she's had a felony and can't be with you anyway......

[AreWeFree]

Tell her, you either get it, or you GET IT... get it?

jk don't do that.

[Doctor Suarez]

I'll weigh in a bit because I was an anti for the first 25 or so years of my life. (Funny how we all pick up about 20 IQ points around 25, innit?)

I would say to her that her stance on the issue is understandable, and that you totally get why she would feel that way and that you respect her position. I would even go so far as to say that an intelligent person, if presented with the standard cultural narrative on guns, would be likely to wind up with her set of beliefs.

Then, I would say that she has been given a rather incomplete and slanted story from our society, and that none of that is her fault.

For example, when she says that you're much more likely to hurt her or yourself with your gun, she is almost certainly referring, consciously or sub-consciously, to that insane Kellerman "study" that created the 43:1 ratio that gets quoted all the time. (It was even quoted on The Simpsons.) That is an easy to disprove myth. That figure came not from national averages, but from one junk-science study in Seattle that was totally scientifically invalid. I won't go into detail here but you can research it for yourself using the keyword "Kellerman" and "43 times more likely". It's been thoroughly, totally debunked.

I would tell her that people protect themselves successfully with guns all the time, and that those mass shootings that are all the rage have, many times, been stopped by guys just like you.

My worry, however, is that she's projecting some more innate attitudes of hers onto you. When she says that you'd never be able to take someone's life, and that the bad guy will take the gun away from you, she's not talking about tactical retention training. She's talking about those scenes in movies where the weak-willed little woman can't bring herself to shoot the bad guy, who calmly takes the gun out of her trembling little fingers. She sees herself this way, and she's projecting that onto you.

This is why a range trip is a good idea. If she can have a positive experience there, she'll feel more powerful and familiar with it, and will stop seeing shooting a gun as a magic power that only cops and robbers have.

However, given your beliefs and her starting place, don't kick yourself too hard if this one doesn't go your way. You are who you are and if she can't accept that, it's her loss.

[Kappy]

I have two major points I make in such situations:
1. I'm not looking to get into a gunfight anymore that you carrying a spare tire means you're cruising around looking to get a flat.
2. If I was walking around and saw you being attacked by rapists or murderers, would you want me to keep walking or pull my gun?

I made the same arguments to my wife years back. She had to get used to it. About a year ago, we were in South Sac and I said, "Crap! I forgot my gun!" She looked genuinely worried. Then I told her I was just joking, but was surprised at her reaction, considering that she made me disarm before attending one of her church's picnics.

Now... I should add that I also shoot every weekend. Being able to claim that you shoot more rounds in a month than many (most?) police officers do in a year or two does help in your defense.

[GunpowderAndLead]

Updates OP?


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[bsg]

things are bound to get worse, so why worry?

[GunpowderAndLead]

Curiosity. Just wondering if he finally agreed with us in the peanut gallery or not [emoji6]


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[Czechsix]

Curiosity. Just wondering if he finally agreed with us in the peanut gallery or not [emoji6]


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He's probably out in his backyard trying to find that gravesite he kept hearing about.

[Frotz]

Well, she doesn't want to take that class. She said it boils down to "why do you feel the need to carry a gun" with the implication that there is no legitimate reason or need. She does understand my brother doing so because he's a LEO, but not me. When we talked about this, she said that she talked to my brother and his wife about this stuff. According to her, my brother was calm and sensible, but told her that several of her objections were BS. I haven't asked my brother yet about his opinions. Since I often communicate best in writing, she agreed to accept an essay from me explaining why I carry a gun.

Some further complications. She's talked about marriage and the way she wants to do home life is a multi-family household in which her parents have their own apartment out back or two master bedrooms. She said they wouldn't want to have firearms in the house at all. I get along well enough with her parents, but this has the potential to cause a lot of trouble.

At this point I'm thinking of writing that essay, adding some see-also points to view on the web, and concluding it with "This is me. My ownership, use, and wearing of firearms is not negotiable. You can either accept that or we're done". I'm already refreshing my online dating website accounts.

Are there any single women in the northwest corner of the state of Washington reading this message?

[RustyIron]

Darn. I was really hoping that all of us Shade Tree Relationship Counselors from Calguns would be able to help you two find an equitable solution.

[faris1984]

Thanks god my wife and all family don't care because we used to live in Iraq and guns are OK for everyone.I went for many wedding parties and shot my fully auto ak47 but I don't shoot it in the air I shoot the sand away from people.In Iraq not in USA.....