Need help explaining guns to girlfriend

[sl0re10]

Yup I agree with this.

In the past when I came across a woman who were uneasy once they found out I collect different firearms I just listened to their reasoning. Most of the time it is because they were never around them but indoctrinated by television or someone they knew as bad. I took them ALL shooting with me and man they smile they had afterwords is priceless.

fair; but it should be considering that this list of questions is really out there Brady-esq spin and really extreme left wing PC notions (like about 'who are you to decide about life and death'... even if you're being attacked...). In my experience; only really far out there ideologues use these out of touch arguments.

With that baggage usually comes a lot of other ideological baggage. About family and marriage (sorta slavery-esq), you're probably a racist for your opinions, and the general lib entitlement mentality means it's ok to cheat or break up if they're bored. Plus they're probably bored a lot; which is why they like the nonstop trauma drama that is leftist politics (smash this, fight that, save the x, blaw blaw blaw). Even if they stay; no fun to being married to someone who doesn't appreciate things you do / is bored all the time.

[sl0re10]

What I suggested is a way to fix it. She's trying to control him because she's scared and/or uncomfortable. The dumbest possible thing the OP could do is make her feel invalidated....at least if he is interested in a long-term relationship with her.

Could be.... or she could be a controller by nature and OP is an analytical or gregarious pleaser type so he's not seeing it clearly... re: since he doesn't have the traits he doesn't 'get' them.

[sl0re10]

I couldn't resist.


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Its true. Henry is stronger than me. Thanks to my guns he and his ilk cannot use force against me.

[tjackson9810]

I say keep carrying a firearm. Regardless if she gets mad, you will be safe and that's all that matters. If you get mugged or worse one day and you chose not to carry a firearm because she told you to get rid of it, you may be sorry. We all know the saying "its better to be safe than sorry".

[paratroop]

I have a couple of stories, they are rather long , but ill try to keep them short with just the important details.

I had a friend for a long time that was raised by a hippy. He leaned heavily left, but didnt really make a stand on anything. I took him shooting, he loved it. He bought his own gun. He always wanted to try different guns of mine. ARs were his favorite. He started talking about how important the 2nd amendment was, blah blah blah. We had a falling out. A couple of months later hes at my neighbors house talking crap about guns, and gunowners. Saying the founding fathers were talking about muskets, etc.

You can change someones mind if they are on the fence, but true antis are a lost cause. It took this guy a couple of months to resort back to talking like a brady campaigner.

The next is dealing with women. I had a girlfriend that would make fun of me for having a gun on the nivhtstand. Except everytime there was a bump in the night, she would wake up, and tell me to get my gun. My mother and sisters would ask why i needed a gun, but everytime a scumbag is getting uppity around the house, or around town, they always whisper, "do you have your gun?"
Sitting at a friends house and the tweakers across the street started acted funny, she says i hope you have your gun.

I think some people want to be "righteous" and be anti gun, anti violence, anti whatecer the media tells them. But when they get scared, they want to make sure someone is there to protect them.

To me, it sounds like your girl is a hardcore anti. She will probably never agree with guns, and it will be a topic which will cause much strife. However she will get scared one day, and hope you are packing. Talk to her like your girlfriend, and not ramble off facts to her like a professor.

I am "all in" when it comes to guns, so i would have no choice but to start looking for another woman.

[Sierra57]

She's telling you how she feels about something she feels strongly about.

You're responding with information and facts, as if you're in a debate.

Probably information, facts and arguments will not easily change how she feels.

This isn't going to work.

You've got to talk to her, learn about her. Shut up and just listen. Figure out just how she feels and why.

Why does she feel so strongly about guns? Has she ever been around guns before? Ever been shooting? What sources of information about guns does she trust?

Will she go shooting with you? Or with someone else if not you?

You need to do lots of listening. Lots of learning about her.

^^^^This.

In all likelyhood, everything she thinks she knows about firearms has been filtered through various anti gun media outlets.

I'd say that she has been led to believe that gun violence is up, when it is down quite substantially from a high water mark in the early 90's. She has probably also been led to believe that anyone who owns a gun is some kind of psychopath.

It also depends on her family and network of friends. If she is talking to them about the fact that you own guns, some of them may fill her ears full of more BS, hard facts be damned.

You might point out to her that over the last few years, the fastest growing demographic of first time gun owners is women.

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/women-fastest-growing-group-us-gun-owners-18663332

In the end, this may be the wedge that drives you two apart, but if she is too close minded to listen to reason and facts, it is probably for the best.

[Rogue187]

Time to find yourself another girlfriend..
This one sounds like a complete lost cause.
She is of the anti gunners mentality..You'll lose each and every time..
Till something terrible happens to her..

Move one..there are better and brighter fish in the sea.

[GunpowderAndLead]

^^^Yup! [emoji137]🏼 woman. Gun owner in the near future.



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[Euphoria526]

Yup. Not worth the headache.
Crap if I even think I'm going to start dating a chick I'll bring it up on the first or second date

[dadoody]

1. What gives you the right to decide who dies?
   
2. Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?
   
3. Do we really have that much crime that you need to carry a weapon? I'm fine without one.
   
4. I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.
   
5. Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?
   
6. You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.
   
7. I think only the police and military should have guns.
   
8. Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?
   
9. Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.
   

What gives you the right to decide who dies?
No one gives you that right, but you do have a right for when someone wishes that of you, that you can protect yourself and your loved ones.


Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?
Only you can answer that one.


Do we really have that much crime that you need to carry a weapon? I'm fine without one.
What she say the same thing about a fire extinguisher? A seat belt? When I don't need a police officer 99.9% of the time, so why do we need police?


I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.
Then she has no confidence in your skills? Not that I would either. I don't even know you.


Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?
So why own anything? Plus, isn't that just another jab at you?


You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.
Did Zoltar the fortune telling machine tell her this?


I think only the police and military should have guns.
So did Pol Pot and Stalin


Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?
She may not know this, but criminals can look like anything/anyone

Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.
That's not really a question, that's a command. That's up to you if you want your balls clipped. If you're fine with going out with someone who wants you to change specially for them, then that's your deal. I know guys who've done this and cow towed to the misses so they can get some poon, but, more often than not, she starts cheating on him with someone who has the balls to put her in her place and make his own life decisions.

[RustyIron]

All her questions are valid.


What gives you the right to decide who dies?
Natural Law, the philosophical basis for Western law, Sharia law, the Greek laws. You and she should spend 10 minutes Googling it together.

Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?
It's simple yes/no question not to be taken lightly. Only you can answer this.

I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.
Guns don't accidentally go off. Stupid people doing stupid things accidentally fire guns. Tell her you're not stupid.

Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?
Can you retain your weapon if a bad guy tries to take it away from you? Most people would not be prepared to defend against an aggressor who is trained in disarming opponents. Luckily, most bad guys are not so trained, but it's something we should all consider.

You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.
Have you been paying attention to the Johnny Rambo wannabes prancing around in front of the Marine Recruitment offices? Some yahoo negligently fired his rifle the other day. Luckily no one was hurt. The Pentagon responded by asking everyone to go home before someone gets killed. Incidentally, the shooter fired his weapon negligently a few years go. He's a moron. Tell her you're not a moron.

I think only the police and military should have guns.
The Supreme Court has ruled that the police are not obligated to protect you. Sit down with her and google "Warren vs. District of Columbia." It's not a pretty story. Read it twice to make it sink in. I'm sure you can find plenty of equally ugly stories to support the argument that the police can't protect us.

Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?
You can judge a man by the company he keeps. If you hang out with d-bags, then she should dump you. But the question isn't relevant to d-bags who are targeting nice people.

Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.
That sounds like an ultimatum. Your situation is certainly different than my own, but for me, I would explain that it's a big part about who I am and what I do. Tel her that for her, you'll stop carrying when you're on dates close to home, and explain that your feelings on this might change. Then I would invite her on a shooting outing, and make SURE it's fun for her. Once she gets a little exposure, she might learn that guns are fun and not at all scary.

[PyroFox79]

I'd have shown her the door. Simple as that.

[toby]

Just keep her away from the baby diapers and you'll be fine, well maybe not.

[Pally]

My girlfriend has a general dislike of firearms. When I revealed to her that I regularly carry one concealed, even when I go out with her, she was severely pissed off -- possibly to the point of breaking up with me. I need an article of some sort to cleanly, quickly, and non-judgmentally explain why she's wrong and should support my decision to carry a weapon. I could write one myself, but I feel it's in my best interests to show her something from someone else.

In no particular order, these are some of her objections to my going about armed:

1. What gives you the right to decide who dies?
   
2. Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?
   
3. Do we really have that much crime that you need to carry a weapon? I'm fine without one.
   
4. I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.
   
5. Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?
   
6. You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.
   
7. I think only the police and military should have guns.
   
8. Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?
   
9. Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.
   

I don't know how she feels about long guns or ones with scary black features. She didn't say she was afraid of me shooting her, but I got that distinct vibe. She did volunteer that she likes quarterstaves, bos, and other cudgels. She liked my blackthorn cane I brought to one date because I hurt my ankle earlier and the restaurant was in a questionable area. I did threaten to use it against a charging dog that broke off its attack.

If you have peanut-gallery suggestions like "dump her" and the like, don't bother responding. I need some simple hard facts and figures easily proven and easily digestible.

I'm especially puzzled at how to proceed because during a double date with her, my brother and his wife, she was quite positively involved in the conversation on when and where my brother and I should go target shooting.

I read your original post a few days ago and while I felt compelled to respond, I was at a loss with what to say to you (didn't have the facts on hand, not sure it would have helped). What a predicament!

However, "authoritative" facts and figures aside, as a woman, I do feel much safer knowing that a competent, trained person carrying a weapon for self-defense would be by my side. I also feel safer owning, shooting and training with firearms. That is a fact.

Not to be disrespectful, however your GF has questions/statements that seem to be only valid in an academic setting, not in the real world. Does she really know you very well, or trust you? Does she know anything about guns? Or, perhaps her aversion is based in hoplophobia or "fear of firearms". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoplophobia

My girlfriends and I were fortunate and had supportive male gun-owner friends who took us out to the range multiple times and patiently introduced us to all types of weapons. Small and large caliber, handguns and long guns. (we all came out of that loving those "scary" AR 15's!) That is a fact.

We also spent a great deal of time visiting multiple gun stores, watching youtube videos and going to manufacturer websites researching firearms. In addition, we spent hours and hours taking apart guns, cleaning them and putting them back together! It literally broke down our fear of guns, increased our knowledge base and we had lots of fun doing it! That is a fact.

I'm not necessarily saying that a woman has to have a man introduce her to guns or protect her with his guns. I'm just saying that I was lucky to have such good guy friends that weren't afraid to go out shootin' with the girls! That is a fact.

Perhaps your GF should realize how lucky she is to have a BF in today's world who is NOT afraid of firearms and who knows how to use them and is NOT afraid to defend her life! This is probably a fact.

Bottom line: I hope she comes to understand how important guns and gun rights are to you and that she overcomes her aversion to guns. There are so many gun groups for women throughout CA, they are readily available and are frequently mentioned here on CG. And, don't forget the Ladies Forum right here on CG!

[ZirconJohn]

Uhhhmmmmm... ya ... NO...!

Giving her detailed answers to her ridiculous detailed questions will only give her more anti ammunition for grilling you even more. You will NEVER win ... even if you are correct in all your explanations, you (in her mind) are WRONG...!

Say this and MEAN IT; "It's my LTC, my gun, my Rights ... I carry, that's the way it was before you came along, that's the way it is now, and that's the way it will be if you should flutter and go away from here ... and that's that ...!!! - Now, (you say to her) I have spoken ... this the way it is and the conversation is now closed."

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