Need help explaining guns to girlfriend

[Frotz]

My girlfriend has a general dislike of firearms. When I revealed to her that I regularly carry one concealed, even when I go out with her, she was severely pissed off -- possibly to the point of breaking up with me. I need an article of some sort to cleanly, quickly, and non-judgmentally explain why she's wrong and should support my decision to carry a weapon. I could write one myself, but I feel it's in my best interests to show her something from someone else.

In no particular order, these are some of her objections to my going about armed:

1. What gives you the right to decide who dies?
   
2. Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?
   
3. Do we really have that much crime that you need to carry a weapon? I'm fine without one.
   
4. I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.
   
5. Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?
   
6. You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.
   
7. I think only the police and military should have guns.
   
8. Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?
   
9. Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.
   

I don't know how she feels about long guns or ones with scary black features. She didn't say she was afraid of me shooting her, but I got that distinct vibe. She did volunteer that she likes quarterstaves, bos, and other cudgels. She liked my blackthorn cane I brought to one date because I hurt my ankle earlier and the restaurant was in a questionable area. I did threaten to use it against a charging dog that broke off its attack.

If you have peanut-gallery suggestions like "dump her" and the like, don't bother responding. I need some simple hard facts and figures easily proven and easily digestible.

I'm especially puzzled at how to proceed because during a double date with her, my brother and his wife, she was quite positively involved in the conversation on when and where my brother and I should go target shooting.

[Scratch705]

I am assuming u have ccw license? That can cover a few of the objections

[lorax3]

Maybe she is a hardcore anti and will never change or maybe she is not. Either way, people are scared of the unknown.

Take her to the range. No pressure. It's not about being a good shot, it is just about being comfortable around firearms and understanding that humans can be safe with them.

If you are serious about this relationship take an NRA Basic Pistol Class together.

If she is scared of guns and doesn't know how they work then writing her an essay about why guns are good is not going to end in anything but another argument.

[DallasGreen]

What gives you the right to decide who dies?

You don't. You just don't feel like dying at the hands of a maniac. You're a good person. It's Gods will.

Can you really handle potentially taking someone's life?

That's on you big boy. Muscle memory sure helps.

Do we really have that much crime that you need to carry a weapon? I'm fine without one.

Victims are often not victims until they are victimized. Murder victims are only victimized once. Don't wear your seatbelt, you probably won't crash. Same thing.


I'm afraid of a gun accidentally going off.

I'm afraid I'll cut my finger with my learning knife, but I learned how to use it, so I no longer fear it.


Don't you know that a criminal will just take it away?

From what? Your house? Get a safe or tuck it away.
Your hand? Practice situational. Anyone can take your car from you and it's much more likely.

You're more likely to hurt yourself or me with that thing.

Back to training. Everyone has to train. Smarten up. Ignorance is the enemy.

I think only the police and military should have guns.

That's what Hitler said.

Do you really go around criminals who'd want to hurt you?

Happens daily in every state in every part of the globe. It's the part of life we like to ignore because it has cooties.

Don't ever carry one when you go out with me.

Dump her. She'll get you killed

[tradecraft]

You don't know what you're looking for. Hard facts won't answer the majority of those questions anyway.

You have taken her shooting, right?

Also, tagged out of amazement that she gave you another date after you used your attack cane to ward off a dog....lol.

[Garand1911]

Next time your out with her and something potentially violent happens that makes her scared, just say "I wish I had my gun with me". Then she will be like "why don't you?"
Tell her its your job to protect her the best way you know how ... packing heat.


She MIGHT come around, but it will take time, months or years. Make sure she worth the investment, she might never come around.

She just needs to get comfortable around guns. She still sees them as something violent, that she should fear. Don't push her too hard, cuz it sounds like she will push back.
Show her the news stories in the NRAs Armed Citizen page.

My bros wife didn't like guns, but liked archery, he asked her the difference, she couldn't come up with one. She now shoots once in a while, even goes to comps and shows too.

If you can get her to a range and shoot a 22lr pistol then she might soften up. If she goes to ranges on fri/sat night she might see a lot of other women there having a good time.

[SLO1911Fan]

How much if any experience has she had with firearms?

I have friends involved with several organizations that exist specifically to teach women shooting skills.

Some of the events are free due to grants from the NRA, other events are multi day courses which cost $300.

If you're around Huntington Beach there are several instructors who teach in home safety classes that might get her more comfortable with the idea.

https://www.facebook.com/GunsAndLadies

http://babeswithbullets.com/index.html

[North Bay Guy]

Only date girls you know are gun friendly or next time don't tell. Concealed means concealed.

[patriot_man]

Only date girls you know are gun friendly or next time don't tell. Concealed means concealed.

Agreed.

Only way I can see you salvaging this if she has an open mind and is willing to go to the range to experience it. Even then you may be **** out of luck.

[MrBlond]

Have a friend pretend to be a mugger.

[Sleighter]

Ok, I hate to say this and be "that guy" but she has a point. At least on some of her concerns. But they're not aimed at you, they're based on her insecurities. So nothing factual you present will change that.

It is entirely possible that she simply may not be capable of pulling the trigger on someone (concerns #1&2). If she can't actually use a firearm in self defense, then she's right about #5.

Her lack of training and firearm knowledge contributes to #4, #6, #7, and #9.

Ultimately #3, #8 are probably true for the vast majority of us. CCW statistics show that very few of us will ever have to actually use our CCW. That's because most violent crime isn't random, and if you're the kind of person habitually involved in violent crime you're the kind of person that can't get a CCW.

So she has valid points. Some of them can be overcome by her gaining familiarity and confidence around firearms, some of them may be situationally true for her. Everyone should have the right to decide if using a firearm for self-defense is right for them. We shouldn't be so fast to make enemies and call people anti that make different choices from us. We can respect their decisions and ask for the same in return even though we decide differently.

[Sleighter]

Only date girls you know are gun friendly or next time don't tell. Concealed means concealed.

"Concealed means concealed?" I'm getting so sick and tired of hearing this anytime someone has a question about CCW. That isn't always the answer. This guy is talking about his girlfriend. If I had a girlfriend and after a date she wasn't aware of the fact I was wearing a gun, then obviously the date didn't go well and she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore. It's a piece of steel on your waist. If your girlfriend doesn't feel it at some time during a date, then you're doing something wrong.

[stix213]

You're making a mistake trying to change her mind with logic when her dislike of firearms is obviously emotional. You'd have better luck finding some videos of thugs getting the drop on unarmed victims, then some thugs getting the tables turned by the prepared.

[DallasGreen]

Have a friend pretend to be a mugger.

A la Nacho Libre

[Frotz]

"Concealed means concealed?" I'm getting so sick and tired of hearing this anytime someone has a question about CCW. That isn't always the answer. This guy is talking about his girlfriend. If I had a girlfriend and after a date she wasn't aware of the fact I was wearing a gun, then obviously the date didn't go well and she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore. It's a piece of steel on your waist. If your girlfriend doesn't feel it at some time during a date, then you're doing something wrong.

When we go out, I carry an NAA mini-revolver. It drops into my pocket and she's never noticed it.