Possible Stalker Situation

[pachador]

My comments below are addressed to everyone in general that might be helped by my unsolicited advice and not necessarily to the original poster. my apologies in advance for any misunderstanding. I only mean well. nothing else.

Anyway, this is the one disadvantage with having a gorgeous or "trophy" gf or wife. Guys will always be coming out of the woodwork like bees to honey.

it would help if a gorgeous woman would wear conservative clothes, but from my experience while dating most of them is they like to flaunt their beauty either through revealing clothes or flirtatious behaviour, and for good reason. if you got it , flaunt it. Now, there is nothing wrong with that but then you as the boyfriend being her protector will be stressed protecting her or getting jealous/insecure if your the insecure type.

How did I handle situations like this? well, one time i was dating a gorgeous woman who I suspect was a stripper , but i never asked her coz she did not volunteer. She was more like as a friend to me because she made me leery and because i didnt like to deal with all the liability issue associated with 'gorgeous' women ( i know i'm stereotying, my apologies in advance) Anyway, at that time i was looking for someone to date seriously so i didnt really mind if she would start talking to other guys at the bar since i would also be talking to friends. Later, she asked me if she can move in with me as a roommate, and I told her No. Why? what if she started bringing guy friends to the apartment. I might start getting jealous even though we are just friends or what if we end up having a relationship, but then knowing how provocative she dresses, I will just have my hands full warding off all the wolf whistles and what not. it was just too much hassle.

to cut the long story short, I used my brains and married an average but rich woman. Everytime i get laid-off from work, she always tells me to stop working and just tend the house. you see, i got no pressure and stress about keeping a job . Although, because i have pride, i always get a job as early as i can again. I earn very decent pay, but she earns more than me, plus both of us are cheapskates . she is not high maintenance, but thats another story.

The other thing to to consider is that gorgeous women who have no job skills have really no choice but to always keep their physical assets on razor sharp edge to attract the most 'stable' or rich guys out there, hence the need to display their assets. they need a stable guy so she can build her so-called nest and raise kids. Unfortunately, there are guys who are blindly attracted to these gorgeous women and these guys show off their riches(which may be real wealth or may just be based on credit card debt) in order to attract this gorgeous women. A blunt example are all those awesome gorgeous women married to those old but rich grandpas. its like a tradeoff of I give you my body in exchange for your money(stability) plus peace of mind with the gorgeous woman hidden behind the high walls of their rich guy's house safe from prying eyes.

...or you can go down the middle road, and find a beauty who has got job skills. Usually this type do not emphasize anymore their physical assets and be provocative because they have something else to show off which is their brains.

Again, I am generalizing and only mean well. I am sure there lots of gorgeous women out there who are decent , respectable and smart. My comments are only based on my personal experiences.

........or you can find someone whose got a high-paying job(sugar momma) so, to all the guys, hit the weights, and sharpen your social charm so you can snare all those sugar mommas out there . Go go go !! haha j/k

[Hoop]

married an average but rich woman.

LOL if your wife picks up your computer and sees this. Hope you like cleaning house, sleeping on the couch, and no sex for a month or so.

[Beelzy]

Let me start out with my wife is gorgeous. I've had to deal with aggressive men a few times, but in a period of three months things began to get of hand and we had several instances that frightened me. All three times my wife was chased/followed by strange men. 2 of the times I was with her the one time I wasn't is the reason for this post.

The other two times were pretty bad. We had two guys in a van circling the block taunting me and shouting things at my wife about how beautiful she was and asking if I was her boyfriend or husband. They circled the block we were on 3 times and the only reason they stopped is because we literally had to hide behind a shed.

shortly thereafter we were followed by a carload of young men, 5 of them who were all rolling down their windows and trying to get my wife's attention.

After this I bought a gun and learned how to use it.

About this time my wife was coming home from work and a guy who we DO NOT know, but associate with members of a club we belong to. He had actually been kicked out of the club and while allowed to attend club functions was not allowed by club policy to associate with members of the club. He ignored this rule and attempted to make contact with my wife several times, aside from club policy, my wife had no interest in talking to his man either way.

This guy saw her and began following her and my wife did not notice - as she was getting out of her car she saw the guy getting out of his car, parked in front of her house. taken a back - he tried to talk with her, she asked if he had been reinstated as a member of the club, he said that he was working on it but not yet a full member again. My wife made an excuse to leave and went in to the house.

About a year later we ran into him and it turns out he's dating a childhood friends sister that my brother keeps in contact with. we recognized him and I didn't mention the fact that he had followed my wife home in a very creepy way. He seemed agitated at my presence and would not make eye contact with me and refused to speak to me, instead staying off in the distance while his girlfriend spoke with my wife, brother and I.

I got a bad vibe but didn't think much of it. yesterday my wife was coming home from work and she saw his car in front of her. (we live in a small town) she tried to stay behind him, and as he changed lanes into the turn lane to do a u-turn she ended up right next to him at the stoplight. She continued straight ahead on the street after the light. She noticed he exited his u-turn and began following her, he attempted to pull up on her drivers side and she changed lanes into the far lane and turned quickly down the street we live on.

I'm concerned because:
1) he followed her home previously
2) he would not look me in the eye and seemed agitated with my presence when my wife was there
3) we do not know him at all and have never had a conversation with him or any interaction or familiarity with him that would justify following someone to their house in an attempt to have a conversation with him.

This may have been a coincidence but given that he has done it prior I cannot give him the benefit of the doubt.

My question is: How can I legally protect my wife?

I know open carry is very sketchy - but I feel that the if she were to open carry in her vehicle only she is less likely to threaten the public or cause worry to any LEOS unless pulled over. I believe this to be a good option because if he were to attempt to kidnap her it would most likely be on her way to or from work, either getting into or out of her vehicle. If she was aware of his presence, (we working on awareness) then I would feel better knowing she was armed.

I have considered a taser because it's legal to carry but for 400 bucks it kind of makes me just want to buy a glock. Are there any competitors to taser that offer a civilian product that is similar?

What are your thoughts on KIMBER's guardian angel?

I highly doubt that she would be approved for a ccw but is there any opinions on women vs men approval rates for ccw applications? What are the legal ramifications for non permitted ccw w/o the intent to commit a crime?

I know his first name and have contacted some people to find out more about him, including his last name - and I believe that it is reasonable that I could obtain his address:

should I file a complaint with the police department? I know that I could find him at the club meetings, We now attend a different chapter of the same club but I do have access to the one he attends. Should I try to contact him and be direct?

Has anyone else had issues with a stalker?

Tell your wife to wear clothes that don't show the goods......You know what
I mean.

[Steyrlp10]

The problem here is YOU, dude.

I am a director. My wife is an actress. I say this to give you context. Yes, she is good looking. She gets all the negative attention (Positive?) That your wife does plus more what with the signed headshot requests.

When I'm around and it happens, it bugs me. But I'm a presence. If I catch it happening, I'll call it immediately which will range anywhere from a dirty look to the perp or a full on "what are you looking at"?

Now I'm 6'-3", 230# and a second degree black belt, so if they want to throw down, I'm ready. But none of that really matters.

When you stand up for your wife's honor, guys wll back down. I'm wondering why guys are heckling your wife when you're RIGHT THERE. Pretty bold if you ask me.

Maybe instead of getting your wife a gun you should get yourself a presence by standing straight, shoulders back, chest out, looking them right in the eye and asking WTF their problem is.

Just a thought.

Great advice... my husband thinks just like you =o)

[Steyrlp10]

My comments below are addressed to everyone in general that might be helped by my unsolicited advice and not necessarily to the original poster. my apologies in advance for any misunderstanding. I only mean well. nothing else.

Anyway, this is the one disadvantage with having a gorgeous or "trophy" gf or wife. Guys will always be coming out of the woodwork like bees to honey.

it would help if a gorgeous woman would wear conservative clothes, but from my experience while dating most of them is they like to flaunt their beauty either through revealing clothes or flirtatious behaviour, and for good reason. if you got it , flaunt it. Now, there is nothing wrong with that but then you as the boyfriend being her protector will be stressed protecting her or getting jealous/insecure if your the insecure type.

How did I handle situations like this? well, one time i was dating a gorgeous woman who I suspect was a stripper , but i never asked her coz she did not volunteer. She was more like as a friend to me because she made me leery and because i didnt like to deal with all the liability issue associated with 'gorgeous' women ( i know i'm stereotying, my apologies in advance) Anyway, at that time i was looking for someone to date seriously so i didnt really mind if she would start talking to other guys at the bar since i would also be talking to friends. Later, she asked me if she can move in with me as a roommate, and I told her No. Why? what if she started bringing guy friends to the apartment. I might start getting jealous even though we are just friends or what if we end up having a relationship, but then knowing how provocative she dresses, I will just have my hands full warding off all the wolf whistles and what not. it was just too much hassle.

to cut the long story short, I used my brains and married an average but rich woman. Everytime i get laid-off from work, she always tells me to stop working and just tend the house. you see, i got no pressure and stress about keeping a job . Although, because i have pride, i always get a job as early as i can again. I earn very decent pay, but she earns more than me, plus both of us are cheapskates . she is not high maintenance, but thats another story.

The other thing to to consider is that gorgeous women who have no job skills have really no choice but to always keep their physical assets on razor sharp edge to attract the most 'stable' or rich guys out there, hence the need to display their assets. they need a stable guy so she can build her so-called nest and raise kids. Unfortunately, there are guys who are blindly attracted to these gorgeous women and these guys show off their riches(which may be real wealth or may just be based on credit card debt) in order to attract this gorgeous women. A blunt example are all those awesome gorgeous women married to those old but rich grandpas. its like a tradeoff of I give you my body in exchange for your money(stability) plus peace of mind with the gorgeous woman hidden behind the high walls of their rich guy's house safe from prying eyes.

...or you can go down the middle road, and find a beauty who has got job skills. Usually this type do not emphasize anymore their physical assets and be provocative because they have something else to show off which is their brains.

Again, I am generalizing and only mean well. I am sure there lots of gorgeous women out there who are decent , respectable and smart. My comments are only based on my personal experiences.

........or you can find someone whose got a high-paying job(sugar momma) so, to all the guys, hit the weights, and sharpen your social charm so you can snare all those sugar mommas out there . Go go go !! haha j/k

Much thanks from a woman who can not only shoot, but type 80 wpm - lol - oh, and there are some of us still out in the world who make more money than our husbands so we can keep them deep in tackle and new boats!

[xibunkrlilkidsx]

[EdCo]

Invite him over for dinner and then shoot him in the face.

[gn3hz3ku1*]

file reports with the cops.. this will give you some support to try to get a CCW.. prob easier for you since you are in a small town..

i would go have a conversation with the guy and tell him to back off..

[paintballergb]

Wow a lot of you guys are jerks. If you think this guy is full of it then why even post? If this were fiction the best thing to do would be to ignore the post and not feed into it by saying dumb*ss things. Get the cops involved. I would definitely, legally, keep a gun in my vehicles and avoid potentially dangerous situations. But definitely get it on police record that way if you have to something about this guy then you have some evidence to back up your claim of self defense.

[johnthomas]

Wow a lot of you guys are jerks. If you think this guy is full of it then why even post? If this were fiction the best thing to do would be to ignore the post and not feed into it by saying dumbass things. Get the cops involved. I would definitely, legally, keep a gun in my vehicles and avoid potentially dangerous situations. But definitely get it on police record that way if you have to something about this guy then you have some evidence to back up your claim of self defense.

Getting the PD involved was my advice early on in the thread. You are right about jerks. I would hope that someone would hit me up if I start acting like some of these guy's.

[Steve G]

Sounds like your wife is a flirt.

[joepamjohn]

You may consider moving. The caliber of individuals in your current neighborhood appear to be less than civilized.If it is as bad as you say, you will eventually have to stand your ground and it may very well end up bad for you (and her).

This sounds a little odd to me though. There are a lot of pretty women I know (including my wife) and her friends, and other than an occaisional whistle or something like that there are no problems. I suspect there is something else going on here that either you don't know or are not telling.

[Vinz]

I'd get together with the wife and take a self defence class. It would suck having to shoot a few guys due to a paranoid incident.

When it happens, take notes, descriptions, license plates actions taken then report to the authorities. Nothing gets a group of creeps off of you like a camera.


Good luck.


vinz

[7.62x54R]

File a police report and buy her a Taser

http://www.taser.com/products/consumers/Pages/C2.aspx

[Rivers]

If the OP is describing a real situation, even from his own perspective, I'm really disappointed in some of the juvenile responses. You're revealing too much about yourselves, guys!

I'm taking this with my own experiences to guide me. I've known two models who have been murdered. (One was caught on America's Most Wanted, LAPD caught the other.) I dated another who had her very own semi-stalker, a licensed psychologist, no less! I say "semi" because he knew enough where the legal line was, but there were far too many coincidental meetings in a large city to be mere coincidence.

The OP may not realize this but he may actually be at-risk as much as his wife. He can be an obstacle preventing an obsessed "lover" from being with his dream girl. To the obsessed, it's destiny. You can't argue with that logic because it's based in an alternate universe. What you can do is prevent and prepare, just in case.

Prevent by recognizing signals and mannerisms that your wife may be sending that can be misinterpreted as "come on's" to strangers. Watch the wardrobe. Be careful to not associate with the wrong crowd. Take a look at your lives from an outsider's point of view. And when you know you're being followed, don't drive home!!! Drive to a police station or fire house if no LE agency is nearby. Stay in public areas until the threat is gone.

Prepare by accepting that something could happen despite your best efforts. When you realize that either or both of you could be attacked, how can you defend yourselves? Pepper spray at a minimum. CCW with training. Defensive driving is another skill that can save your lives.

Don't minimize or laugh this off as being one weirdo's problem. The OP stated that random males have accosted her on the road, etc. A restraining order "might" have effect with one jerk, but beyond that you're kidding yourselves. The OP should encourage his wife to join him in learning stronger defensive skills, if for no other reason than it will keep her safer and give him more peace of mind. And it's a "couple's activity" so they can share, like golfing or tennis...