Possible Stalker Situation

[johnthomas]

why is the notebook so private? My wife might think I'm hiding something.

[Seesm]

Just post a pic will you? Come ON..

[duane_black]

132 posts and no one tells the poor guy that once she gets a restraining order on the guy, she is legally JUSTIFIED in concealed (or open) carry without a license.

File police reports and get the paper!

I was not aware of 12031(j)(2), thank you Fate.

I wasn't either. That's something cool to learn. Thanks.

[okimreloaded]

While the stalker has been the main focus of this thread, the original question asked was - how can I legally protect my wife. I asked for thoughts on tasers, or open carry while in her vehicle. I had no idea about the restraining order thing. THANKS!!! That's great. The guy has not been a bother since I followed him and let him see me in my wife's car.

[okimreloaded]

why is the notebook so private? My wife might think I'm hiding something.

I guess it's not really anymore...just something I hang on to from when I was single. I like having my own things.

[okimreloaded]

OP is coming to our forum because he bought a gun and now wanted us to tell him if he should use it. Cry for help type of situation.

We all have a feeling you have NO CLUE what you got yourself into. Mixing a gun in this situation WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING is going to put you in jail or worse.

Ask yourself some questions or better yet, talk to a professional who knows firearms and confrontational situation:
Are you prone to burst of anger?
Can you maintain your composure during a confrontation?
Do you know what to do in case the situation get volatile on the street?
Can you protect yourself or your wife or both of you?

Here's my contribution:
My former girlfriend was cute, really cute. (Sorry, as an ex- I don't keep her pics and she's married now, but she looked a lot like Tia Tanaka when she was 22.) Guys are always hitting on her at the clubs, at school, geez, even at church. No big deal, I trust her. If she felt threatened or uncomfortable, she's open enough to talk to me. One fellow in particular, Jason (yeah I'll name names!), a recent implant from Los Angeles to my town of Sacramento wanted to make friends. Sure, why not, though I didn't know this guy that well, but he was part of my social club and church.

Next thing I know, my girlfriend is telling me he's hitting on her. She already told him she's hooked up with me, but Jason doesn't care. She doesn't like his aggressiveness so I told him

"She said back off, Dude. That isn't cool. Lots of other girls here that are unattached and just as pretty."

Next thing I know, next week, he's doing it again. Fine.

"Jason, let's have a talk."

I tell him to meet me at Branden's Firing Range. I unload two full magazines of 9mm into a B-27. 28 rounds to center mass with 2 rounds into the head.

"Here, keep this as a souvenir from me."
He went back to Los Angeles the next month.

Not the best way to handle the situation, but I manned up and took control. I never threatened him in any way, but it was obvious I didn't like how he was behaving. I'm not a big guy but I'm built like Rottweiler. If I have to fight, I'll make sure you never forget who you tangled with.

^^

these are different situations. You were aquatinted with that guy, I am not aquatinted with this guy at all. I have never been around when he's creeped out on my wife, I've only been told by her and by her mom who has been followed by him when she was in her car. Guys who hit on my wife so far have been fairly harmless, I'm not concerned about a guy who hits on my wife, I'm concerned about a guy who follows her and observes her and tries to approach her.

and no I did not ask if I should use my gun. I know when and how to use my gun and I wouldn't use it on a guy who was not eminently endangering mine or my wife's lives.

>>I asked what are good legal options for protecting my wife - thoughts on tasers or pepperspray vs open carry in her vehicle while driving.

Many people have posted some good ideas, although I've been getting a lot of questions about things unrelated to the topic at hand.

AND, my wife would be so pissed if I put pictures of her up on the web so a bunch of strange guys on the interweb could peek at her picture. No way!

[SJgunguy24]

Every bullet that leaves the muzzle of your gun is 50,000$. Thats in a justifiable shooting.
Have you signed up for Krav Maga, or any other type of fighting system?
A firearm is the last thing you grab, your best tool is your head.
If you can't figure out a way to loose this guy with your head then using a gun will get you prison time.

[RogueSniper]

While the stalker has been the main focus of this thread, the original question asked was - how can I legally protect my wife. I asked for thoughts on tasers, or open carry while in her vehicle. I had no idea about the restraining order thing. THANKS!!! That's great. The guy has not been a bother since I followed him and let him see me in my wife's car.

I congrat you on taking the initiative and letting him know you're a presence.

^^

these are different situations. You were aquatinted with that guy, I am not aquatinted with this guy at all. I have never been around when he's creeped out on my wife, I've only been told by her and by her mom who has been followed by him when she was in her car. Guys who hit on my wife so far have been fairly harmless, I'm not concerned about a guy who hits on my wife, I'm concerned about a guy who follows her and observes her and tries to approach her.

and no I did not ask if I should use my gun. I know when and how to use my gun and I wouldn't use it on a guy who was not eminently endangering mine or my wife's lives.

>>I asked what are good legal options for protecting my wife - thoughts on tasers or pepperspray vs open carry in her vehicle while driving.

Many people have posted some good ideas, although I've been getting a lot of questions about things unrelated to the topic at hand.

AND, my wife would be so pissed if I put pictures of her up on the web so a bunch of strange guys on the interweb could peek at her picture. No way!

I know my situation was different. But it's good that you're taking note of what you could do LEGALLY.

Stay strong and keep us updated. We're here to help based on our experiences and knowledge. Remember, we're not providing legal advice, only suggestions. Talk to professionals. We have some here. Take that offline/PMs. This is a public forum and is monitored.

(Lay off the wife pics, you PERVs!)

[M1A Rifleman]

Only experienced this problem one time with one particular girl. She was a looker but she craved any attention all the time, and she also encouraged the attention for others - not sure how she did this as my attention would be in the direction of the offending male, but my assumption is eye contact and slight smiles.

Since men/boys are opportunists, my suggestion before going to war is make SURE she is NOT the cause of the problem.

[rkt88edmo]

You know people, who know people, who know who this person is. I would want to know his name ASAP if for no other reason than to provide information in the police reports and to do a little digging with google.

I don't think that not knowing his name is acceptable.

Training, knife, and pepperspray are all readily available and fairly inexpensive. Increasing your awareness takes more effort but may have the most payoff.

[SJOHN]

^^

these are different situations. You were aquatinted with that guy, I am not aquatinted with this guy at all. I have never been around when he's creeped out on my wife, I've only been told by her and by her mom who has been followed by him when she was in her car. Guys who hit on my wife so far have been fairly harmless, I'm not concerned about a guy who hits on my wife, I'm concerned about a guy who follows her and observes her and tries to approach her.

and no I did not ask if I should use my gun. I know when and how to use my gun and I wouldn't use it on a guy who was not eminently endangering mine or my wife's lives.

>>I asked what are good legal options for protecting my wife - thoughts on tasers or pepperspray vs open carry in her vehicle while driving.

Many people have posted some good ideas, although I've been getting a lot of questions about things unrelated to the topic at hand.

AND, my wife would be so pissed if I put pictures of her up on the web so a bunch of strange guys on the interweb could peek at her picture. No way!

What's wrong with taking the initiative and introducing yourself to the guy? Give the guy some vibe you are onto him and if needed send him a louder message like RougeSniper suggested.

[GrayWolf09]

If it is a religious organization, talk to your minister, pastor, priest, bishop, rabbi, imam, or leader and the council, board, deacons or whatever and tell them what has happened. Inform them that if he comes anywhere near your wife again, you will leave and join another religious organization. Trust me religious organizations do not like to lose members.

If I was to guess, because he has been told to stay away from other members, he is probably someone who is down and out and may be a few pepsis short of a full vending machine. That is not good, because rational thinking and behavior control tend not to work very well. I would take him aside quietly and make the most outrageous threat you can. Something like "If you come within 50 feet of my wife I will kill you with my bare hands, cut your chest open and eat your heart raw." Because of his limited capacity, he will not know you have no means and no desire to carry out the threat, and if he reports you to the police, you can lie and say "Does that sound like something I would say?" You are trying to scare him enough that he thinks getting near your wife will have serious negative consequences, which is the only way he will control his behavior.

[WeekendWarrior]

WWRTW

[RogueSniper]

Step up your counter-surveillance game. You should find out what this guy's deal is. Follow him around for a few days, learn his habits and where he likes to hang out, maybe you can get evidence of infidelity and use it against him to free up the family friend from a potentially dangerous boyfriend.

^^^ This

Make the Creep feel the pressure. Turn the tables on him and make him start sweating. Keep him off balanced.

You want him to start thinking:
"Was that 'okimreloaded'?"
"I thought I saw HIM in my rearview mirror?"
"Was that 'okimreloaded' on the street?"
"Why is HE taking my photo?"
"Everywhere I turn, I thought I saw 'okimreloaded' !"

It's not a good feeling to be caught. I've had to sit in my car waiting to serve people notices. I'd track them down and follow them around. It takes time but it works.

Putting this out there: Would it be a good idea to put a GPS tracker on the wife's vehicle? Just to know where she is and she's safe? Also, does she have OnStar? I know they have a tracker on their system and she can always call for help if she can't reach her phone to dial.