Possible Stalker Situation

[okimreloaded]

Let me start out with my wife is gorgeous. I've had to deal with aggressive men a few times, but in a period of three months things began to get of hand and we had several instances that frightened me. All three times my wife was chased/followed by strange men. 2 of the times I was with her the one time I wasn't is the reason for this post.

The other two times were pretty bad. We had two guys in a van circling the block taunting me and shouting things at my wife about how beautiful she was and asking if I was her boyfriend or husband. They circled the block we were on 3 times and the only reason they stopped is because we literally had to hide behind a shed.

shortly thereafter we were followed by a carload of young men, 5 of them who were all rolling down their windows and trying to get my wife's attention.

After this I bought a gun and learned how to use it.

About this time my wife was coming home from work and a guy who we DO NOT know, but associate with members of a club we belong to. He had actually been kicked out of the club and while allowed to attend club functions was not allowed by club policy to associate with members of the club. He ignored this rule and attempted to make contact with my wife several times, aside from club policy, my wife had no interest in talking to his man either way.

This guy saw her and began following her and my wife did not notice - as she was getting out of her car she saw the guy getting out of his car, parked in front of her house. taken a back - he tried to talk with her, she asked if he had been reinstated as a member of the club, he said that he was working on it but not yet a full member again. My wife made an excuse to leave and went in to the house.

About a year later we ran into him and it turns out he's dating a childhood friends sister that my brother keeps in contact with. we recognized him and I didn't mention the fact that he had followed my wife home in a very creepy way. He seemed agitated at my presence and would not make eye contact with me and refused to speak to me, instead staying off in the distance while his girlfriend spoke with my wife, brother and I.

I got a bad vibe but didn't think much of it. yesterday my wife was coming home from work and she saw his car in front of her. (we live in a small town) she tried to stay behind him, and as he changed lanes into the turn lane to do a u-turn she ended up right next to him at the stoplight. She continued straight ahead on the street after the light. She noticed he exited his u-turn and began following her, he attempted to pull up on her drivers side and she changed lanes into the far lane and turned quickly down the street we live on.

I'm concerned because:
1) he followed her home previously
2) he would not look me in the eye and seemed agitated with my presence when my wife was there
3) we do not know him at all and have never had a conversation with him or any interaction or familiarity with him that would justify following someone to their house in an attempt to have a conversation with him.

This may have been a coincidence but given that he has done it prior I cannot give him the benefit of the doubt.

My question is: How can I legally protect my wife?

I know open carry is very sketchy - but I feel that the if she were to open carry in her vehicle only she is less likely to threaten the public or cause worry to any LEOS unless pulled over. I believe this to be a good option because if he were to attempt to kidnap her it would most likely be on her way to or from work, either getting into or out of her vehicle. If she was aware of his presence, (we working on awareness) then I would feel better knowing she was armed.

I have considered a taser because it's legal to carry but for 400 bucks it kind of makes me just want to buy a glock. Are there any competitors to taser that offer a civilian product that is similar?

What are your thoughts on KIMBER's guardian angel?

I highly doubt that she would be approved for a ccw but is there any opinions on women vs men approval rates for ccw applications? What are the legal ramifications for non permitted ccw w/o the intent to commit a crime?

I know his first name and have contacted some people to find out more about him, including his last name - and I believe that it is reasonable that I could obtain his address:

should I file a complaint with the police department? I know that I could find him at the club meetings, We now attend a different chapter of the same club but I do have access to the one he attends. Should I try to contact him and be direct?

Has anyone else had issues with a stalker?

[packnrat]

Did you file any police reports??

If not. It never happend.


After reading my posting, it sounded a bit off.

Not meaning to sound like it "never happend" but with out a report there is nothing one can say with paper to back up a problem.

I do hope there will be no problems.
But would say keep quite till something happens....but might be to late then.

6 of one, half dozen of another.


.

[Blue]

Did you file any police reports??

If not. It never happend.

And, any pics of the wife?

[okimreloaded]

I haven't filed a police report because I have never done it before but also wasn't sure that it was justified. Can I file a police report if I believe he followed my wife without any proof other than he's done it before?

[freonr22]

I dunno !st post this story ummm somethings fishy I dont buy it.
If She is that much of a stalker magnet,,,
a. YOur insecure
b. shes having an affair.
c. this is a madeup story due to no mention of a police reoprt.
d. no pics of her.

[okimreloaded]

why would I make up a story on a forum I never post to?

My concern is doing what I can within the legal limit. And why would I post pictures of my wife?

Is this normal? have you ever followed a girl home that you don't know?

[Rick530]

Man up and ask the guy WTF.

[Rem1492]

it CAN happen. Its not B.S. Talk to any pretty woman and you will probably find some similar story. Whether its hot women or celebrities, people DO get stalked.

my fiance was a model in LA, mid to late 90s. To me she was my girl but to other men I guess she was hot meat. Several times she was followed to her car and stalked. We bought a Glock 26 and assumed the judged by 12 vs carried by 6 rule. There are casting calls and jobs that sometimes aren't legit and there are dudes waiting. I did accompany her and some female friends to some places just to be there so no guys would get the wrong idea. But I couldn't go everywhere all the time. Eventually a girl will be alone. (in TX girls can be armed, in CA, you can bet they aren't)

A personal cop friend noted that if he were to find a model type of girl, getting off a set late in a remote area of town alone, packing heat without a CCW, he'd not bother her about it. Understandable.

I also had a run-in with a guy who apparently knew her a little too well. He was not so interested in talking to me, as much as, talking to me about HER. Sent my spidey sense going. I was based at Edwards AFB at the time so I considered moving with her on base with the idea that no psycho can stalk you at home there.


for the record, I am not insecure, she went wherever she went and I could care less, trust wasnt an issue (for me). She WAS having an affair ( so that point is valid, hindsight 20/20 long story) but the stories are not made up.


EDIT TO ADD:

I have several Kimber Guardians for home and use in Europe. Kimber has another model too. It is worth every penny, I'd put one in her purse, one in each car and one in the house. most places have them for $39 or less. What others said, DOCUMENT it all. I am not sure if a police report is necessary. If it gets bad, hire a private detective on that guy, so he can verify he is following the wife. If anything happens and you need to use physical force, you want all the written/witness statements you can get. Also, she might want to dress less catchy. IF she has a problem with the attention she'd dress with a baseball cap and jeans like celebrities at a local coffee shop laying low. I have an idea that she is probably enjoying the attention (though you might not believe that). Last option (you will see if she really wants to be with you) MOVE.

[berto]

Call the popo and they'll tell you what's up.

What kind of club kicks out a guy but still lets him hang around? How can he hang around club events while not having contact with other members? Makes no sense.

[Hoop]

a. YOur insecure
b. shes having an affair.
c. this is a madeup story due to no mention of a police reoprt.
d. no pics of her.

Man up and ask the guy WTF.

Yeah, I vote A and C. I don't want to sound like a dick or anything, but this sounds weird.

[okimreloaded]

I like the man up and ask the dude wtf. My thing is, I have never been in a fight, i'm very cautious and usually get along w/ everybody. Very laid back. I avoid confrontation and usually win people over with charm.

I don't see any of my skills being useful in disarming a potential stalker. I mean if I tell him to eff off and he wants to fight, I think it's just escalated the situation. I don't want to get arrested, I just want this interest to stop and not to develop any further.

[okimreloaded]

IT IS weird which is why I'm concerned.

[Alan Block]

1. Ugly her up a little
2. Have her make sure the doors are locked and the windows are up. (the car is the best weapon)

[Clayface]

Invite him over for dinner and then shoot him in the face.

[okimreloaded]

Some background on me, I grew up with a paranoid mother, because my uncle was murdered when I was 4 by this random dude he let move in w/ him while he was trying to get back on his feet. Friend of a friend. I recognize that my mom was imbalanced in her fear of strangers, however it's been ingrained in me. what scares me the most is that this guy is pretty much a complete stranger.

Some of my guy friends have made comments to my wife or even seemed to me to be outrightly flirting with my wife. Just the other day one of my friends told her that "there aren't a lot of people I know that have seen you without makeup on but the ones that have say you're GORGEOUS and don't need it." I didn't start posting about it on a forum and threaten to shoot him, I don't think he wants to hook up with my wife I just took it as a compliment that my wife is beautiful and that he thinks so too. I had no problem with him telling her she was beautiful.

What frightens me is that this dude is a complete stranger, when I met him he barely shook hands with me and would not look me in the eye and was visibly agitated during our encounter.

I do not believe he's followed my wife other times that I'm not aware of, but I do not want it to progress to that. Even if his intent is not to harm my wife but simply to speak to her, the way he's going about it, causes me to feel incredibly threatened. If he walked up to us and introduced himself that would be one thing, but just following my wife home without cause doesn't give me any info on his motive or on his intentions. What does he want? I don't know, all I know is he wants it bad enough to change his plans of going wherever he was going to following my wife home and he's done it before.

ANYWAY this isn't about necessarily what should I do with him, it's how can I legally protect my wife?

What is your opinion on KIMBER's product, are there any alternatives to taser that function in a similar way, what are the consequences for concealed carry w/o a permit?