Dating & Carry

[I Swan]

You seem to not understand everything I said and I could be clearer on 1-2 points. I personally don't like it it does not mean everybody does not like it or that someone is wrong because they have personal preferences. Just like some people like blondes and others like redheads.

If you read what I said I said I like a woman to take responsibility for her own safety. Nowhere did I state a woman shouldn't like guns if she so chooses or have a ccw and carry, in fact I encourage that. In a lifetime of shooting and owning guns though unfortunately the majority of women I've met that were heavily in to it were mainly doing it as an attention ploy. As always there was exceptions to this rule.

As an example I don't think I've ever personally known a female FFL where there was not a man behind the scenes financing it at least partially and running the show or had originally started the business and passed away and the wife kept if going for a few more years. Stranger things have happened, I met a couple at a gun show that were in to knitting and claimed they knew a good amount of men that were in to knitting. Maybe I should make some cozies for my rifles!

I rarely to never post on this subforum because I am not a woman but I noticed the title when it was first posted and I found the subject interesting. Woman or man, black or white or if you are a martian I support legal responsible gun ownership and carry if done for the right reasons and with maturity and will help anyone in that regard if I can and I have in the past quite a few times including women.

Yet another exception to this rule is I am extremely leery of bringing up with most people, especially women I'm interested in my extreme interest in guns so like the OP it has been an issue for me as well. I do not bring it up for a long time then I do so gradually and with hints. If I hear negative comments about guns I pretty much know the relationship may not work out.

I once almost got married to someone that said she was OK with guns but mentioned having a past ex that was really in to them and was also abusive to her. She would later on in relationship throw it in my face that I owned and liked guns as a way to get back at me. One of the various reasons it did not work out for us and I'm glad now I did not marry her.

[ElDub1950]

This is an interesting counter point to an identical thread from a guy asking if he should tell a lady on their first date that he was carrying.

The one lady's adamant response was that if she found a guy was carrying a gun on their first date, she would immediately leave and never talk to him again. She's a gun owner. She just felt she was far too much at risk being with a guy with a gun on the first date. Thread here post 71

Just curious how ladies in this thread felt about discovering the guy was carrying on the first date.

[BadKitty]

This is an interesting counter point to an identical thread from a guy asking if he should tell a lady on their first date that he was carrying.

The one lady's adamant response was that if she found a guy was carrying a gun on their first date, she would immediately leave and never talk to him again. She's a gun owner. She just felt she was far too much at risk being with a guy with a gun on the first date. Thread here post 71

Just curious how ladies in this thread felt about discovering the guy was carrying on the first date.

If I was out with a man who revealed to me that he is carrying, I'd think it was hot! I'd probably want to launch into a discussion on firearms.

I see what the one female poster you linked to was trying to say - it *can* be dangerous and creepy to find out your first date has a gun on him. Like, is he going to try and rape me or what? BUT, concealed is concealed and the gentleman shouldn't be flashing it about or mentioning it. That's the same advice we gave the woman who started this thread.

That said....a regular, non-psycho dude carrying? Hot.

That's why I like cops and military men. They don't have an issue with my guns and I don't have an issue with their guns. I once went out on a date with a cop and he may or may not have been carrying, I don't know. I didn't ask nor did I "check his pockets". At one point in the conversation, we discussed knives and I mentioned the pretty rainbow Kershaw I had in my purse. His response was, "Girl, I don't need to know what you have." So, there ya go. He didn't even want to know what was in my purse.

[I Swan]

I didn't even think about knives, that is also an issue too I guess. Carrying knives is so much a part of what I do that it is like wearing shoes or something I don't usually give it much thought that someone might not like it except in places like airport or court or states with strict knife laws.

I once this year pulled out a fairly large knife to cut open a box of coconuts in front of a woman I liked and had gone out with a few times she didn't say anything but I'm sure that could have been an awkward moment on a first date! It was in front of her house too.

Where things can be tricky too is when one works in the firearms industry I have at various times in my life it is harder to hide what your employment is. In a way it can be a self correcting problem as if someone has a problem with you working at a gun range or shop or something you know it probably won't work out anyhow. It is an interesting angle to be able to invite a date to come shoot a gun at your work after hours. I did do that 2-3x.

[BadKitty]

All of you gentlemen would do well to remember that all of us women here are already gun owners, gun supporters or at least willing to be okay with the notion. As BonnieB alluded to, the women here at CalGuns tend to be of the strong, independent, gun-totin' type. Therefore, I believe that our views towards a man with a gun or a knife will be more lenient.

However, if I'm being honest, I would imagine that the general, non-CalGuns woman on the street is far more likely to cringe or bolt for the door if her date had a gun or even a knife.

Talking to us CalGuns women about knives and guns is like preaching to a sexy, bad a** choir.

[jeremiah12]

All of you gentlemen would do well to remember that all of us women here are already gun owners, gun supporters or at least willing to be okay with the notion. As BonnieB alluded to, the women here at CalGuns tend to be of the strong, independent, gun-totin' type. Therefore, I believe that our views towards a man with a gun or a knife will be more lenient.

However, if I'm being honest, I would imagine that the general, non-CalGuns woman on the street is far more likely to cringe or bolt for the door if her date had a gun or even a knife.

Talking to us CalGuns women about knives and guns is like preaching to a sexy, bad a** choir.

I can say it also depends on what part of the country you are in. I have spent significant time in areas of this country where nearly everyone is assumed to be armed and nobody gives a second thought. The mother of my step-father who lived in Idaho was always armed and so were her friends.

I lived there one summer and dated a couple of girls (I was 16) and the fathers made sure their daughters were armed when they went out. These young ladies could shoot. I took one shooting for a date when I discovered she carried. In that part of the country at that time, nobody gave a second thought to teens with guns out target shooting or carrying for protection while driving in the middle of no where or walking an the edge of town because of predatory animals such as bears and mountain lions.

As a high school teacher, I have found more young ladies than ever before are gun enthusiasts. Word gets around quickly that I am a gun friendly teacher. I also let students get credit for one missing assignment if they share with me some hobby or sport that they participate in. I need a picture. I have seen several young ladies who are shooting skeet, hunting, target shooting, or on various shooting teams. Those pictures I cannot keep because if seen by an administrator, it could create problems.

I do believe their will be more strong, independent, gun-totin' women in the future. That is what scares the progressives.

[Sapperforward]

All of you gentlemen would do well to remember that all of us women here are already gun owners, gun supporters or at least willing to be okay with the notion. As BonnieB alluded to, the women here at CalGuns tend to be of the strong, independent, gun-totin' type. Therefore, I believe that our views towards a man with a gun or a knife will be more lenient.

Sounds like I need to start spending more time in the ladies forum.

[I Swan]

I was going to also bring that up that in certain areas of the country it may be less of an issue and be more acceptable. I planning moving permanently to AZ in next few years so hopefully I find that to be the case. I don't know if age and ethnicity, country of origin also come in to play.

I have dated foreigners and I tend to go out with women quite a bit younger than me with varying degrees of acceptance of my lifestyle and guns. A friend of mine took his very fresh off the boat GF to the shooting range in the getting to know you stages. I supplied the guns and ammo even though he has some he didn't know how she would react to that.

She wasn't too apprehensive and it went off well and she had fun. She's Chinese so I made sure to bring some Chinese guns and ammo, LOL.

[SonofWWIIDI]

If you can carry, do so. I wouldn't hesitate to carry on a date if it weren't unobtainium where I live.

The first 10 minutes of a date should be more than enough time to find out if you're compatible in that regard. If you're diametrically opposed politically, that can and frequently is detrimental to a long term relationship (especially in "modern times" where staying together through thick and thin has become divorce if we don't agree). You don't have to have everything in common, but the big stuff, 2A, religion, recreational shared interests etc. are vitally important.

That is not to say that some couples who are opposite can't make it work, but those differences can and will cause friction. Who needs that? Daily life can provide more than enough of that to last a lifetime. When I go home I want to be with a woman who has similar ideals and interests. A woman I can share my life with, not argue with and attempt to cajole to my side of the fence (or vice versa).

It reminds me of an old joke. (Insert you choice of gender)

Why is it that a woman marries a man, takes 15 years to change him, and then complains "he's not the man I married!"

If you're comfortable carrying, do it. If he doesn't like it, tough s**t, move on.

Personally, a woman who doesn't need me to protect her, but relies on us looking out for each other goes way beyond lots of other less important things.

Start with the big stuff, the 10th-11th-12th dates can be a time to figure out the small stuff.

JMHO.

Good luck!

[movie zombie]

Son, you've reminded me of this very old adage: men get married hoping she will never change; women get married hoping he will.

[SonofWWIIDI]

Son, you've reminded me of this very old adage: men get married hoping she will never change; women get married hoping he will.

Ain't that the truth.

[BonnieB]

To roll back up to ElDub's comment, on being a woman and suddenly discovering the man you are kissing, is carrying:

Yup, it happened to me, in my pre-gun incarnation. Here's how it went:

• He bent down to kiss me at the end of a date.
  
• I liked him, so I wrapped my arms around his waist.
  
• My left hand went thunk on his IWB carry weapon.
  
• I had a moment of total confusion, then figured it out, and kinda froze.
  
• He froze, and said, "Are you OK?"
  
• I said, "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are ya glad to see me?'. (Which is an old Mae West line, and I WAS kidding).
  
• He said "Well, yes, actually, it is and I am". (He was that kind of guy...)
  
• LOL, all the way home.

No, seriously. I knew he was former Special Forces and pretty recently out of a war zone, in a Criminal Justice major at college, with a goal of becoming an Oakland cop. I knew him for months, at school before I dated him. I was a little startled when I bumped into it, because I didn't know at the time that he carried. But I wasn't all that surprised, when I realized what was going on. Just a little startled. I really didn't mind, but I would have been happier to know about it before I physically bumped into his carry gun. Mainly because, in my innocence, I though if I bumped it wrong, it could go off. Silly me, I didn't know any better then.

Then the fight started, that went on for months, about me making him take it off body (in MY house), and put it where I could see it, so I wouldn't bump into it unexpectedly. That fight continued and was finally compromised by my agreeing that he could keep it in whatever room in my house he happened to be in. But he still didn't like it.

Now the really interesting question. Not "should he have told me", but WHEN should he have told me? Probably he should have warned me when we got to the kissing stage, that he had a weapon on his belt. Could be a knife, could be whatever, but a weapon. I would have shrugged.

I wasn't scared, I always felt safe when he was around, because I knew he would kill someone with his bare hands who offered to hurt me. The carry weapon was just one other method...

So I do think it's fair to warn a person who's about to handle your body, about unexpected paraphernalia. You don't have to say what it is, just "Oh, BTW, I'm have something for self defense on my belt". So, no surprises and maybe an interesting conversation.

But again, this only happens when you are ready and willing to be kissed. But what if you're dancing? Or he puts his hand on your waist going upstairs? Body contact sometimes happens unexpectedly.

But I will say this. If a man got really freaked out and defensive that I was carrying, I'd drop him like a hot rock. See "Rule # 1", below. (Signature block has been updated...)

[Barang]

Carry and don't tell ( 1st, 2nd, 3rd date ... )
Would ask his position on guns. If indifferent, would pursue a little further how he's going to react if there's a gun at home. That will give you an idea where he stands.
2A, religion are two of the major issues in a relationships. If not agreeable , these will cause constant friction.

[penguinofsleep]

Carry as much or as little as your want. It's your life. Your choices, comfort, security, etc. I personally don't mind a women who does what she wants. If she's difficult about it or w/e, then I just won't date her, etc.

I'd bring up the topic of guns sooner than later but you don't need to let them know you are an owner right away either. Or that you are carrying. For me it's just one of those things that when the time is right, I'll know when to bring it up, and I won't necessarily do it all at once - depending on the person I may just share ideas or ask thoughts and not share that I own firearms, etc.

[ElDub1950]

Carry as much or as little as your want. I'd bring up the topic of guns sooner than later but you don't need to let them know you are an owner. Or that you are carrying. For me it's just one of those things that when the time is right, I'll know when to bring it up, and I won't necessarily do it all at once - depending on the person I may just share ideas or ask thoughts and not share that I own firearms, etc.

Seems to me that the typical 1st date conversations include "What do you do for hobbies." Since honesty is the best policy, this would be the time to talk about your shooting hobby.