Dating & Carry

[Svetlana]

(All of these questions apply to if the guy is not pro 2A, but not anti either)

1. 1st date, if you never met the guy and you're legal ccw, so ccw or not? might he be put off, any experiences?

2. 2A legal premises or your home, carry or not? would it hurt his feelings if he thought you didn't trust him?

3. 3rd date or later, still carry or not? when to not carry around him?

[LeadFarmer74]

Carry. If it is important to you he should understand and if he doesn't well you know.

[Big Jake]

Carry. If it is important to you he should understand and if he doesn't well you know.

A guys perspective on this. If the man you are dating does not support your decision to legally carry than do you really want to pursue it further with him? Just my 2 cents anyway!

[I Swan]

Carry, it is a difficult subject for me to bring up since guns are such a huge part of my life but if someone isn't comfortable with me owning or carrying guns then they are not for me. I don't want or expect someone to be in to guns as obsessively as me but I will not tolerate someone not wanting me to own firearms or being a rabid anti gunner.

One of my biggest fears is a spiteful ex making stuff up and getting a restraining order against me to curtail my gun rights. I'd have to dump hundreds of guns. Usually with most women I am vague about owning guns or how many. That gets hard to do though at the times in my life when I've worked in the industry.

[Garv]

If he doesn't like you carrying, would you continue to date him?
There is your answer. Guy or gun, your choice.

If he is a threat to a female/woman/lady*, he probably won't be back for date #2.
Otherwise, he should try to determine if you are rational or not quickly and go from there.

*joke on an older thread here.

IBMZ/BB/BK

[Svetlana]

He's neither pro or anti-2A, at least that's the vibe I got.

I did drop hints that I was pro-2A but nothing beyond that and he didn't seem to react (too) badly to that.

[Big Jake]

He's neither pro or anti-2A, at least that's the vibe I got.

I did drop hints that I was pro-2A but nothing beyond that and he didn't seem to react (too) badly to that.

For your own safety carry. If he is not comfortable with it than you need to decide which is more important. Personally, I would not see someone again if they were uncomfortable with it.

[grantar2]

A guys perspective on this. If the man you are dating does not support your decision to legally carry than do you really want to pursue it further with him? Just my 2 cents anyway!

+^1

Although truthfully concealed means concealed, why would he know.

[I Swan]

+^1

Although truthfully concealed means concealed, why would he know.

Depends on situation and type of gun and carry. Even a simple hug may reveal that someone is carrying.

[Svetlana]

grantar2: sooner or later he needs to know, but #1 is the first date, I prefer to be up front.

But at the same time I have no idea how guys who are afraid of guns would react, not trying to sound sexist or rude or anything. However from my experience some people (even people who think they are pro-2A people) don't realize how much they are afraid of guns until they actually see one face to face.

...In other words I just don't want him to freak out.

[the-right-way]

Carry. If it is important to you he should understand and if he doesn't well you know.

I'll concur. Further I would almost wonder if someone were anti-gun ( like flaming) if they were worth dating. That is just me, people will have differing opinions. I dont think I could date an anti

[Condorguns]

(All of these questions apply to if the guy is not pro 2A, but not anti either)

1. 1st date, if you never met the guy and you're legal ccw, so ccw or not? might he be put off, any experiences?

2. 2A legal premises or your home, carry or not? would it hurt his feelings if he thought you didn't trust him?

3. 3rd date or later, still carry or not? when to not carry around him?

I would carry every time. I don't feel the need to disclose the fact that I am a CCW holder to someone who I am dating. If the relationship continues then yes it's something to sit down and talk about.

[nothinghere2c]

interesting question...
on the first date, you could probably get away with carrying and him not knowing at all.

after the first, if you have invited him over to your place and you're carrying in your home, depending on the situation he might notice. if i noticed after we had been out a few times, i'd jokingly give you crap for it ("dang, and here i was going to chop you up and put you in the freezer") but it probably wouldn't bother me.

although, i'm not sure how someone who is uncomfortable around guns might react.

you'd probably have to gauge the dudes on a case-by-case basis. if they are just unfamiliar with guns and thats where their discomfort stems from, maybe you can ease them into it (if you really like the guy). who knows, they may end up being pro-gun.

if they are anti, because they just don't like guns period, then meh... move along.

[sonofeugene]

Better to find out sooner than later. Why waste time?

[BonnieB]

If you met the guy online, you should be able to find out his position on gun ownership by email or phone, in advance. As in "Wow! My mom is thinking of learning to shoot for self defense. I'm not sure if I should go with her to lessons. What do you think?" That whole thing might fall apart then and there. Or he might encourage you for "lessons" Don't tell him you're a gun owner in email. Ever.

And only meet him in a public place, and arrange a 'safe call' with a friend, just in case.

Never, never, never tell anyone you are carrying. I think there's a good argument that if you say you are carrying, you have blown your legally required 'concealment'. It's supposed to be a secret, so keep it a secret.

If you actually go out with him, on a first date, and you are carrying concealed, he should never know you have it, unless he gets close enough for a kiss. I'm old-school. If you're meeting a stranger for the first time a handshake or light hug is all you need to do on a first date, so he probably won't know anything on a first date. If you are carrying in your purse, he might never know, for weeks and months.

If you like the guy, and you see him the second time, THEN I'd open the topic of gun ownership and see how he reacts. If he is radically anti, drop the topic and end the date, he won't last anyway. If he's neutral or pro, you can suggest the next date be at the range.

I'm wondering if you think you might have to defend yourself against this guy. If you have the tiniest doubt, don't see him. Trust your instincts. If you think you would carry, because you always carry, that's different. But still keep your mouth shut until you're sure where he stands.

Don't worry so much about his feelings. The only really important thing is how you feel about him. If he won't date you because you own or carry, no great loss.