Has anyone stopped carrying on purpose?

[babe]

Just wondering if anyone here has made the conscious decision to stop carrying, or to carry less often, and why? My husband used to carry every day religiously, but these days, he'll only carry if we're going out at night or if he's breaking is usual daily routine.

For many years in San Diego, we were unable to get a ccw license. We once came home to a break in, had a few road ragers really scare us to where we were calling 911 from the car, and would often venture to seedier parts of town. When we moved to Riverside, my husband got his ccw and carried daily. I felt better about him in his real estate career being armed. We felt safer all around. But then we had grandkids who visited us regularly. I remembered that once, before they were born, my husband unholstered his carry weapon and left it on his desk. Another time, he was getting ready to go out and couldn't find it. Turns out, he left it on the kitchen island, overnight.

Now, I know those are only two occasions in 10+ years of carrying, but it is two too many. He cannot guarantee me that he will never leave his gun out again. He might forget, and it might be a day when we have the grandkids.

We moved into a gated community, and honestly feel very safe. Our semi retired routine of whole foods, the gym, dog walking, card nights with friends....honestly I feel more likely to be struck by lightning than to be the victim of violence. We are of course thankful to have the option to carry when we want to. We feel safer armed when we break our routine, take long car trips, go out at night, etc.

Finally, I wouldn't tell my husband this, but I have my doubts about a man in his mid 50's having the reflexes to confidently use a gun under a fast moving and stressful self defense situation. I would say my husband is a typical man of his age, and I would also say the typical 55 year old will have a hard time reacting to the typical 19 year old attacker. Overall, I think we are safer selectively carrying under circumstances were we are more likely to encounter a threat.

[steveeidmann]

so what should a man in his 50's due to defend self or family???????

[Rogue187]

Get your husband and yourself to one of the many training schools out there. Become more confident with his weapon and some practice and the proper mindset. If you have the right mindset that is half the battle.


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[AidenHK]

Never leave your piece unattended period. It's in your hip or locked.

[FresnoRob]

Babe, I respectfully disagree about men of a certain age not carrying. I'll be 60 this year. I've had years of martial arts training and can still handle myself fairly well. My slowing down is precisely why I carry. I understand that facing someone much younger than myself I need all the help I can get. As already pointed out the hubby leaving his weapon around and forgetting where he left it is a training issue. Get him some good training for Fathers Day.

[ProtectThe2nd]

Babe, I'm glad you feel safer in your new location, but...

I disagree with age being a reason NOT to carry...in fact IMHO it is MORE the reason to.

I'm sorry your husband has had 2 instances of what YOU deem unacceptable brain farts...

protecting the grand kids while important, also brings up the need to train them in gun safety assuming their parents agree.

Your husband needs a NEW "put away" routine to insure safety...not elimination of carry...

Age brings on the need for more training not the elimination of 2nd Amendment and carry participation.

When your husband carries he is protecting the "many"...not just the "one"

best wishes

[XDJYo]

I'm 52 and I *WISH* I could carry. The older I get, the slower I get, the more of a target (victim) I am and the more vulnerable I feel. The more I see, the more exposed I feel. I also keep an eye on local events re: robberies, assaults, home invasions etc, so I know what is happening locally. You don't have to live in a seedier neighborhood to have bad things happen. The scene of this world is changing. The areas that used to be fairly safe are now experiencing a boom in crime. Now, I sincerely doubt I could ward off someone without some sort of tool if given a determined attacker(s). And now, they are more and more often travelling in packs and it isn't just limited to men, women are making up a larger percentage these days.

If he/you have a CCW, carry and carry everyday. I understand it's alarming having left the gun out. It happens. It will happen. Having a routine/procedure to ensure it doesn't can help. It may be a time to have a sit down and education with your children and the grand kids. If you see a gun, stop, turn around and tell an adult. Education goes a long way.

Regarding your comment about your husband not having the reflexes to handle a 19 year old attacker. Not every encounter is a John Wick style battle of speed and agility. Sometimes, it's just a matter of waiting for your turn. Check out the Active Self Protection youtube channel. He has daily SD videos with lessons. Many of the successful defenders are aged. They win not because of sheer speed and Rob Leatham levels of shooting ability, but because they were smart.

Here's one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RCTaoGPrmE

And here's a search for 'elderly' on his channel. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsE...?query=elderly

And, let's not forget this awesome gem. She's never fired a gun before but successfully warded off 3(!) armed attackers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A804A3WAbB0

Please reconsider and be safe.

[Dano3467]

It is your life & free country so do what you think best

I EDC always, not that it's needed all the time, but I feel safer knowing I have a recorse just in case.

Now to Grand Children, my Grandson is schooled on firearms, & I have great trust in him to not do foolish things regarding guns.

He know what happens at the other end, & how it is you who are resonsable for every discharge.

Daughter was raised the same way, so 100 persent there also

Now for your low confidence in you hubboe aganst a quik moving 19 yr old thug.

My wife is my back up, yes she pack most of the time, she a county worker, so there so there's the problem for part time carry.

Have you considered a ccw to back up your man ?

[BluNorthern]

Finally, I wouldn't tell my husband this, but I have my doubts about a man in his mid 50's having the reflexes to confidently use a gun under a fast moving and stressful self defense situation. I would say my husband is a typical man of his age, and I would also say the typical 55 year old will have a hard time reacting to the typical 19 year old attacker.

Wow!!

[BigBamBoo]

You need to go to a few USPSA matches. There are many folks in their 50's that can out draw, out shoot, and do mag changes on the run faster than 98% of younger bad guys.

Heck....look at Jerry Miculek...he is in his 60's.

.

[Mopar Guy]

I am in shall issue county. When it turned shall issue, seemed like everyone was getting permits. Some thought it was a PITA after a few years and found it was not necessary with their lifestyles and know one who did not renew. I am guessing it was pressure from the wife. The area I live in is gated. I talk to a SO detective in our area he doesn't carry unless going to LA and not in the neighborhood either when he is off duty. He agrees that the immediate area is bubble land (gated community). I do find myself not carrying around town. Likelihood of a violent encounter is very low. It can impact clothing, set up and takes time. Yet, it can be rural in the local area out of town, so is very nice when in the back country. My wife complains that an attacker is not going to pick me as a victim. I still think it is a great option. The community is pro gun which is great and most all the people believe in the right to self defense.

I also train my kids that if they ever find a gun, do not touch and call me. That would be a huge F-up on my part. I have my son working on his merit badge so he is careful. If I make a mistake, my wife will let me have it. Daily habits do fix that. There is a lot of responsibility, so I can understand why some just don't think it is worth the hassle. There have been a few times in which my wife was glad I was carrying.

[Paladin]

Just wondering if anyone here has made the conscious decision to stop carrying, or to carry less often, and why? My husband used to carry every day religiously, but these days, he'll only carry if we're going out at night or if he's breaking is usual daily routine.

Why did he change his routine of EDCing "religiously"?

For many years in San Diego, we were unable to get a ccw license. We once came home to a break in, had a few road ragers really scare us to where we were calling 911 from the car, and would often venture to seedier parts of town.

You live in a "gated community." Does that "gate" surround the entire community? How high is the wall/fence? Is the gate manned by an armed guard and have an armed patrol, or is it just a keypad that someone with a small telescope can observe to steal the code? Does your house and all the others -- to reduce the likelihood BGs will even be inside your gated community -- have a monitored burglar alarm w/24 hr armed response?

You still drive outside your gated community, right? That means you can't "guarantee" you won't come across road ragers, right?

When we moved to Riverside, my husband got his ccw and carried daily. I felt better about him in his real estate career being armed. We felt safer all around.

But then we had grandkids who visited us regularly. I remembered that once, before they were born, my husband unholstered his carry weapon and left it on his desk. Another time, he was getting ready to go out and couldn't find it. Turns out, he left it on the kitchen island, overnight.

Now, I know those are only two occasions in 10+ years of carrying, but it is two too many. He cannot guarantee me that he will never leave his gun out again. He might forget, and it might be a day when we have the grandkids.

And you can't guarantee you/he won't back the car over the grandkids, that you/he/your kids won't leave them strapped in their seat in the car on a hot day.... As the old saying goes, "the only guarantees in life are death and taxes."

We moved into a gated community, and honestly feel very safe. Our semi retired routine of whole foods, the gym, dog walking, card nights with friends....honestly I feel more likely to be struck by lightning than to be the victim of violence. We are of course thankful to have the option to carry when we want to. We feel safer armed when we break our routine, take long car trips, go out at night, etc.

See that young woman a few treadmills down from the one you're on in the gym? Or those two gals sitting close to each other talking over their meal at Whole Foods? What you don't realize is one of those women's crazy ex's is about to show up to teach that "b--ch" that if he can't have her, "no one else will!" You are falsely assuming that the only time your husband (or you) will need a gun is if you are the "target." Even if you plan to not be a Good Samaritan and just slither away if someone else is being stabbed to death (like during the recent London Bridge terrorist attack), the BG may want to "go out in a blaze of 'glory'" by killing others, shooting up the place. He may not allow you to just walk away unscathed....

Finally, I wouldn't tell my husband this, but I have my doubts about a man in his mid 50's having the reflexes to confidently use a gun under a fast moving and stressful self defense situation. I would say my husband is a typical man of his age, and I would also say the typical 55 year old will have a hard time reacting to the typical 19 year old attacker. Overall, I think we are safer selectively carrying under circumstances were we are more likely to encounter a threat.

As others have said, training will help here. As I have said, you may need a gun even if you two are not the target, or at least not the initial target, of violence.

Take up a new hobby as a couple: IDPA shooting! Take training classes (Suarez, Gunsite, whatever), twice a year as part of a vacation. Bring the kids along while the grandkids are at summercamp! You want your kids to be able to protect your grandkids, right? It will be a bonding experience and a LOT more fun than sitting on some boring cruise. (Where you can't guarantee someone won't try to throw you overboard! )

Last, I encourage you to go thru the link in my Signature Line titled "215+ examples of CCWs Saving Lives." They're listed in chronological order. If there's one thing that you'll see is most CCW incidents are unforeseen. I especially like the examples of people in their 60s to 80s -- grandparents and even great grandparents -- using CCWs to best BGs!

[ACfixer]

I would also say the typical 55 year old will have a hard time reacting to the typical 19 year old attacker.

I'm 55 Babe, I don't think even bare handed I am an easy mark for a 19 year old or anyone else. And in the off chance that I am, well that's what the Glock is all about. If what you say is true about the typical 55 year old, well then encourage him not to be typical. Go to the gym and the range regularly, let someone else be the victim.

[XDJYo]

+1 on the training class as a vacation. The wife and I took a 4 day class in NV a few years back and it was one of the BEST vacations we've ever had!!! Some of it was basic, but it was just awesome.

Another point is look at what happened last week with the disgruntled worker. These things happen at any time, at any time and the scumbag took out other innocents.

The other thing is that you may not be facing a human attacker. Dogs can pose a deadly threat as well.

[SoldierLife7]

I have an issue with the "feel safer in a gated community" part.

I believe that this is a false sense of security. Unless there is a guard at the gate 24/7, it is extremely easy to wait for someone to drive in or out of the gate and then enter while the gate is still open. Even if there is a guard, most of them are easily tricked with the ol' "I'm trying to make a delivery to (insert address)...

In my opinion, a false sense of security is one of the quickest ways to get yourself into a bad situation.

For example, my mother lives in a rural area (in another state) and always felt safe leaving her car unlocked and often left the keys in the ignition. She always said that it was a great neighborhood and no-one would ever mess with her car. She has had TWO cars stolen out of her driveway. She no longer leaves her keys in the car.

Work with your husband to make good carry habits. If the firearm is unholstered, it goes in the safe (or in a place where it isn't accessible to kids). Habits are hard to break...make sure he practices good habits and it will become habitual. Redundant, I know...that's the point.

Best of luck.

In the words of Bob:

Be well
-Tim