Yes, religions can be about controlling people, and following religions will unfortunately lead (ultimately) to destruction. You may have sincerely followed whatever religion, but religion will always disappoint.
However, following Christ is NOT about following a religion. In fact, following a religion often gets in the way/prevents many folks from ever getting to know Christ personally and from actually following Him. He wants to be not only your Savior, Master, and Judge, but also your Friend. Unlike religion, Christ will not fail you. You may have been sincere in following a religion, but Christ never called us to follow a religion. He calls us to follow Him and get to know Him personally. To know Him, to trust Him, and to love Him.
At the present moment you unfortunately sound like one of the folks from Matthew 7:21-23 (NKJV) who have never known the Lord, though you have sincerely followed a religion,
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
By the way, we read in James of faith that does not save. You mentioned you believed until you began questioning. However, until you question, what is belief? Abraham questioned how God could command Him to sacrifice his son - the very son whom God gave him and of which He prophesied. Abraham, though, at this "crisis of faith" didn't stop believing, but rather really started to trust the Lord. He reasoned that God would raise his son from the dead, because Abraham trusted God even when things didn't appear to make sense. Read about it in Hebrews 11 and other passages. True faith trusts God.
You have known religion; now you need to come to know the Lord who loves you and gave Himself up to death to save you. It is not too late for you to begin following Christ and avoid the ultimate fate of those in the Matthew passage above.
However, following Christ is NOT about following a religion. In fact, following a religion often gets in the way/prevents many folks from ever getting to know Christ personally and from actually following Him. He wants to be not only your Savior, Master, and Judge, but also your Friend. Unlike religion, Christ will not fail you. You may have been sincere in following a religion, but Christ never called us to follow a religion. He calls us to follow Him and get to know Him personally. To know Him, to trust Him, and to love Him.
At the present moment you unfortunately sound like one of the folks from Matthew 7:21-23 (NKJV) who have never known the Lord, though you have sincerely followed a religion,
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
By the way, we read in James of faith that does not save. You mentioned you believed until you began questioning. However, until you question, what is belief? Abraham questioned how God could command Him to sacrifice his son - the very son whom God gave him and of which He prophesied. Abraham, though, at this "crisis of faith" didn't stop believing, but rather really started to trust the Lord. He reasoned that God would raise his son from the dead, because Abraham trusted God even when things didn't appear to make sense. Read about it in Hebrews 11 and other passages. True faith trusts God.
You have known religion; now you need to come to know the Lord who loves you and gave Himself up to death to save you. It is not too late for you to begin following Christ and avoid the ultimate fate of those in the Matthew passage above.


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