What can I do to help?

[9mmepiphany]

The problem is that Ittl still effect me even if I "cut her loose" she is in a room right next to my gfs room and the second hand smoke is getting in there which infuriates both of us to no end.

The simple answer, if it bothers you, is to leave. It only affects you if you choose to let it.

[ziconceo]

@APV cool, thanks

@CBR_rider 1) yes, i believe you are correct
2) how do I contact a narcotics team?

@anbu_yoshi yes, the troubled one is 14 and my gf is 17. and trust me, we are both leaving asap but im trying to find a solution that will work in the mean time.

@9mmepiphany Cant leave yet :/

[APV]

OP, my friend is on vacation out of the area for two weeks, so there is not much help of me. omgwtfbbq and jeremich12 seem to have the most relevant background to your question on this thread.

[RDT72]

If you have good information that illegal activity is occurring, you can always report it. That being said, you are never going to be able to remove all negative influences and opportunities for poor decision making from her life...

^Yes, all of this, AND some patrol officers will either take your intel about the suppliers or tell you to provide that information to one of their narcotics officers. They can give you a specific voicemail to the drug officer or route you towards an anonymous tip line. Either way call the number you're given and leave ALL the information there. That's it. by doing that you have done MUCH MORE than the average citizen to try to alleviate a community problem. I echo Samuex and will add YOU CAN'T FIX HER, YOU CAN'T TALK SENSE INTO HER FAMILY, YOU CAN'T SAVE HER FROM HERSELF AND HER OWN SELF-DESTRUCTION. If you're a religious man PRAY for her and her family, If you're not then I know how helpless these situations can feel. Only she and those in charge of her can truly re-route her life.

[Che762x39]

Im in a predicement and need help as I really don't know what to do. Here's the problem. My girlfriends sister (who is 14) is ...

I got two POVs being a policeman and a long time parent ...

It is not your problem. "It is what it is".

[Che762x39]

@APV so if i put a suppressor on my rifle and shot it in my backyard would that count as: "wild youngsters having fun?" just curious...

On Market Street or Bum Falls, Oregon?

I was driving a car at 12 but it was not on Lombard Street. Your have a perspective based on where you grew up and the morals of your parents and your friends. So YMMV YOLO

[ziconceo]

I got two POVs being a policeman and a long time parent ...

It is not your problem. "It is what it is".

It is my problem because my gf is around second hand smoke...

[9mmepiphany]

Just because you choose to treat it as your problem, doesn't make it your problem

[CityHunt3r]

^^ This

I could not get away with that garbage growing up. In the same sentiment, I would not put up with either. Time for some serious disciplining.

Spank your kids America, spank your kids!

Same situation with a past neighbor 14 year old with an 18 bf, kid threatens to call police if parents spank them,.... What to do what to do?


Put the fear in them at a young age so they don't drift far enough to think they can do whatever they want , they need to fear something, be it you or god.

And by the time they hit 14 or early teenage years you won't have to spank them anymore, they will listen without having to be spanked.

Not all kids require a spanking, just the stubborn ones.

[CityHunt3r]

She's 14 now, maybe an intervention with the people she is close to, family friends.... Just a suggestion and I was in some what a similar situation, sometimes they have to learn on their own, I got involved for a bit, even lost some friends over it. Good luck...

[Invisible_Dave]

Second hand smoke doesn't make it your problem to fix. While I fully understand the desire to be the white knight, people will only fix codependency on their own terms. A third party can't help that.

[ziconceo]

Listen people, I didn't start this thread to discuss whether its my problem or not. I started this thread so I could get advice on how to steer a teen away from drugs and alchohol. So keep the discussion on that please.

[-hanko]

Listen people, I didn't start this thread to discuss whether its my problem or not. I started this thread so I could get advice on how to steer a teen away from drugs and alchohol. So keep the discussion on that please.

YOU cannot keep gf's sister away from drugs and alcohol.

Nor can her sister, and the parents apparently don't care.

Sister needs to fix her own ****e...sometimes that happens quickly, other times never.

YOU and GF need to seek a 12-step program to help yourselves.

YOU have neither the training nor the experience to know wtf you're doing in this case, but you definitely need to take care of yourselves. Otherwise, GF's sister's activities will ruin your lives also.

Again, the ONLY person who can fix the issue is the 14 year old...cutting off her suppliers may work for a day or 2, but she'll find others.

Spend some time reading about the process of addiction, instead of trying to find a quick fix...there is NO such thing.

You might also check the concept of "tough love".

hth

-hanko, who used to do this stuff for a living.

ETA: Second hand smoke is the least of your worries...focus on GF's sister instead of the static.

[Tripper]

How old are you?

[Che762x39]

It is my problem because my gf is around second hand smoke...

It really is not your problem.

Look at the situation. The 14 is smoking just to pee her off and you guys are buying into it. Like a typical 14 she is just being a jerk kid. If you pay her no attention she will do something else stupid to get attention and rile you.

Check out Alateen, Al-Anon or AA websites. Because you are doing everything wrong but you think you are right and it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling.