What can I do to help?

[ziconceo]

Hello fellow calgunners. Im in a predicement and need help as I really don't know what to do. Here's the problem. My girlfriends sister (who is 14) is going out with so called "friends" getting drunk and doing drugs. I have some of the first and last names of the people who supply her with drugs and alchohol. Is there any way I can Get these scumbags in jail or something? Btw, her parents aren't doing anything about it because they don't know what do do, so if I can help get rid of the suppliers then the problem will be gone I think. And I really don't need trolls in this thread, I worry for her saftey a lot. Thankyou.

[Samuelx]

IMO, more than anything, the 14 year old needs to be straightened out...

[jdben92883]

Your "thinking" is wrong.

Hello fellow calgunners. Im in a predicement and need help as I really don't know what to do. Here's the problem. My girlfriends sister (who is 14) is going out with so called "friends" getting drunk and doing drugs. I have some of the first and last names of the people who supply her with drugs and alchohol. Is there any way I can Get these scumbags in jail or something? Btw, her parents aren't doing anything about it because they don't know what do do, so if I can help get rid of the suppliers then the problem will be gone I think. And I really don't need trolls in this thread, I worry for her saftey a lot. Thankyou.

[ziconceo]

Samuel, I agree. How how would you go about it?

[ziconceo]

Jdben, if anything its still sickning that these people are still out on the street selling illegal stuff and hurting people. And that is why I am looking for help

[Samuelx]

No cookie cutter answer. Maybe try to figure out Why she is doing what she is doing and go from there. Be ready for a bunch of worms to jump out...

[Samuelx]

Jdben, if anything its still sickning that these people are still out on the street selling illegal stuff and hurting people. And that is why I am looking for help

If you have good information that illegal activity is occurring, you can always report it. That being said, you are never going to be able to remove all negative influences and opportunities for poor decision making from her life...

[constable]

Samuel, I agree. How how would you go about it?

Parenting is a huge sacrifice... what are the parents willing to do to make sure the child is on the right path?

I like the positive/negative reinforcement method. You do good things.... good things come i.e. own bedroom, computer, internet, cell phone, car, go out w/friends etc.

You do bad things bad things come i.e. none of the above. You get food on the table, basic clothes, and a bed with clean sheets. None of the privledges listed, above only the bare necessities. IF the child likes sports, going out with friends, or anything unnecessary it gets taken away.

If the problem is the child leaves school, no one to account for them. Take a while off work and sit through school with them; (HUGE SACRIFICE).

14 is that age where physical discipline is generally not the answer (DONT BEAT YOUR KIDS THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE AND CHILD ABUSE DONT PUSH IT AND PUT YOUR FREEDOM IN JEOPARDY). They are small adults at this age, just some more mature than others.

What is your child's upbringing/future worth...

(Just a thought not a recommendation).

[naeco81]

You will never limit her access to supply effectively and will only distance yourself in attempts to do so. Tread carefully.

There are plenty of places online to get parenting advice on this subject. Generally I would suggest you worry less about the paraphernalia and worry more about things that will help her safety. If she legitimately believes she can call you for help, a ride, or someone to talk to when she is partying but feels unsafe that will be a pretty meaningful victory.

As much as you'd like to limit the choices she can make this is pretty much never effective. You need to help her make better decisions herself and that means treating her like a young adult; having a less authoritarian conversation than you probably want to have.

Good luck, I hope she stays safe!

[ziconceo]

I think some people have misunderstood me, she is my girlfriends sister. I'm not the father haha.Also, if no one reported these people then they would be every where. I believe it does make an impact if you get a couple people off the street. This one guy actually came up to my girlfriends parents house in his truck, picked her up (the 14 year old sister schedualed this) and she got in the truck with him. We then later found messages saying she was doing drugs and drinking with him. He is over 18, isn't giving drugs to someone 14 or younger a felony?

[Caddis]

Low level dope dealing is quite common these days. If you live in an area with dope problems your local PD probably won't be interested. Every county usually has a dope task force and you could get a hold of them but don't bother if you don't have addresses, lic plates, or names. Penalties for dealing dope is nothing nowadays thanks to the people who voted for Prop 36.

As far as the lifestyle of the 14 year-old. Good luck. Her parents are obviously not doing their job and other than an intervention by family and professionals, she will be a future customer of our tax dollars.

[9mmepiphany]

It isn't the suppliers or BF who is the problem. Even if they were removed, she would just find replacements.

There is an underlying family issue at play here that has caused her to make the decisions she is making. From your OP, there is likely a family dynamic you are unaware of. There are a number of County or church related services that her family can get in touch with if they want more informatioin

[ziconceo]

So my Gf just reported one of the guys that was dealing to her...he gave girls foodies and raped them. That is the kind of people she hangs out with...this is NOT low level dope dealing, its much more

[Jet Setter]

IMO, more than anything, the 14 year old needs to be straightened out...

^^ This

I could not get away with that garbage growing up. In the same sentiment, I would not put up with either. Time for some serious disciplining.

[Lifeon2whls]

^^ This

I could not get away with that garbage growing up. In the same sentiment, I would not put up with either. Time for some serious disciplining.

This. You dont seem to recognize that the problem is really with the sister and not with everyone else. I'm not saying they arent scum, but if she isn't straightened out you can remove the scum all you want but she'll simply find new ones...that is the person she is. For whatever reason she's broken and trying to remove these bad influences is like pouring an alcoholic's drink down the sink...sure they may not be able to finish that one but they'll find another.

Honestly, if the parents aren't willing to do anything then you and your girlfriend either need to be willing to step up and be her parents or try to get her help elsewhere.

Stop worrying about the boyfriends.