Awesome Come-Backs?

[PsychGuy274]

I was watching 'Speeders' today and think I heard one of the best cop come-backs of all time.

Violator: I didn't think you gave tickets to good looking girls.

Officer: You're right, we don't. Sign here.



Anyone else got a better one?

[ImYourPusherMan]

Oh dang. LOL Nice burn, indeed. !

[Jonathan Doe]

I gave a ticket to a girl who threw out thew cigarette butt over the open t-top. The cigarette butt hit my hood. She finally reluctantly signed the ticket after trying so hard to get out of the ticket. (Cigarette butt out the window is one of my pet peeves)

As she drove off, she yelled "Kiss my a**!!" So, being public service conscience, I yelled back, "Anytime! Let me now when!!"

[Ron-Solo]

A lady once I cited once was being really obnoxious and I'd had my fill of her attitude. When she said that she hoped I filled my quota for the day, i let my mouth operate before engaging my brain and replied, "I don't have any quotas, I can write as many tickets as I want. In fact, if i write one more today my wife gets a new toaster!"

Needless to say, it didn't make her happy and I got chewed out big time by the watch commander, which I deserved.

That was in my younger days..............

[Cokebottle]

A lady once I cited once was being really obnoxious and I'd had my fill of her attitude. When she said that she hoped I filled my quota for the day, i let my mouth operate before engaging my brain and replied, "I don't have any quotas, I can write as many tickets as I want. In fact, if i write one more today my wife gets a new toaster!"

Needless to say, it didn't make her happy and I got chewed out big time by the watch commander, which I deserved.

That was in my younger days..............

LOL!

You didn't by chance happen to pull over a '69 Buick LeSabre for tinted windows near the Cerritos Mall back around 1981... did you?


We asked for it.... Saw the SO car behind us, and both me and my girlfriend rolled the front windows down at the same time.
Lights came on, we stopped.
"So, your girlfriend got a little too hot for just the AC ehh?"
We all had a laugh while I signed the ticket.

[Ron-Solo]

LOL!

You didn't by chance happen to pull over a '69 Buick LeSabre for tinted windows near the Cerritos Mall back around 1981... did you?


We asked for it.... Saw the SO car behind us, and both me and my girlfriend rolled the front windows down at the same time.
Lights came on, we stopped.
"So, your girlfriend got a little too hot for just the AC ehh?"
We all had a laugh while I signed the ticket.

LMAO....Retired and I both worked Lakewood Station at that time and we both made a lot of car stops, but I don't remember that line. It's a good one.

[safewaysecurity]

In San Francisco at one of the busiest restaurants in North Beach at around 1:00 AM. Dude comes in wanting to buy a beer but none was being served. Started mouthing off to the guy behind the counter and yelled at him and flipped off the entire establishment and yelled "**** YOU" all of sudden as he turned around the biggest waiter at the restaurant ( 6 foot 5 350lbs ) came up with and asked " With a condom or without " the dude ran out as fast as he could.

[PsychGuy274]

In San Francisco at one of the busiest restaurants in North Beach at around 1:00 AM. Dude comes in wanting to buy a beer but none was being served. Started mouthing off to the guy behind the counter and yelled at him and flipped off the entire establishment and yelled "**** YOU" all of sudden as he turned around the biggest waiter at the restaurant ( 6 foot 5 350lbs ) came up with and asked " With a condom or without " the dude ran out as fast as he could.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

[fullrearview]

http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/showthread.php?t=336157

Post #3....

LOLZ!

Kinda funny/ kinda scary....

A guy I work with briefed me on Wednesday about this dude that went up HW 4 with a 53ft trailer, hauling 43k lbs of chocolate and ice cream......If any of you have ever been over hw4/Ebbets pass, you know how hairy it is for a small car, let alone a big rig.... especially through that section.

http://www.scenic4.org/secthree.html

http://maps.yahoo.com/#mvt=h&lat=38.583255&lon=-119.789029&zoom=18&q1=markleeville%2C%20ca

So, this truck is trying to shimmy around up here, has his kingpin all the way up, and decides to back down and try to turn around....As he is backing down, he realizes the banking of the road, the weight of the trailer, and angle of the truck are too much, so he stops and jits the air breaks.....well, the wieght is so much the truck is sliding back towards the cliff, the trailer is off the cliff, and and he realizes the truck is abotu to go off. Dude tries to oopen the door, but the tractor is already off the wheels, and is starting to jacknife towards the passeger side, so he is pushing the door upwards agains gravity...Dude realizes whats happening, grabs the mirror, kicks off the gear shift, falls nearly ten feet onto his back, and he watches the headlights of the truck go straight up in the air and over the cliff. Dude told my partner he didn't even hear the truck going down the cliff....Is about 400 ft. down!

If I can get the pics, I will post them.

Anyways, my partner gets a call for a truck stuck up there on the pass at Cadilac curve(a caddy went over about 20 yrs ago), he get up there and the driver is standing there with a small blanket in his arms....Partner says, wheres your truck? Dude points down the cliff....Partner says...You can't park there!

[Uhhlexxxis]

I quite frequently get the "how many more till you reach your quota?"

followed up by me stating "just a few more.. this time it's for that vacation in Hawaii with the kids.. Sign in the redbox. thank you Aloha "

[yzErnie]

The ones that come quickly to mind are not even PG rated!!!

[BigDogatPlay]

A tough guy in front of his friends says "Go **** yourself". Reply after a brief, thoughtful looking, pause... "Well that's not going to happen today".

Instant deflation.

I borrowed Sean Connery's line from The Untouchables more than a few times and it always worked well. When asked if I have anything better to do, the reply goes:

"Yeah, but I'm not doing it right now."

[eltee]

Citing a person of another race. Uncooperative, mouthy, angry. In front of posse. Yuppie type. Tries to impress his posse and diss me saying loudly, "I hate it when someone with limited education and a lack social conscience thinks he has a little power and has to show it off."

Comeback, "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. (pause) The ticket's only XXX dollars but if that's a financial hardship or if you're unemployed, the court may take that into consideration."

[PsychGuy274]

Citing a person of another race. Uncooperative, mouthy, angry. In front of posse. Yuppie type. Tries to impress his posse and diss me saying loudly, "I hate it when someone with limited education and a lack social conscience thinks he has a little power and has to show it off."

Comeback, "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. (pause) The ticket's only XXX dollars but if that's a financial hardship or if you're unemployed, the court may take that into consideration."

[Rob454]

I was talking to a buddy of mine who is is a LEO. He just found out that a girl he was seeing 5 years ago was pregnant had the kid the kid was 5 YO and she wanted child support.
It was me him and a few of his LEO buddies and he kept saying i cant believe this i only had sex with her twice.
Couldnt resist so i said

yes brad but you're not supposed to use the condom, turn it around and reusing it again. he almost fell off my jet ski that he was sitting on cause he was laughing so hard.


The other one I heard i was with a buddy in his car he was speeding. Got pulled over and my buddy said the obvious don't you have anything better to do? Are you gonna fill your quota with this ticket?

Cop.
Yes I will fill my quota and Ill get a free washer and dryer. but I'm not finished with the violations on your vehicle so I'm gonna have my watch commander come and write the rest of the violations. he is ready for his flat screen tv. I nearly peed my pants laughing at my buddy.