Deployment Question

[thebloodsonthewall]

I am currently in Iraq. I have been here about three and half months and as far as I know we are going to be here a year. I am married and my wife is pregnant with out first child.

We had some problems earlier this year and things were really bad for awhile. She tried to cheat on me and all kinds of things went wrong. We worked everything out and everything was good for awhile. Everything is still good I guess.

One of her friends who is also married hangs out with these couple guys all the time. My wife hangs out with that friend often so she is always with those couple guys. I don't think she needs to be hanging out with one girl and two guys. In my mind, she is married and doesn't need to hang out with guys. We have been arguing over this for about a week now. It is almost all we talk about. I know she isn't cheating on my but I am still not comfortable with it.

What would you guys do in this situation?

[stphnman20]

Everyone that goes there that is married, goes through what your going through now.

My ex wife cheated on me while I was there in 03. My baby momma cheated while I was there in 07.

Not much you can do about it while being there. Just focus on your mission and try not to think about it.

[thebloodsonthewall]

Everyone that goes there that is married, goes through what your going through now.

My ex wife cheated on me while I was there in 03. My baby momma cheated while I was there in 07.

Not much you can do about it while being there. Just focus on your mission and try not to think about it.

That's exactly what I am doing. I am trying to work things out and make it work but as soon as I leave my room it leaves my head.

Sorry to hear about your post women. Seems like everyone has at least one story like that.

[capo]

She tried to cheat on me and all kinds of things went wrong.

Red flag. But, if she did not cross the line, there is still hope. My suggestion...stop bringing it up every time you talk, that will do nothing but push her away. If you want to keep her, and want her to be faithful, draw her in closer. Keep up those conversations, and forgetaboutit...

[coyote43g]

Its an unfortunate predicament, it happens to everyone including myself. My last pump to Iraq back in 08, my wife left me for a corpsman. There is not much you can do from where you are at. If she is going to cheat, she will cheat. Deployments are a test of true commitment when it comes to a relationship. If she can't stand you being gone for a year or so then she does not deserve you for a life time. You can talk to her as much as you want, and I want you to. Encourage her that the year will go by quick and you will be home soon. I truly do hope that you two work it out. Don't be a statistic amongst us.

[ir0nclash86]

Here's one thing you can do. Open up a new bank account and wire transfer all your money into it. I've seen guys get cheated on then their wife cleaned out his bank account and put him in debt. Might want to change your life insurance if its all going to her.

Edit: only do this if you have positive confirmation that she is cheating or all evidence strongly supports the idea of her cheating.

[chris]

Here's one thing you can do. Open up a new bank account and wire transfer all your money into it. I've seen guys get cheated on then their wife cleaned out his bank account and put him in debt. Might want to change your life insurance if its all going to her.

Edit: only do this if you have positive confirmation that she is cheating or all evidence strongly supports the idea of her cheating.

do this ^^^^^^^^^^

file for divorce if you feel it is needed. this happens alot on deployments. it sucks because you can't do squat about it.

[11Z50]

Change your bank account, talk to the JAG and get it going. Sooner is better. You can always ease up if she is righteous, but protect yourself.

[famas619]

Watch yourself, i agree on the bank account thing. I went through a similar run and now im a single father. I know its hard but like mentiond before, just watch your funds and focus on mission. I would talk to jag.

[PyroFox79]

My girl cheated on my in Iraq. I had the luxury of not being married but just ditch the b*tch. No offense but how you know the kid is yours. just a thought

[The Director]

I am currently in Iraq. I have been here about three and half months and as far as I know we are going to be here a year. I am married and my wife is pregnant with out first child.

We had some problems earlier this year and things were really bad for awhile. She tried to cheat on me and all kinds of things went wrong. We worked everything out and everything was good for awhile. Everything is still good I guess.

One of her friends who is also married hangs out with these couple guys all the time. My wife hangs out with that friend often so she is always with those couple guys. I don't think she needs to be hanging out with one girl and two guys. In my mind, she is married and doesn't need to hang out with guys. We have been arguing over this for about a week now. It is almost all we talk about. I know she isn't cheating on my but I am still not comfortable with it.

What would you guys do in this situation?

Dude, I have no advice for you. I just wanted to drop in and say I feel your pain, and I can't imagine the sacrifice you're making right now. That would be a fear of mine as well - probably every guy.

She doesn't deserve you bro, and I'm sorry you had to go through this.

[leocrrnz]

All I can say is never end a conversation with an argument and you either trust her or you don't. I definately agree with what everybody else is recommending and secure your finances. Good luck with everything hope it all works out.

[Lost]

BTDT

Set up a new bank account and change your direct deposit, find a new beneficiary (I am available ).

File for Divorce.

Pay her half your BAH + a little extra for bills so you don't get screwed by the military.

Skull fck Jody later.

[Boone]

Setup a new bank account THAT SHE WON'T HAVE ACCESS TOO. Just wanted to make that clear, then get rid of her.

[racky]

my got divorced in '02 when i got stationed in korea. similar reasons u have. if your gut says she's cheating, she's cheating; leave her. if she has already cheated on you; leave her. once a cheat, always a cheat. this isn't highschool anymore.