Zombie Defense Plan

[b.faust]

My Zombie Plan.

Stage One : Fight my way to the nearest bar.

Stage Two : Search for the most flammable liquor I can find.

Stage Three : Drink it.

Stage Four : See Stage Two.


Actually I think that covers it for pretty much all my apocalyptic scenarios.

[BlackViper]

I think step 1 has to be zombie identification to determine the flavor of zombie you're dealing with... are these super-dumb "night of the living dead" zombies that just sorta lumber around, or are these "I Am Legend" zombies that are fast as hell. Also, are they nocturnal-only or are they able to rumble around in the day time like the Resident Evil versions. Do they just go for your brains or do they munch on any part of you?

Only after you've characterized the threat can you implement the proper response

[epic4444]

when the zombies come...and they will come...even tho well all be screwed im still taking as many as i can out first..probably start off shooting them til i run out of ammo..then my car will become the weapon cuz lord knows i wanna run me over some zombies

[Bizcuits]

Board up the windows and doors with the extra lumber I have in the garage.

Load up the 4x4 in the garage with supplies.

Then hide and enjoy the evening news on my hand crank radio.

If they start surrounding the house or break in, go onto the roof, turn the radio to some good ole country music and enjoy the fruits of my Walmart ammo hoarding.

[twoyellowlabs]

I think Costco is definitely the better option. The last time I was at Mal-Wart, it was filled with zombies (at least the employees were moving like the un-dead) I really like the idea of heading to the airport and jacking a plane. OC has a nicely restored B-29 that I am sure can hold at least 20 heavily armed guys. Anybody know how to fly a classic?

[Bizcuits]

I think Costco is definitely the better option. The last time I was at Mal-Wart, it was filled with zombies (at least the employees were moving like the un-dead) I really like the idea of heading to the airport and jacking a plane. OC has a nicely restored B-29 that I am sure can hold at least 20 heavily armed guys. Anybody know how to fly a classic?

I don't know if I like your plan, it lacks women.

[oops]

20 heavily armed women would be a cluster f**k one week a month... I'll take my chances with the undead

[twoyellowlabs]

Hmmmmmm, good call. Let's just say that the wife was trimming the hedges or night gardening and didn't survive the first wave. I hope the B-29 has enough fuel to get to the big Island. Good hunting there and I am pretty sure zombies don't like volcanoes. It would be tough but I am sure I could start again.

[arrowestimating.com]

Not to thread jack but we might as well by Virtua Cop the standup arcade game and keep in practice! I found it for like $1500

http://www.thepinballcompany.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=47

[Steyr_223]

What not to do against Zombies!

http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_of_Yonkers

In World War Z, the Battle of Yonkers was the United States Military's first large scale, official engagement of the Zombie Wars. It took place in Yonkers, New York, a suburb of New York City (just north of the Bronx). The battle was an absolute catastrophe.

The Battle

Elements of the United States Army were deployed along the Saw Mill River Parkway in North Yonkers. While the parkway served as a natural choke point (as well as the only intelligent tactic that military leadership employed, as described by a surviving vet), it made no difference in the final result. Utilizing antiquated tactics dating back to the Cold War, positions were prepared in such ways as digging tank emplacements, building barriers out of sandbags, and in foxholes. The zombie horde from the city was lured into the choke point by the handful of refugees still fleeing towards the army's position, and due to the chain swarm effect, gradually the entire New York City infestation, numbering in the millions, was headed towards Yonkers.

When "Zack" first began to trickle down the freeway, the opening salvos were fired - two MLRS rocket barrages which did destroy a significant percentage of the first wave. As the undead became more tightly packed, the MLRS lost effectiveness, with the thick swarms of zombies reducing the possibility of a head wound. The second barrage came from M109 Paladin artillery stationed on a hill to the rear of the infantry. They fired fragmentation shells which had even less of an effect than the MLRS barrages. The artillery strikes depended on the "balloon effect," which by proximity to an explosion would cause the liquid in the victim's body to burst. This did not occur, however, because of the zombie's coagulated blood. Therefore, SNT (Sudden Nerve Trauma), which "just shuts down vital organs like God flickin' a light switch," did not happen either.[1]

After this, the infantry, armor and air support opened fire on the "river of undead". Firing on the zombies were the full military might of the United States Army: M1 Abrams tanks, M2 Bradleys, Humvees, mortars and several RAH-66 Comanche helicopters. All of these held sustained fire for a time in what was likened to "a meatgrinder, or a wood chipper..."[2] until the anti-personnel ammunition ran out. In fact, little of it had even been provided for the tanks. The armor and helicopters then switched over to Anti-Tank rounds like HEAT or Sabot shells which had little to no effect on the swelling tide of undead.

The infantry were left fighting the undead in close proximity, and there were even zombies locked in the houses behind the front line of infantry that had been freed by the explosions. Other soldiers could see everything, through the weapon mounted cameras of the front-line soldiers (thanks to the Land Warrior system); the hordes closing in, their fellow soldiers falling and being eaten alive and even reports of zombies not dying when being shot in the head (this was however noted to have happened because the rounds grazed their heads; this would be recognized as a common sight only in later battles). F-35 fighter jets launched AGM-154 Joint Standoff Weapon, dropping hundreds of thousands of explosive devices.

The bombing run decimated the oncoming wave and resulted in a few moments of eerie silence as the dazed and confused soldiers recovered from the shock of the nearby explosions. However, soon even more zombies shuffled up the road to take their place. At that point the battle turned into utter chaos, as the soldiers on the ground saw an oncoming wave of millions more zombies emerging from the smoke clouds from the bombs that had taken out the first several thousand. Satellite images from the Land Warrior system still showed a horde of millions of zombies stretching back into Times Square on Manhattan island. In a notable act of desperation, Waino recounts that one helicopter gunship bravely tried to buy time for infantry on the ground to retreat by flying low towards the zombie horde with its rotary blades tipped forward; this sliced through many zombies and slowed their advance for 2 or 3 precious minutes, but then one of the helicopter's blades hit a wrecked car, causing it to crash and explode.

News crews clambered over one another to get away from the coming onslaught and military personnel sought refuge anywhere they could from the zombies. There was crazy, random shooting from soldiers and armed newsmen in a blind panic. Waino recounts being knock over by a round he took in the chest (the only use for the body armor that day), only to have some idiot lobb a flashbang grenade right in his face. The Air Force dropped several thermobaric weapons on the zombies and their own troops hoping to neutralize the undead at Yonkers in one sweep (which had the grusome side-effect of ripping lungs out of individuals not destroyed by the initial blast, leaving numerous ghouls wandering around with their lungs hanging out of their mouths). It accomplished its purpose of destroying the majority of zombies from that battle but many more still poured in from Manhattan, overpowering the American forces and proving, to devastating effect, that the war with the undead could not be won with conventional tactics. Within 2 weeks after Yonkers, the eastern United States was abandoned by the United States military in a mass retreat to a new defensive line at the Rocky Mountains.

What went wrong

The Battle of Yonkers was an unmitigated disaster for the military. Public confidence in them and the United States Government was shattered, and this contributed heavily to the Great Panic and claimed the lives of many more Americans.

[Steyr_223]

Tactics

The tactics used by the army dated back to plans against the Soviet Union during the Cold War. After years of fighting brushfire wars, the "Fulda ****tards" (sic) who had come of age during the Cold War were overjoyed to have an opportunity to fight a conventional battle and completely ignored the new, untested nature of the undead enemy. Instead of placing infantry in positions of overwatch and in elevated areas with excellent lines of fire, the soldiers were forced to fight on the ground and were quickly overrun. The higher-ups failed to prepare for what was essentially a human wave attack, and should have had fewer men on the ground and more indirect fire units. The soldiers were also outfitted with "Land Warrior" gear which, amongst other things, provided each soldier with a radar readout of the surrounding area for miles around. This included the hordes of zombies that started coming soon after the battle began. Seeing the thousands of zombies, many soldiers lost their cool and would use the Land Warrior communication up link (this allowed each soldier to share communications) to share frantic shouts and hurried claims once they started being overrun. The soldiers used foxholes, of all things, as part of what the commanders said was a "concealment" technique (designed only for enemies that fired weapons), but popular consensus is that all the fancy equipment, foxholes and everything else was to put on to show the American people the high-tech prowess of the US military over the zombies.

Another problem was that the military instruction that these soldiers had been undergoing for years had trained them to shoot at a target's center of mass (torso, because it is the most difficult to miss), and although the soldiers at Yonkers had been informed that the only way to kill a zombie was with a head shot, they had little experience with doing so and could not easily switch to aiming at a new smaller target.
[edit] Equipment

The soldiers were ordered to wear protective MOPP gear, (used in case of chemical or biological warfare) which greatly impairs one's ability to fight by restricting eyesight, range of motion and respiration. Waino firmly believed that putting the infantry in MOPP gear was totally unnecessary and done purely as part of the gigantic propaganda tool that Yonkers was supposed to be; re instilling morale and confidence in the government's control of the situation by showcasing all of the military's newest and most high-tech technologies (i.e. deploying several technological cutting-edge anti-vehicle tanks and weapons, even though these would be next to useless against zombies). Bulky MOPP gear made it incredibly difficult simply to reload infantry rifles, and ammunition was also in short supply as they had not accurately gauged how much shooting would be required (few of the standard infantry were expected to even actually shoot, just during mopping-up work after the artillery barrage finished off most of the zombies, but instead they all found themselves fighting for their lives). In addition, the soldiers had been made to spend an entire hot August day (one of the warmest on record) digging fox holes and entrenchments while wearing the MOPP gear, pushing them near to exhaustion. The entrenchments and foxholes were ment to provide "Stealth and Cover", when the whole point was to draw the enemy toward the firing line (negating the need for stealth), and an enemy that didn't even use weapons (negating the need for cover). Waino's most convincing point about the MOPP gear being unnecessary and "for show" is that military officers and civilian reporters walking around along the defensive line were in no way required to wear protective gear of any kind, and had the military seriously thought the zombie virus might be airborne (which it is not) they would have required command officers and news crews to wear them as well.

A good deal of the equipment was there for no other reason than to just "look pretty". There were radar and comm jamming equipment; a pantoon-bridge layer system "perfect for the 3-in. deep creek running alone the parkway"; and a whole F.O.L. Family of Latrines placed right in the center of the foward command center dispite the fact that all the plumbing in all the surrounding buildings and houses was still running.

The Land Warrior system, which effectively connected each soldier to every other by use of video cameras, proved a fatal mistake: morale disintegrated soon after soldiers watched their brothers-in-arms being eaten alive. It also showed soldiers live satellite camera feeds showing the entire miles-long horde of several million zombies pouring out of New York City towards them, making it difficult to focus on fighting the ones immediately facing them when faced with the full magnitude of the zombie horde.

The conventional anti-tank ordnance was also useless against an army of zombies, as many of the depleted uranium rounds had no effect but to fly straight through the undead and pass harmlessly to the rear of the advancing mass. The men in charge of the battle failed to properly equip their forces for anti-infantry operations; from the outset, anti-tank weaponry should have been discarded, and AFVs loaded with HEI-T (High Explosive Incendiary, Tracer) rounds. The old guard of the US military command had relied too much on their own technological superiority, not adapting to the zombie threat, or as one pilot later put it "who needs a stealth jet against an infantry-based enemy that doesn't have radar?".

One of the greatest ironies of the battle is that even if the military commanders had thought that M1 Abrams tanks firing anti-vehicle weapons were useful against the infantry-based Undead, they simply did not supply enough ammunition for them to shoot. Even if the anti-tank rounds the forces at Yonkers were supplied with were effective against zombies (which they aren't), they quickly ran out. The counter-argument for this is that due to the poor state of the US economy it was difficult to produce that much ammunition. Nonetheless, the US military command grossly underestimated how much ammunition they needed, and it was short-sighted to put soldiers into harms way with "the army you have" rather than waiting to be fully supplied. Even if the military commanders sent soldiers into the battle without enough ammunition, recognizing that they were under-supplied but simply had no choice because the zombies were taking over, in no way should they have walked into the battle hyping it to the media as a "decisive victory" that would wipe out the zombies.

[Nanook]

First off, the creatures in I Am Legend were more like vampires, which are a whole 'nother can of worms.

And no one has taken in to consideration the sound issue. Noise attracts them, so anyone in a higher population area would be well advised to try and keep the noise down after the pandemonium has subsided. I wonder if my .22 CO2 air rifle could pierce a skull? (looks it up) Hmmm. 600 fps. Don't think so...

Oh well, I reckon I'd get on the roof and go plinkin'. And judging by some of the responses here, looks like I need to get a lot more mags.

[arrowestimating.com]

Sounds like we need to write a script about this! A movie based on gun toting americans and how they battle the undead in their own way!

We'll call it "American Undead" No?

[epic4444]

20 heavily armed women would be a cluster f**k one week a month... I'll take my chances with the undead

hahahahaha you and me both

[stormy_clothing]

um why would you shoot at millions of undead when you could napalm the **** out of them, then drive over them in your tanks or vice versa