Things I Learned From Calguns

[7x57]

A long time ago I started making a list of things I learned while reading Calguns, and it just kept growing. I have taken great care to ensure that there is no extrapolation, exaggeration, fabrication, intentional misreading, or outright distortion in this list, because that would be wrong. However, I want to stress the level of my commitment to accuracy and fairness by stating up front that I'll be happy to retract the list if every single item is shown to have no basis in fact whatsoever. :-)

Naturally the mods should make this a sticky so newbies can get up to speed as rapidly as possible. :-)


The Great Big List Of Things I Learned From Reading Calguns (part 1)

1. I need guns. Lots of guns.
   
   
2. Calguns is addictive.
   
   
3. Buy more guns.
   
   
4. My work is unimportant. I must read calguns on company time or I'll miss something time-critical, such as a report on a lawsuit that doesn't personally affect me and that has been in court for six years and counting so far.
   
   
5. In fact, Calguns is more addictive than crack cocaine, methadone, and nicotine.
   
   
6. Everyone needs a black rifle. Several. Buy three (changed after the election) thirty-seven now.
   
   
7. Buy more guns. But also read Calguns instead of doing the work that would earn me the money to buy more guns.
   
   
8. The most common danger faced by ordinary Californians is Zombie attack. The most probable natural disaster is a Zombie Apocalypse.
   
   
9. Calgunners are divided over the ideal Zombie-killing weapon: some maximize the kinetic energy of each round and recommend battle rifles such as M1s, M14s, and FALs, other maximize rate of fire and prefer carbines such as ARs and AKs. A few maximize number of projectiles per shot and prefer shotguns. A few maximize handiness and minimize recoil and prefer very light cartridges such as the M1 carbine. The only real consensus is for semi-autos; however, many keep manual action repeaters as backup for the long fight in the ruins of civilization when keeping an autoloader clean, lubed, and operational is increasingly difficult.
   
   
10. Which type of firearm (battle rifle, carbine, shotgun) is ideal depends on the type of zombies encountered. Many study The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, but others prefer different sources such as film. Those who expect zombies that can only be stopped by head shots will generally opt for carbine rounds, large magazine capacities, and high rates of fire. Those anticipating zombies that must be destroyed by wholesale damage gravitate toward shotguns and battle rifles.
    
    
11. The only way to be prepared for whatever type of zombies I encounter is to have several specimens of all four types close at hand at all times, at least loaded and ready beside my chair if my lap isn't big enough to cradle them while I work read Calguns.
    
    
12. It's totally normal to cradle one or more guns in my lap while reading Calguns.
    
    
13. If those guns are especially lonely or suffering from the existential angst that only an inanimate object can suffer, cuddling is the only cure. Guns just want to be loved.
    
    
14. Guns are like tribbles--they give us love and reproduce unendingly.
    
    
15. All we are sayin' is "give guns a chance."
    
    
16. In a legal environment in which legal force is only justified for a reasonable fear of immediate danger, the ideal self-defense round is one with an effective range exceeding 1000 meters.
    
    
17. The best rifle for this round is one that only survived a decade as the US issue rifle and breaks expensive parts if fed anything but the original military loading.
    
    
18. Though a good alternative is one with the same fragile operating rod and a fixed magazine. The best way to take down a zombie is with a little living history! Historical romanticism is the most effective weapon of all.
    
    
19. Speaking of that rifle, the little "ping" of an ejected en-bloc clip is louder in the ears of scared, pumped-up enemy soldiers a hundred meters away than the muzzle blast of their own weapons. Over the sound of artillery and batlefield chaos. I read it on a gun board, it must be true!
    
    
20. In a legal environment where no lethal force is justified unless almost any level is justified, and where unlike the military you will probably only fire one or two shots at point-blank range that must stop your attacker, the ideal self-defense round is a small-caliber carbine round that many in the military have found inadequate in fully automatic weapons.
    
    
21. The most reliable rifle for this round is one that directs dirty combustion products as far as possible into the gun's overly delicate and precise mechanism. Direct impingement was the best way to save a couple of bucks a rifle in order to win lowest-builder military contracts and squeeze out a fraction of a minute more of accuracy, and it's the best way to save my life too!
    
    
22. In a legal environment where I must expect to be assaulted a second time in court, and DA's and juries alike judge weapons and their users based on appearance, movies, and prejudice, the ideal self-defense round is one universally associated with communists, third-world dictatorships, and terrorists. As a bonus, while ammo is cheap it is all FMJ.
    
    
23. The ideal rifle for this round is one with all the accuracy inherent in a design slightly less sophisticated than stone knives and bearskins; accuracy is a sensible tradeoff for the fabled reliability since my rifle will typically be uncleaned and covered in mud, insects, and filth when confronting looters in my own home.
    
    
24. The jury will understand any unintended casualties coming from the indifferent accuracy, or appearing to come from the indifferent accuracy. They'd never assume I was recklessly spraying bullets all over all creation, in spite of the fact that this is the weapon most associated in the public mind with "spray and pray" tactics.
    
    
25. They'd never believe I was spraying bullets just because the prosecutor led the jury to believe it is an automatic carbine like the identical-looking ones they see on TV.
    
    
26. Nor will it be a problem that this rifle is instantly recognizable even to
27. the layman, and the most iconically evil rifle ever created as far as any jury is concerned.
    
    
28. An even more ideal rifle would be one designed for those not educated enough to use the above rifle, with all the above advantages plus a fixed magazine! But hey, my life is worth saving a few hundred bucks.
    
    
29. Shooting the absolute ideal SHTF round is worth it even if I am the only person on the West coast who possesses brass for it. I'll never lose brass in a firefight anyway.
    
    
30. The most advanced hollow-point expanding ammo is insufficient to stop an attacker.
    
    
31. But never the less, "they all fall to hardball." It's a good idea to tie my hands with inferior "humane" ammo even though I personally am not a signatory to the Geneva convention (let alone the Hague convention that--unlike the Geneva convention--actually does address acceptable military munitions, but no one remembers that). After all, professional users not tied to the Hague prohibitions such as the police rely on non-expanding ammo to stop killers and PCP addicts. Right? Don't they?
    
    
32. The terminal ballistics of modern hollowpoint 9mm bullets are utterly inadequate, as proven by the military's experience with hardball more than half a century ago.
    
    
33. The terminal ballistics of modern hollowpoint .45 ACP bullets are inferior to 9mm, as proven by comparing one-shot stopping data for 9mm hollowpoints to .45 hardball.
    
    
34. .22 rimfire is also great for self-defense. Anyone who says it is a bad stopping round is just ignoring all the data that indicates the great lethality of rimfire ammo. Stopping probability and kill probability are exactly proportional, right? Right? Uh, guys, right?
    
    
35. After zombies, the next most likely threat is a cell of Al-Qaida terrorists invading my private home.
    
    
36. Or perhaps Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi invading my private home.
    
    
37. Either way, I need more guns.
    
    
38. All these guns, and I can't buy ammo? I need more ammo!
    
    
39. Doesn't everyone have a loaded weapon cached in every room in their house?
    
    
40. Juries are unlikely to buy my story about justifiable homicide with an ordinary handgun, but nevertheless will be impressed by my restraint and judgement if I hack an intruder to pieces with one of the thirteen fantasy-shaped swords that I should keep on my walls for just such an emergency. Guards shaped like dragon wings and grips shaped like naked women will no doubt greatly impress the jury that I am a righteous and upstanding member of the community.
    
    
41. As will t-shirts with a headshot smiley-face. If arrested I'll wear one every day to my trial!
    
    
42. If I am forced to defend myself with lethal force, the best way to convince the jury that it was a righteous shoot is to put a gun or knife in the perp's hand and otherwise falsify evidence at the scene. Police never use advanced forensics.
    
    
43. Juries are never hostile to someone caught lying anyway, so what is the harm in trying?
    
    
44. Similarly, if I am forced to commit justifiable homicide in my yard I should drag the body into my house. Not even the most painstaking analysis would notice the kind of obvious, probably bloody drag marks this would inevitably produce!
    
    
45. Birdshot penetrates enough.
    
    
46. Slugs don't penetrate too much.
    
    
47. Since statistically I'll only get one or two shots, it's sane to craft complex shotgun load-outs with the lowest-powered loadings first in the magazine (hat tip to rabagley, who is a pretty good sport).
    

7x57

[7x57]

The Great Big List Of Things I Learned From Reading Calguns (part 2)

1. Since no force at all is justified unless deadly force is justified, and since someone not safe with normal ammunition will be safe with quirky ammo, it is sane to tell beginners to use salt or other legendary homemade, sub-lethal shotgun rounds. Beginners who know nada about reloading to boot.
   
   
2. Since split seconds count and I can only expect one or two shots to decide the encounter, it's sane to try shooting a bad guy with a .22 before taking the time to drop it and pick up the shotgun [[editor's note: this is actual advice found on Calguns, we swear we are not making this up]]. Juries will be impressed with my minimizing the potential for stopping my opponent and maximizing the chances that I'll have to fill him full of little holes that will kill him later. It's even more sane to risk death because of the additional time he has to return fire while I'm screwing around with the rimfire stuff.
   
   
3. In any natural disaster, I am more likely to need ammo than food, water, or warm clothing. Lots of ammo. Crates of ammo. You have *no idea* how much ammo I'm going to need. It's more important to buy my eleventh weapon or fiftieth crate of ammo than to invest in potable water storage, food, or basic first-aid and medical supplies.
   
   
4. Mostly because I plan to just use my weapons to steal food. There will be no consequences after order is restored--all laws are suspended during civil unrest and crime is free!
   
   
5. Even though in ordinary circumstances I believe that the possibility that a victim might be armed deters criminals and often argue against gun control on that basis, I personally will not be deterred by the possibility that better-prepared survivors might just be armed themselves. I believe other survivors will be smart enough to stockpile supplies but too stupid to buy a gun themselves.
   
   
6. In any emergency, carrying a long gun on the street will be a socially acceptable thing to do.
   
   
7. Even if it's not, I'm better off taking my chances leaving home with an AK over my shoulder, a pouch of extra mags, and a couple of bandoliers of ammo than an illegally but carefully concealed handgun. My terrified, ill-prepared neighbors will be impressed by my foresight and welcome the additional protection my presence provides.
   
   
8. So will the scared, overworked, exhausted police, who will be grateful to see another brother-in-arms. I'll wave my gun in their direction so they know I have my area covered!
   
   
9. After the emergency is over, no one will try to prosecute me later for re-configuring my off-list rifles to unregistered CA assault-weapons for the duration of the emergency. Certainly not California anti-gun DAs. They'll "see the light" when things go bad, just as law enforcement did in New Orleans after Katrina.
   
   
10. This is in spite of the fact that before the emergency all LEOs and DAs were conspiring to prosecute me for possessing perfectly legal firearms at every possible opportunity. I know this because I read it on an internet gun board...
    
    
11. ...so I reposted it on every other gun board I know of. Information wants to be free!
    
    
12. Everything happens in two weeks.
    
    
13. Buy more guns.
    
    
14. More ammo too!!!
    
    
15. And reloading components!
    
    
16. The most practical personal defense weapons for the brand-new shooter: AR with 15lbs and $2500 of tacticool accessories, WWII-era Browning BAR, any sword as long as it has a generally Japanese appearance, scandium-framed revolver in .500 S&W, stockless 12-gauge cruiser loaded with 3.5" magnum birdshot shells, .50 BMG rifle, Krinker Plinker.
    
    
17. 1911's are the best handguns ever, but never successfully feed more than one in three rounds.
    
    
18. Glocks suck, but have never ever failed, even during initial product development or after having every empty cavity in the gun filled with quick-setting concrete.
    
    
19. Dogs, especially German Shepherds, can easily be trained to operate miniguns and other fixed-mount weapons.
    
    
20. It is a sane and safe thing to do to train dogs to operate miniguns and other fixed-mount weapons.
    
    
21. CLP cleans everything! Try it as a dentifrice. If you shampoo with it, the "L" part means you won't need conditioner afterwards, and the "P" means it makes a dandy sunscreen.
    
    
22. BTW, cleaning chemicals are guaranteed girl-getting colognes; Hoppe's #9 with formal wear, Butch's Bore Shine with casual.
    
    
23. If I don't currently have a handgun in the 10-day waiting period, I am not buying enough pistols!
    
    
24. AR magazines are incredibly fragile and break just sitting in a safe, thus explaining the tremendous market for repair kits.
    
    
25. Once-a-year deer hunters should definitely reload. With a progressive press.
    
    
26. The price of Lee products has absolutely no bearing on their quality or longevity.
    
    
27. On the other hand, the only reloading presses worth using are those made by Dillon. All the others are made of zinc alloyed with C4 and actually explode when used. Every reloader in the world needs to be warned of this, repeatedly. Ad infinitum. Really loud.
    
    
28. Beginners should start reloading with a Dillon 1050, if they absolutely positively cannot afford a power-driven unit.
    
    
29. If my wife/girlfriend objects to my $1000/mo. gun addiction, I can make her happier by buying her an additional $1000/mo. worth of guns.
    
    
30. All girls will like to shoot as much as I do, if only I find the right gun to get her started. I should just keep buying until I find the right one; she'll be delighted that I care enough to try!
    
    
31. She'll be even more inclined to share my hobby if the kitchen table is covered with reloading supplies and smells like CLP and Hoppes' for weeks at a time. (OK, this is more of a personal discovery than something I learned on Calguns, but I'm sure it's in the archives somewhere.)
    
    
32. Ditto if I constantly badger her family about the RKBA and shooting, even if the last weapon any of their peaceful vegetarian ancestors used was an atl-atl. Which they ended up spearing themselves in the foot with even then.
    
    
33. Girls and other small-framed individuals don't like heavy guns. Try starting with either the scandium-frame .500 S&W already mentioned, or possibly a nice bolt-action .378 Weatherby in some ultralight configuration. Five pounds and a 20" barrel is about right for .378 Weatherby. Be sure to cut the stock too short and buy a scope with minimum eye relief, smaller-framed people need to hunch real close.
    
    
34. She'll enjoy my hobby more if her first firearms experience involves humiliation with a totally inappropriate weapon in front of my range buddies. I should let her shoot my "special" bear-defense .454 loads while everyone watches her first shot. It's all good clean fun!
    
    
35. I should post a video of the above humiliation on YouTube. Girls don't notice social signals or exclusionary rituals anyway.
    
    
36. Make sure her gun is pink--girls love pink guns. Especially the kind of girls that like to shoot as much as I do.
    
    
37. She'll also like it better if I only give her the pink guns in front of my buddies.
    
    
38. Try a "Hello Kitty" theme, adult women love Hello Kitty almost as much as they like to be assumed to like Hello Kitty.
    
    
39. But if I actually have a wife who likes "hello kitty," a Mosin with a terrifying-looking 13' bayonet and painted blood on the blade or an AR with a print of Rodin's "The Gates of Hell" on the stock labeled "Take a good look at where you're going, M-----F----" would be a better introduction to the safe, responsible world of gun ownership.
    
    
40. Choose her first range carefully--a place way out in the lonely desert well-populated by skinheads, tattoos, leather, and beer would make for the most comfortable first experience. Laugh and wink at the good clean fun when they leer and ask if she wants to "check out my 30-round magazine" so she knows I'm "one of the boys" and don't need to prove my manhood by defending her in this godforsaken place I've taken her.
    
    
41. She never understood me anyway, the insensitive b***. She didn't even understand when I explained it to her--in those exact words.
    
    
42. Now that I'm unaccountably single again, I can buy more guns.
    
    
43. At least, I could if I hadn't scared her so bad she got a restraining order so that now I can't legally own guns.
    
    
44. Speaking of the police, never answer the door holding a gun!
    
    
45. But if I do, and I aim it at the cops on the other side, and I don't put it down when they order me to, and then they shoot me, it is their fault. The responsibility to do otherwise is definitely not something that comes with gun ownership--the Constitution defends my God-given right to be as irresponsible or as just plain stupid as I want without consequences.
    
    
46. The vast majority of law enforcement officers are dishonest and are looking for ways to either arrest me illegally, take my guns for personal use, or just get away with murdering me in cold blood.
    
    
47. Beat cops should be assumed to agree with their politican boss on all subjects, including the Second Amendment. Blame them for what the sheriff or chief thinks, no matter what they say I know they're thinking it.
    
    
48. Exception: the only honest cops are the ones who read Calguns!
    
    
49. But I should still assume cops are guilty until proven innocent in all my posts. This is a great way to encourage all the pro-Second Amendment cops who read Calguns!
    
    
50. In spite of that, gun owners should support stricter enforcement of existing gun laws, because somehow they will not be abused even though (according to posters on internet gun boards) the entire justice system is.
    

7x57

[7x57]

The Great Big List Of Things I Learned From Reading Calguns (part 3)

1. Any LEO claim of self-defense should be assumed to be a trigger-happy murder, in spite of evidence to the contrary or no evidence at all.
   
   
2. Every civilian claim of self-defense should be assumed to be the gospel truth, even if said civilian was videotaped shooting toward an orphanage out the window of a speeding car while carrying five kilos of white powder.
   
   
3. In spite of law enforcement being always out to get me, it's a good idea to post things like "I'd shoot a trespasser on sight the moment he crosses my property line" and "I dearly hope someone breaks in, I poured powdered salt into the spaces between the buckshot in my shotgun shells just to cause more PAIN" on a public web forum known to be read by law enforcement. Nobody ever went to jail for stupid, right?
   
   
4. It's also a good idea to post details of my defensive measures on the same public forum. My friends will marvel at the cleverness of the combinations on my locks and the locations of my hidden guns!
   
   
5. Speaking of which, I should go hide even more guns around the house.
   
   
6. Most hunters are not real Second Amendment supporters, and calling them out on a forum that would only attract hunters who support the Second Amendment is the best way to change minds and influence hearts.
   
   
7. Most non-black-rifle people are the same way, for that matter.
   
   
8. The best way to make non-gun owners more comfortable with RKBA is obviously open carry. We should start by doing it in day-care centers until their comfort level builds, maybe with an AK over the shoulder instead of a handgun.
   
   
9. On the other hand, open carry is obviously crazy. The best way to secure a Constitutionally protected right to "bear arms" and insist that it means what the founders understood it to mean is to totally ignore the fact that carry which is only legal when licenced, regulated, and concealled is certainly not "bearing arms" in the understanding of the authors and ratifiers of the Constitution. It's only a perversion of the Constitution when they impose ahistorical meanings.
   
   
10. What political strategy I promote should be based solely on my personal needs and prejudices. Certainly I should never change my mind based on the warnings of people who have spent half a lifetime learning hard, bitter lessons about fighting this fight.
    
    
11. Besides, I don't have to care about anyone else or any other issue as long as I get my CCW!
    
    
12. I don't have to care about anything as long as I get to Open Carry, either.
    
    
13. The 2008 Democratic majority and administration will immediately introduce gun legislation that is word-for-word identical to gun legislation proposed during the Clinton administration.
    
    
14. And I should spam the entire internet to tell everyone about that!
    
    
15. In ALL CAPS.
    
    
16. Speaking of legislation, the Heller decision means that the SCOTUS will soon rule that conventional Tomahawk missiles are protected personal weapons. All I have to do is bring a lawsuit and they'll all agree!
    
    
17. The law works precisely that way on all Second Amendment subjects, thank goodness.
    
    
18. But, they'll probably allow an infringement of my sacred right to own nuclear armed Tomahawks and even build an ICBM silo in my backyard. The traitors!
    
    
19. On the other hand, Heller won't help because they'll just rule that any and all gun laws are "reasonable exceptions" and we'll be worse off than before because now it will have The Supremes' backing.
    
    
20. What do you mean, The Supremes were a musical group and not a common nickname for the Justices of the United States Supreme Court?
    
    
21. Whatever Heller means, the only reasonable response is to buy more guns. And ammo! Never forget ammo! I'd better buy everything at Walmart, even the calibers for which I have no firearms chambered!
    
    
22. And arrive at gun shows at five AM with a handtruck so I can be first in line to clean Miwall out of 5.56, 7.92x39, 9mm, and .45.
    
    
23. Then I should post about it on Calguns, all the people who can't find ammo anywhere will appreciate my foresight!
    
    
24. It was a good idea to vote for Obama. I can count on the two decrepit and influence-free blue-dog Democrats left in congress to single-handedly stop any anti-gun bills that may be introduced, as well as somehow stopping the Obama administration from executive orders that need no congressional approval.
    
    
25. Like, how bad could a few executive orders be anyway?
    
    
26. On the other hand it was a bad idea to vote for Obama because he's really a muslim. The proof is that he spent twenty years attending an extremely liberal American church that stands for every single trendy liberal Western social issue that Islam rejects. Well, that and a million posts on internet gun boards.
    
    
27. It's a good idea to attract the minorities who need RKBA the most to the gun-rights cause by posting irrelevant, stupid, and patently false personal attacks on the most successful black politician in American history. Like being Muslim....
    
    
28. On the other hand, it was a good idea to vote for the the most anti-gun, big-statist, anti-Constitutional presidential candidate in the history of the United States, who intentionally courted and was annointed by the the most corrupt political machine in the United States, simply to punish someone not on the ballot and Constitutionally forbidden from running again. I showed him, alright.
    
    
29. In fact, it's always a good idea to cut off my nose politically to spite Bush, Cheney, McCain, Palin, Pelosi, Reid, Kissinger, The Democratic party, the Republican party, the NRA, and anyone else who does not agree with me completely. That will punish them for not responding to the mental powers I have used on them in my basement for the last ten years instead of even once coming out in to the sunlight and volunteering for a campaign or activist group.
    
    
30. And the best way to spite the NRA is to join gun-rights organizations whose major fund-raising activity seems to be opposing the NRA.
    
    
31. The NRA never does anything in California, because if they did they'd surely send me a personal note about it no matter how damaging publicity would be to their effectiveness.
    
    
32. I'd rather have the NRA writing me letters detailing their strategy at every step rather than actually lobbying Sacramento.
    
    
33. Calguns can do anything the NRA can do better! The NRA should be like
    Calguns!
    
    
34. The NRA can do anything Calguns can do better! Calguns should start
    trying to do stuff the NRA already does!
    
    
35. Political purity without regard for strategy is always the best way. It works in the legislature, it works in litigation, it works in the court of public opinion! Total inflexibility always wins the hearts and minds of the masses!
    
    
36. On the other hand, that "strategy" thing sounds like a good idea. The best strategy is clearly to sell out guns and gun activities that I don't personally care about. That won't narrow the franchise and reduce the number of people supporting my own guns and activities!
    
    
37. Speaking of self-mutilation as a political tool, it's a good idea to vote for third-party candidates with absolutely no chance of winning, because ideological purity is more important than winning anything. Hey, it worked for Nader and Perot.
    
    
38. Even if their candidacy torpedos an OK candidate's chances of defeating a really awful one. Purity!!!
    
    
39. On the other hand, it's a good idea to vote for my party so faithfully that it knows my vote is not in play. That'll get me some policy love for sure!
    
    
40. The best way to prepare for the coming gun bans is to bury my rifles so they don't find them--the ones the ATF already has a complete paper trail on that leads right to my door, of course.
    
    
41. My preparations should rely on the proposition that the ATF would never use metal detectors or advanced forensics.
    
    
42. It is also logical to take guns that are "out of the system" for one reason or the other to a gunsmith. He surely isn't required to keep records accessible to the ATF or the CA DOJ, right? Uh...right?
    
    
43. It's OK, decades ago the news media told me the ATF's metal detectors won't find my buried gun because it's a Glock! They couldn't be wrong about firearms, could they?
    
    
44. If they come for the guns I'll just shoot them, because gun banners by definition have no guns--certainly not all the guns in the hands of the law enforcement and the military that would do the collecting.
    
    
45. Firing at law enforcement officers is the best possible way to win the hearts and minds of fence-sitting non-gun owners anyway.
    
    
46. Gene Hoffman's legal predictions are never wrong.
    
    
47. Except when he tells me it's bad tactics to engage in my favorite kind of "activism." Then he's a sell-out.
    
    
48. Bill Weise's advice on black rifles was probably wrong once, but nobody can remember when.
    
    
49. But I still should ignore him if he points out that my favorite gun rights
    organization/assembly bill is ineffective/counterproductive in the larger scheme of things.
    
    
50. I still don't have enough guns and ammo.
    
    
51. Or components!
    

7x57

[7x57]

The Great Big List Of Things I Learned From Reading Calguns (part 4)

1. Making long lists of what I learned on Calguns is a good use of valuable time.
   
   
2. Reading Calguns enough to make such a list is a good use of valuable time.
   
   
3. Self-mocking at the end of such a list is a good use of valuable time.
   
   
4. Posting it on April Fools will turn their outrage to gentle laughter. Suuurree it will.
   
   
5. So having written it, it's worth continually adding to it for months just so I can post it on April 1st.
   
   
6. Even if it gets far too long and no one reads through to the end.
   
   
7. So I can put snarky sarcastic comments there with impunity.
   
   
8. When you post it, it's worth a great deal of thought as to whether it better fits "general gun discussions" or "off-topic" since everyone else is equally careful in posting to the right forum.
   
   
9. Now I can just sit back and wait for the warm fuzzy love that will result from insulting every single member of the forum at least once.
   
   
10. ETA: It's a good use of valuable time to back and put extra spaces between all 150+ items because people who didn't care enough to read it complained!
    
11. That's OK, I'll just figure out something vicious to say about them too. Satire is fun!
    
12. Edit #2: I'd never forget to put extra spaces between the items that comment on the extra spaces I put everwhere else, right?
    
    
13. If I post a satire of Calgunners and their posting habits, the resulting thread will require more satire. About the satire. Yeah, I'm confused too.
    
    
14. Calgunners will spend hundreds of hours reading the penal code with a microscope, but will not use the search feature.
    

7x57

[trinydex]

wtf...

[Black Majik]

Nice list, but you forgot one major part of Calguns


Any OP that consists of multiple posts requires CLIFF NOTES!!! We're just too damn lazy to read all that.

[The Tech-1]

holy ****

[Saigon1965]

May I get the short version also -

[locktime]

I'll have to print that out and read it on my next transpacific plane ride.

[Hopi]

I found a typo......

[sorensen440]

I learned about jenkem

[bluthandwerk]

I must be sick, I read it all the way through...

Great list!

[chickenfried]

holy **** is right, does not appear to be a copy and paste

holy ****

[bill104]

I read the first 5 lines then jumped to the back hoping some one would post a short version, cuss I don't have time to read this stuff, it takes why to much of my other reading and ranting away.

[domokun]

I found a typo......

Did you find a grammar error in there too?