Divorce #1

[Samuelx]

Hey CB, Sorry things didn't work out but glad it's not worse all things considered!

Have you heard Louis CK on being single again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekvgMEcgqI

I've been eating the same flavor of ice cream for 23 years. First thing I'm gonna do if we get divorced is to go out and buy me the fastest sportsbike I can afford! haha

[ls2monaro]

Don't make Red Flags turn Green because she hot or great in bed. Ends wrong every time.

Too much real life... I had a girl I was messing with for a while that looked good and was amazing in bed. Every other aspect of her was no good. While I was messing with her I had an amazing woman I put on the backburner willing to give me the world.

The crazy girl tuned out to be an emotional train wreck, not to mention she was doing who knows what with other guys whenever I couldn't be with her every second of everyday. Never again lol...

I was lucky enough to realize it and save myself in time but I still cringe when I think about it. I am now happily married and have a beautiful son to come home to everyday. That unconditional love is priceless.

[CinnamonBear723]

Too much real life... I had a girl I was messing with for a while that looked good and was amazing in bed. Every other aspect of her was no good. While I was messing with her I had an amazing woman I put on the backburner willing to give me the world.

The crazy girl tuned out to be an emotional train wreck, not to mention she was doing who knows what with other guys whenever I couldn't be with her every second of everyday. Never again lol...

I was lucky enough to realize it and save myself in time but I still cringe when I think about it. I am now happily married and have a beautiful son to come home to everyday. That unconditional love is priceless.

Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed! I'm not saying i don't violate it every now and then but i have traditionally used this as a guide.

[AR15Man]

^^^^^
YEP, Ref; Hot/Crazy Matrix

http://youtu.be/hKWmFWRVLlU

[M1NM]

San Souci nails it: If you are going to marry, only get a religious wedding and NOT a marriage license. You'll have trouble finding a preacher who doesn't require a marriage license but they are out there. With no marriage license, the divorce lawyers will find it very hard to strip mine your wallet in divorce court . . . For more info on why Marriage sucks, see: http://mgtowforums.com/forums/forums/marriage-sucks.26/

Don't forget CA is where palamony started - you've got any type of marriage licensed or not you can get cleaned out.

[CinnamonBear723]

Don't forget CA is where palamony started - you've got any type of marriage licensed or not you can get cleaned out.

Or just never get married again

[BigStiCK]

I tried and tried to make this relationship work but it just wouldn't. So now that i have divorce number 1 down the drain what should i expect.......most of the guys i work with are on their third wife.........i know this is in no way unique in the law enforcement profession........just not sure where to go after a 12 year relationship.......my guess is on to wife number two!

I would figure out what went wrong with marriage #1 before moving on to #2. It takes 2 to Tango, so the failure belongs to both of you. Even if you were the perfect husband & she was a lousy wife, you chose to marry her.

I'm going on 20 years married to #1, been a LEO for 10. I made a promise to her that the job would not come between us, that family would always come first, and that I would leave it if necessary. I vowed my life to her, not the job.

My parents are going on 50 years of marriage, I have been around for 44 of it. The key that I think most people miss is that they live to serve each other, that the other comes first. Very rare in our "Me-centric" society.

Not saying we've got it all figured out, but it seems to be working so far.

[Spec]

^^^winner^^^

been with my lady 20 years married 16 been on the job half the time. Family first..its been rough and I've made carrier choices that have limited my upward mobility but I'm good with that.

I am not judging OP...sometimes splitting up is the best thing. Had I been with someone else I am sure I would have gone a different route. Good for both of you that you walked away with out making each other hateful. That in its self is a win.

[CinnamonBear723]

Theres more to it than just my career choice. She took a job working as a paramedic in kern county. Plus we started out at a very young age in high school. We just grew a part, and her working and living in another county put even more strain on the relationship. Neither one of us was willing to sacrifice our careers so we decided to part ways without any animosity. At the end of the day we both wanted different things

[drpepper]

Well hurry up and get the papers filed. All it takes is someone to tell her she is a fool and to hire a divorce attorney and everything being cool will become uncool very fast

[POLICESTATE]

Marry another cop.

[Sailormilan2]

My one, and only, divorce was 21 years ago this month. I pretty much agree with most of what has been said here.
Take your time, and heal. You shouldn't even think about dating for at least 6 months, and preferably a year. Once you do, be vewy, vewy careful(as Elmer would say). Nut cases abound out there, and I think I have found everyone.