Divorce #1

[CinnamonBear723]

I tried and tried to make this relationship work but it just wouldn't. So now that i have divorce number 1 down the drain what should i expect.......most of the guys i work with are on their third wife.........i know this is in no way unique in the law enforcement profession........just not sure where to go after a 12 year relationship.......my guess is on to wife number two!

[CBR_rider]

I'd take awhile to let it sink in and just "do you" for awhile.. Fortunately I am one of the few not (yet) divorced and hope to keep it that way; so I'm merely speculating what I would do in such a situation.

If you haven't already; figure out how this is going to effect you retirement plans. Sounds kinda shallow I know; but IMO it's something pretty darn important to find out.

[Rockit]

That sucks bro. My first lasted 18 years.
My divorce was UGLY and EXPENSIVE. The last thing I was looking for was to get maried again. No way was I willing to go through that again. I started "hanging out" with a co-worker who was also going through a divorce. Three years later we were married and still doing awesome 5 years later.
Life is easier than it ever was the 1st time.
Don't rush into anything and don't become the bitter guy that overlooks someone great right in front of you.

[CinnamonBear723]

I'd take awhile to let it sink in and just "do you" for awhile.. Fortunately I am one of the few not (yet) divorced and hope to keep it that way; so I'm merely speculating what I would do in such a situation.

If you haven't already; figure out how this is going to effect you retirement plans. Sounds kinda shallow I know; but IMO it's something pretty darn important to find out.

She only wanted the shotgun.....so i think i got off easy.....she doesn't get a penny of my check or pension

[CinnamonBear723]

That sucks bro. My first lasted 18 years.
My divorce was UGLY and EXPENSIVE. The last thing I was looking for was to get maried again. No way was I willing to go through that again. I started "hanging out" with a co-worker who was also going through a divorce. Three years later we were married and still doing awesome 5 years later.
Life is easier than it ever was the 1st time.
Don't rush into anything and don't become the bitter guy that overlooks someone great right in front of you.

Its odd but that makes a lot of sense......it sucked coming home to someone who didn't understand me anymore and had question after question about meaningless stuff........we both came to the mutual agreement that we didn't make each other happy anymore and we ended it on peaceful terms at the least

[micro911]

I have been married for almost 27 years. I had a lot of ups and downs.. Usually, I say "maybe you are right." It solved a lot of problem for me.

But, then, a lot of understanding about my work by my wife helped a lot, also. Missing family functions, missing kids' activities, missing holidays.. was not easy.

I am sorry to hear about your divorce. Hope everything works out for you after this.

[1CavScout]

My first one only lasted a couple years. When I got back from deployment to the ME it was pretty much over. She had moved on with her life while I was gone, and looking back it's the best thing that could have happened.

My wife I have now has much more in common with me, and we get along great. Everything happens for a reason IMO. Good luck...

[spyde12]

I don't know you, or your situation. So I don't know whether to say sorry to hear the news, or congratulations. At the end of the day, sometimes getting a divorce is a necessary option. Continuing to be together and be miserable is not the way anyone should live their life. I hope you find peace with this decision and focus on starting the next chapter of your life.

[gunner336]

#1

Been there. Married High School love. Lasted 7 yrs. Took my time on the next. Waited 4 yrs. Had #2 now over 30 yrs.
You make a more educated decisions when your older and hopefully smarter.

[WyattandDoc]

Don't make Red Flags turn Green because she hot or great in bed. Ends wrong every time.

[veeklog]

Never been married, but had plenty of girlfriends leave me because of work. I got used to just having a dog now

[SansSouci]

Cinnamon Bear,

From my experience, unless you're planning on having children, there is absolutely no reason to ever remarry.

CA is a marriage hostile state. It punishes the productive to the benefit of the unproductive. Living in OC, I can't tell you how many women I know who are knocking down tens of thousand a month in alimony. They will never remarry because the second they do they'll lose their lottery winnings. One chick I dated screwed up and filed in a non-lifetime alimony state. Had she filed here, she'd of been raking in 17.5k a month for life. Why would such a chick ever remarry?

I know of no dude who has been divorced in this state who'll never remarry. Men catch on pretty quickly that everything they've worked for can be taken away by vindictive women. And all women will become vindictive when not having to do a darn thing for the rest of their lives hang in the balance.

Conniving women ain't so much the problem. It's dirt bag divorce attorneys who make big money ruining families and encouraging women to lie who are. And don't think that divorce attorneys won't suborn perjury. CA family law attorneys are such dirt bags that even other lawyer hate 'em and won't associate with them. But then again, family law lawyers are almost always graduates of the lowest tier law schools or non-ABA accredited law schools. Since they lack credentials to work for law firms or governmental entities, they connive in the only arena available to them, that being family law.

My advice: never remarry in CA.

[CPRAFAN]

San Souci nails it: If you are going to marry, only get a religious wedding and NOT a marriage license. You'll have trouble finding a preacher who doesn't require a marriage license but they are out there. With no marriage license, the divorce lawyers will find it very hard to strip mine your wallet in divorce court . . . For more info on why Marriage sucks, see: http://mgtowforums.com/forums/forums/marriage-sucks.26/

[caliberetta]

Unless you're having children and have a woman that will dedicate her time to the upbringing of your progeny (instead of working) there is no reason to ever remarry.

[CinnamonBear723]

Yea, pretty much not planning on getting married unless there are kids involved....plus i already lost a shotgun and a sig sauer in the divorce.....i don't want to part with anymore firearms......lucky for me my ex is cool and doesn't want any money and we parted way peacefully.....we came to a mutual understanding that we were not happy and it was time for both of us to move on