Decompression

[BigDogatPlay]

We've all had those kinds of calls that just crush you emotionally inside while you have to retain your professional detachment.

Having a quiet place that isn't in the office that you can go to and process the leftover emotions from a tough run, for even a few minutes, is a winning strategy. I had a few places like that. They are like fishing holes and favorite camping spots out in the wilderness, you don't tell anyone about them, they are yours alone.

For the OP... be at peace, we're all standing there with you, leverage your peer support and don't tell a living soul where that spot is.

[SkyStorm82]

WTF! I'm pissed now. Was the woman targeted because she is the wife of a cop or was it just wrong place/wrong time?

I hope the dirtbag gets caught. I hate those calls...

[EOD3]

In a previous life, one of the kids I worked with found out I was a former LEO so naturally he was compelled to tell me all the reasons he hated cops. He couldn't get past the complaint that he'd never seen justice from the police. He really popped his cork when I told him that police officers were NOT in the "justice" business. Given what officers have to deal with, justice is the last thing you want from police officers. Detachment is what keeps the officer sane and the scumbags alive for trial.

[Calm Down]

Peer Support and such if fine but people seem to want to pass the hot potato without listening. Whether it's this forum or another, the forum it self is a form of peer support. Most of us at Calguns are drawn together for our fondness or otherwise with firearms. The sub groups allow those of us that are more similar to each other to share certain experiences. I conveyed a story well over a year ago. I received many responses asking me to seek peer counseling. I was thankful that people read about my incident and were concerned enough to respond but the responses generally all in included "talk to somebody". This forum is ,at least for me, my way of talking to somebody. Most all of you have had similar experiences and many of you have had much worse. Try not to pass the buck. Do what you are great at; empathies, it comes across so much better.

And no, we have not caught him.

[yzErnie]

Peer Support and such if fine but people seem to want to pass the hot potato without listening.

Seen that a few times when some of my deps went to use the services. I'm not completely sure what that happens but I have come to my own conclusion about why that happens. IMHO, it is becasue we are cops and not counselors. They don't have the training like the pros do and when they get into the sessions they get in over their heads and then try to pass it off to someone else. Although it can be a good resource, I've never been much of a fan of the peer support...especially when the dept have a really great group of pros on retainer.

This forum is ,at least for me, my way of talking to somebody. Most all of you have had similar experiences and many of you have had much worse.
Do what you are great at; empathies, it comes across so much better.

There is something to be said about the "non-peer support" support that is received among our groups. After some critical and very stresing incidents over the years I have had some great "counseling sessions" with the coworkers I hold close and who are within my "inner sanctum". I have very strict criterea of who I allow to be in my "inner sanctum" and I know I can trust those few folks with anything.

Regardless of anything else, don't take any of the professional emotions out on the ones you love. What has happened it isn't their fault and they should not be the brunt of our frustrations. Sure, they need to know what is bothering us and they need to be in the loop so when we have a bad day they know it is not directed at them. Hold those you love close and treat them right.

[9mmepiphany]

Although it can be a good resource, I've never been much of a fan of the peer support...especially when the dept have a really great group of pros on retainer.

I'd have to generally agree, I just wished my old department had pros on retainer.

Peer Support isn't designed to replace the pros, they are a stepping stone...they are trained to listen, sometimes that is all someone needs...they are trained to recognize when to make referrals to professional services. The greatest attribute of Peer Support is that folks will call on them when they would otherwise not talk to someone, because they don't want to talk to touchy-feely folks...because they don't have a problem. They are an alternative to speaking to the department Chaplaincy.

[Steyrlp10]

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And no, we have not caught him.

Sorry "he" hasn't been caught... yet. I would like to ask about how "she" is doing, but I understand if you don't want to disclose that or can't disclose that -- just concerned.

There were times where I knew how much work frustrated my Better Half or how it was difficult to see anything improve no matter how much effort/hours the officers put in. I would like to think that the best thing I ever did was to simply "be there" for him and to always be supportive of him.