Decompression

[Calm Down]

[Jonathan Doe]

This is a tough job. I also have been through many tough calls, including attending an autopsy of a 2 year old boy who was my son's age. I also went to a crime scene where 2 teen aged girls were killed, both at or near my daughter's age. I had to hug my kids when I came home. Each crime scene is different, yet the same.

We just have to cope with it and move on. Then, we can reflect on our career when it was all over. I am looking forward to it.

[9mmepiphany]

I have also been in that position, I learned to detach and complete the shift...we never had the ability to take a breath.

If you have a Peer Support unit in your department, it often helps to talk to someone else who has been there

[Spanky8601]

I have also been in that position, I learned to detach and complete the shift...we never had the ability to take a breath.

If you have a Peer Support unit in your department, it often helps to talk to someone else who has been there

+1 on this. If you can pick up a copy of "Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement" I am sure it is at Amazon, less than $20. Helped me the last few years of 35 on the streets.

[freonr22]

thank you all for serving, in the various, horrific conditions that you do.

[Ron-Solo]

"Calm Down", it sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do after such a tough call. We've all had nights like that, and fortunately we learn to cope.

I've had many hard nights, but the good ones far outnumber the bad. Peer support is also very important during these times.

One of my toughest incidents came while working as a sergeant supervising the bailiffs at the Central Civil Courthouse. It was five days before Christmas and we were closing up for the night when we got a report of a woman on the 9th floor ledge getting ready to jump. I was the first to get there and engaged the woman for several minutes. At one point I had almost talked her off the ledge, but she eventually jumped off. I ran to the edge to see if she had landed on one of the many ledges on the building. When I looked over, I saw her body on a ground floor walkway. Lying next to her, were her 6 and 8 year old daughters, whom she had thrown over just prior to my arrival. All three died of their injuries. There was evidence that the older girl struggled prior to being thrown over.

I have learned to deal with it, but I will never forget that night. About six months later, I was able to stop the husband/father from jumping off the same ledge. He was just as much a victim as everyone else.

The Superior Court still has not secured the ledge, and will be 10 years this Christmas.

[yzErnie]

Any one of us who has done this for a bit has had the tough ones to go handle. Take the time to appreciate everything you have and the loved ones you hold dear to you....that is what is most important to us.

As had been said above, there are options for you and there is absolutely no shame in using them. If you need to, go. And when you are with those you love, take the best care of them you can.

[eric2063]

[fullrearview]

I too am fortunate to work for a department like that....Call like that Really make me appericiate everything I have.

[heyeugenio]

We all have tough ones...

I was on my way home trying to end a long day at court and ready to start on my endless commute back to my tolerant family. I was ordered to locate a witness that FTA'd earlier in the day.

I figured I'd knock this one out before having to cross the Bay Bridge at about 19:00 hrs on a Friday no less. Location: Upper Market/Castro. I found, what seemed at first glance, the decent apartment complex id'd as the subject's last known address.

As I made my way up several flights of stairs, the familiar musk and stench caked in to the walls burst any hopes of grandeur.

I finally arrived at the unit and knocked on the door. I could clearly hear adult voices inside. My knocking persisted and increased in force. I was met by a 2 year old boy, same age as my son at the time, butt-naked and covered in feces and sores. He could barely utter any words or lift his malnourished arms high enough as I asked where "Mama" was. As the door swung further I saw "Mama" and some John rolling around on the couch with various paraphernalia strewn across the coffee table - all within reach of the little guy.

The smell of piss, feces, musty sweat and sex is just as clear to me today as it was eight years ago but the clearest memory I have is the look in that little guy's eyes when he saw me. It wasn't the look of relief or comfort, but the look of defeat and frustration that yet another man was there "looking for Mama" as if he'd have to wait for me to "finish" with her before he'd get to eat any dinner. His loss of innocence at 2 was hard to accept.

That one threw me for a good one. To my dismay (disgust), the court ordered "reunification" a few weeks later.

[Purple K]

As a Firefighter/EMT I get a small glimpse into your world occassionally. You guys deserve the upmost respect. Please, for your own and your families sake, take the time and find the means to unwind and unload. Don't let it ruin you.

[rdubya]

Ever wake up in the middle of the night because of the same dream? Different dream same circumstances?
Think you could/should (second guess yourself) have done it different?
Think it will go away with time?
Wonder why me?
Wonder why did he/she do that?
Think its not manly to talk to someone about it?
Self medicate to quiet the demons?
If the answer is yes. Do yourself, your partners, your significant other a favor and seek assistance.
Try with all your energy and beat the odds, make it to retirement and beyond.

[oddjob]

This is a tough call. I learned to be very cold....distant....and impartial to these kind of things. Booze is the worst things to turn to.

Its a matter of officer survival to be cold and distant. You can be caring, but its hard to care too much. It will kill you. ER staff at a hospital have the same issues on a lesser level. And I don't mean lesser in a bad way.

[retired]

I had some also. During my time in patrol I did CPR on about a dozen drowning victims; all very young children or infants. Only one survived without brain damage.

The one non drowning victim that had the most impact at the time was a 4yr. old boy who had hemorrhaged for the 3rd time that week at home from a tonsillectomy. The first two times he was taken to the same hospital and sent home once stabilized. The last time, when I arrived, he was laying on the carpet of his apt., unconscious and blood all over the place.

I didn't have time to get the mask, so I started CPR. Fire finally showed up and we went to the hospital in the squad. I gave compressions while the paramedic bagged him. My son was 4 at the time and due to have his adenoids and possibly his tonsils removed the next week. As I looked down on this boy, I thought of my son and between the two I was crying and telling the boy to wake up.

The boy did not survive. I told my son's doc I did not want his tonsils removed, tho I realized I was projecting my fear. It turned out he didn't need to have them removed after all.

I really don't dwell on these events, just recall them when a thread like this shows up.

[Steyrlp10]

... and this is why I'm happy that my Better Half enjoys his time on the water after 30 non-stop years on the job. It's sad that not everyone appreciates what law enforcement personnel does for the average person.