LEO help on child molester

[Big Jake]

She may have a difficult time proving anything as so much time has passed. Unless there is other evidence and/or witnesses to the crime then it is nothing more then her word against his!

[Subotai]

At least everyone in the family should no. Where's her dad?

[Doheny]

I'm, not a LEO, but yes, the statute of limitations did change a few years ago when the priest scandals where going on, but didn't the statute of limitations "sunset" or change back to what it had been previously, or there about?

Yes, either way...report it!

[winnre]

tell everyone!

Careful there. If he is not convicted you are opening yourself up to a lawsuit. I know a guy who was accused of molestation. The girls were under 18 and protected, he was 21 and had a good job. Word got out, the press ate him alive, he was anathema. Later on the girls said they just said that for the attention and he didn't really do anything. Too late. I also know a woman who says she can always get her way by telling guys that the consensual sex the other night was really rape. The laws is on her side. For these reasons I am a lousy candidate for jury duty in this area. Unless there is proof just like in any other crime, there are those who truly are innocent.

[CSACANNONEER]

She will need support and counseling, not judgement and condemnation. SHE didn't do anything wrong.

It is easy for someone who has not been in her position to try to blame her for something if she doesn't report it. That is just wrong on so many levels.

I'm not blaming her for anything. She is a victim and will continue to be a (phycological) victim until she is able to stand up to her attacker and transfer control of the situation from him to her! I hope that she can find the strength and courage to make him pay dearly for what he has done and to stop him from doing the same to another child.

That said, if someone knowingly allows a child molester to go unchecked, is that not wrong? How many baby rapers stop after one victim? I know how hard it is for a victim to point to their attacker in court. I also know that I have seen a five year old girl do it and watched her attitude about life change as soon as she realized that she was now in complete control and he attacker would never be able to hurt her again. He got a life sentence for torture among several lesser charges.

[norcal01]

If he's done it once, he'll do it again. Report it. Even if no charges are ever filed it'll still help in a couple ways. One, it will put him on notice that people are on to him and those that know can keep their children away from him. Two, it'll still be a report on file which might help in a future investigation. If another victim says she was molested and the scenarios are similar then it bolsters both cases. And three, the DA might file charges even if the case is weak he might plea to a lesser offense which would still get him on the 290 roster to avoid being drug through a long, public trial.

[Seesm]

report it..

[SVT-40]

The real first issue is getting the adult victim to make the report to the proper police agency. This would be the agency where the molestations occurred. If she has moved since then there may be a problem. Some agencys will take a very brief courtesy report and send it to the proper agency for a full investigation, but if the agency is still local to the victim she should go there.

To the OP. You cannot make the report for her, so don't be calling any PD's to report the incident without her approval and involvement..

Try and sit down with her and relate to her feelings NOW about the incident. Be gentle and don't force her to report the incident(s). Offer advice but don't insist.

If she decides to make a report. Call the appropriate agency and ask to talk to the sex crimes investigator. Follow that persons instructions on how to have the victim make the report. Some investigators will handle the original report. Some agencies require the original report to be made by a patrol officer. Either way the report will have to be made in person and not over the phone.

If she decides not to file a report don't make her feel bad. She already has enough on her mind so don't add to the burden.

The best plan is "Listen support and don't criticize". Regardless of her decision.

[ZX-10R]

Like what exactly happened. Inappropriate hugging or touching outside the clothing or was it more..?...It makes a difference.

Before moving on with this situation, a conversation needs to happen.

In anycase, as an adult, it would be her call.

This is smartest response yet. Someone talk to her and get the FULL story. Worst thing you can do is make a crusade about someone who may have held her wrong without meaning to do so. I know one time I was with a long time female friend and we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek goodbye...I inadvertently patted her above the arse. I apologized of course to explain myself and how the only woman I hug like that is my wife and it is habit. She understood and I was very apologetic about it.

I do not know the whole story but I need to hear more so that two (three if you count the guys wife and then more people if they have kids) people are not hurt instead of just one.

[BillCA]

My wife is pissed, Her sister's daugter just told her that 9 years ago. When she was 9, that one of their brother in laws molested her (a uncle by marriage). Can they still report it to get this *******. After 9-10 years. She is going to be 19 now and i guess it just came out.

First, let's ask some questions.

The girl was about 9 years old. How old was the uncle-in-law? It's easy to assume from the description he was an adult. But I've also known uncle-in-laws only a few years older (or younger) than the niece-in-law.

If we're talking an adult or late teen, then that's one thing.
If we're talking about an eleven y/o boy at the time, that may be something different.

The next question is what really happened? Are we talking a situation where he wanted to "peek" under her clothes? Touch her inappropriately? Was there penetration or she was coerced to touch him? Essentially we're trying to know if it was a case of "adolescent curiosity"† vs. molestation.

Actions:
Now if there is a case to be made due to age differences and/or sexual activities with a 9 y/o girl, then I think it should be reported. The young woman should be assured that she didn't do anything wrong. Especially that she didn't do anything wrong by not telling if she was afraid of him or afraid of the impact on the family (that's noble of her, but it's time to report it now).

The most important factor is that SHE should be the one to report it. She will have to decide for herself if she wants to go forward with it. She should also be forewarned that some of the in-law family may go into denial (as many parents might) and lash out at her. They might accuse her of fabricating/fantasizing it for attention. Or they might react against their own and ostracize him based on her word. She has to be ready for those consequences as well. If this molester was an adult at the time and now has his own family, that may disintegrate as well.

Walk her through some of these likely consequences and reassure her that the molester is the one responsible for the consequences and side-effects of his actions. It was his wrongdoing that causes the turmoil and anger, not her reporting it.

If she, like many young girls, kept a journal at the time, it might help her to revisit it and use it to write a separate dialog about what happened and her emotions over the years. This could be helpful especially if there were multiple occurrances that time has blurred together.

That's my thinking on it.


† Adolescent curiosity usually involves "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" in just pre-pubescent kids. Much of it can be "innocent" play and discovery about the differences between genders. Especially for those single children or those with siblings of all one gender. It might even involve exploratory touching. But there are those that will claim it's still "molestation" even if neither party felt bad about it and went off to eat a peanut butter sandwich afterwards.

[msand951]

Thanks for your info guys. I spoke to my wife she said, her sister, the girl's mom and the victim filed a report.
Ill try to answer some of your questions.
Her Dad I wont say what he wants to do. But the police will take care of it now.
And it was more than a misunderstood hug. Areas where touched that shouldnt have.
The perv was in his mid to late 30s . But hes going down for sure.

[CSACANNONEER]

Thanks for your info guys. I spoke to my wife she said, her sister, the girl's mom and the victim filed a report.
Ill try to answer some of your questions.
Her Dad I wont say what he wants to do. But the police will take care of it now.
And it was more than a misunderstood hug. Areas where touched that shouldnt have.
The perv was in his mid to late 30s . But hes going down for sure.

It sound like justice will be served one way or another!

[JagerTroop]

I have no tolerance for rapists or child molesters

[andalusi]

She will need support and counseling, not judgement and condemnation. SHE didn't do anything wrong.

It is easy for someone who has not been in her position to try to blame her for something if she doesn't report it. That is just wrong on so many levels.

No kidding. So easy for someone not involved to blame the victim, but why don't they try sitting in a courtroom full of strangers, forced to discuss childhood abuse in excruciating detail while being challenged by a hostile, quick-witted defense attorney? Especially when there's a good chance the defendant won't be found guilty? I don't blame any victim for not wanting to be revictimized.

[Fot]

I have no tolerance for rapists or child molesters

Same here..