Need advice on harassing type behavior...

[Touchdown456]

Happy New Year all,

Was hoping to get some advice from an LEO...any thoughts, opinions and mainly how to proceed.

Last night I was out with my sister and her friends for New Years. Throughout the course of the night, my sister kept mentioning that some phone number she didn't recognize was calling her. Eventually, it had called her enough times, that she thought she should return the call and see if someone was in trouble. It turns out that it was the janitor that works at her school (she's a teacher there). Immediately she started freaking out. Turns out that last year, this janitor had emailed her a couple of times in the middle of the night, in sort of a creepy way. My sister is 27 and she tells me this guy is around 50. Anyway, she felt creeped out by those emails, that she just ignored the guy, and he kept quiet, until last night. It was so weird. He called her about 15 times in a row, about 4 min apart, right up through midnight. When my sister called back and realized who it was, she only said, "oh, happy new year" and hung up the phone. He then started calling again, and rang her phone about 3 more times before we made her turn it off.

Now, I tried comforting her, telling her that it was just a drunk awkward guy on new years, but she's scared sh**less. She just moved into her own place for the first time (had been living with a long term boyfriend previous), and she's timid enough already about living alone. She lives in NY and I live in LA, so it's troublesome not to be around to protect her.

Does anyone have any advice on how to proceed? Should she report the incident to the police, or just the school? Might that provoke a weirdo? Ignore it? Granted it's one occurence, but I just want to make sure she's safe.

Thanks in advance.

[geeknow]

It appears that the janitor is smitten with your sis...from your telling.

She's a teacher, right? Sounds lame, but I think that she needs to 'go to the pricincipal' on this one. If for no other reason than the guy needs to be told clearly that his advances are not welcome.

It doesnt sound like wacky stalker behavior....yet....but from what you say, the indicators are there....All those phone calls...?

Better to have the discussion now, loud and clear, than play he said, she said later on.

[Jonathan Doe]

She need to tell him to stop, the first step. If it doesn't work, talk to the principal.

[CaliTheKid]

It appears that the janitor is smitten with your sis...from your telling.

She's a teacher, right? Sounds lame, but I think that she needs to 'go to the pricincipal' on this one. If for no other reason than the guy needs to be told clearly that his advances are not welcome.

It doesnt sound like wacky stalker behavior....yet....but from what you say, the indicators are there....All those phone calls...?

Better to have the discussion now, loud and clear, than play he said, she said later on.

This is good advice.

I've gotten a bunch of calls like this-- one as recently as a few weeks ago. No crime had been committed so we advised the victim to handle it via human resources. We walked the office with the victim to send a message this was not acceptable but it was mainly for show. Sorry you're sis has to go though this-- people are strange.

[eta34]

I would suggest having this conversation with a witness present.

[michaeltpo]

She should at the least send him an email on the school's email system that she wants it to stop and any further advances would be considered harrassment. "CC'd" to the principle. (and the District's HR Office if he's made any sort of threat) There'll be a record of the harrassor (and the Principal) as having received it. She doesn't nor should she have to talk to the harrasser (face to face on the subject) and the Principlal will have to act on this. If you just tell the Principal they often don't want to act on it hoping it will go away. An email should "align the system" to ensure he is put on notice that his advances are unacceptable.
It might be a good idea to tell the Principle in advance the email is coming but do not be dissuaded (by the Principal) from sending the email. Give the Principal a brief chance to get his/her ducks lined up.

[Ron-Solo]

Depending on the school district's policies, it may be a violation of policy already. She should go the the principal immediately and report it. A lot of districts have a very strict sexual harassment policy, and this falls in that category. If he doesn't stop, she should get a restraining order and get the courts and police involved.

Best of luck

[Touchdown456]

Thank you everyone for your advice..I've discussed these ideas with her and she is formulating a way to talk to the janitor to inform him that his actions are not welcome, while at the same time informing the principal of the situation, so if he continues down this path, there's an official record and actions can be taken from there.

I listened to the voicemail he left her, and to be honest, he just sounds like someone whos a little simple, and got drunk on New Years. Granted numerous calls is outta line, but I don't think it was threatening in any way.


Thanks again

[retired]

I agree with eta, have a witness; both when speaking with the janitor and the principal.

[trendar5]

Nobody is asking....how did he get her number in the first place? Seems like he is calling her cell phone....did he do something shady to get ahold of her number?

[berto]

A meeting between her, the principal, and the creep where "NO" is uttered should be all that's necessary. If that doesn't work a sexual harassment claim will seal the deal.

[The Nomadd]

Nobody is asking....how did he get her number in the first place? Seems like he is calling her cell phone....did he do something shady to get ahold of her number?

Good question. The company I work for is a training/coaching company for people in the financial planning industry, so we have a contact database that contains both our clients, as well as our employee's contact info, such as home phone number and cell number, if provided. So it's pretty easy to get to by anyone. However, since this is a school, I have a feeling that contact info for the employees would only be accessible to certain people in the office with a need to know, which I doubt would include the janitor. So I bet he did use his access to the areas this information is kept to go digging in her file. Something else to bring to the administrator's attention.

[berto]

Good question. The company I work for is a training/coaching company for people in the financial planning industry, so we have a contact database that contains both our clients, as well as our employee's contact info, such as home phone number and cell number, if provided. So it's pretty easy to get to by anyone. However, since this is a school, I have a feeling that contact info for the employees would only be accessible to certain people in the office with a need to know, which I doubt would include the janitor. So I bet he did use his access to the areas this information is kept to go digging in her file. Something else to bring to the administrator's attention.

Staff rosters usually have contact info. The janitor might have been given a roster or he could have easily seen a roster in the principal's office or at the secretary's desk.

[code33]

Sounds like a "hostile work environment" brewing. Definitely an issue to bring up to the principal and HR. Her labor union should also be a good resource.

[Touchdown456]

Staff rosters usually have contact info. The janitor might have been given a roster or he could have easily seen a roster in the principal's office or at the secretary's desk.

Yes, this is pretty much true. According to my sister, there's a contact list with all of the staff's info on it (including address, which to me seems crazy). I guess this list is available to all employees. That phone number part isn't that weird to me, as my job has a list available to all with phone/email info. The address however seems like a breach of privacy, and unnecessary.

Another question - I want to buy her something for personal protection. I was thinking a keychain size OC spray (wanted taser, but illegal in NY) However, just knowing the inherant problems of OC, (distance, possible blowback...etc), does anyone have any recommendations on a spray that is well designed/reliable/effective?

Thanks!