Hiding purchase from significant other

[mikeyr]

20 years ago I had a Colt 45 SSA and i stupidly sold it to buy something else. Last year I was wandering around on my motorcycle and ran into a gun shop i had never been to, they had a 45SSA there and I bought it right there on the spot.

I didn't tell my wife and when she saw as i was cleaning it after shooting she remarked that it was good to see my old toy being used again, she had/has forgotten that i sold it and thinks this one is the same one. BUT I don't feel right hiding it from her, i will continue of course since its too late now, but I also WONT do it again, just does feel right.

It was also hard to explain why I had to go for another 300 mile ride on my bike alone 10 days later without telling her I was going to pick up a new gun that I had not told her about.

[klewan]

It's not just the one purchase; my neighbor was telling me about a divorce where the wife came in to a settlement meeting with a six year collection of photos of everything the husband had bought. She wanted her half.

Best advice is marry up; she makes more money has greater net worth. Then all the family laws that benefit the lesser earning spouse will work in your favor, not hers. Talk to some guys that have been divorced 2 or 3 times for what to do or not to do. They'll open your eyes. Guys that are married for 30 years won't know how brutal it gets.

[bruss01]

You had a fortunate accident and a happy outcome, OP.

Glad you two could work it out.

My wife recently said "No more guns" - not giving me an order, but suggesting we had other priorities and I agreed. HOWEVER.... I had been looking for a sort of gun that I can only acquire used, and an auction came up on gunbroker. I wanted it for a gunsmithing class as an experimental gun. It was inexpensive and kind of beat up, but it was the right model with the right features. I bought it. Last night I told the wife about it, explaining what it was for, that it was cheap, and I paid for it out of my discretionary spending allotment. She was fine with it, even endorsed it.

There may be times you hide something from a spouse, but that should be a rare occasion. Trust is the most valuable resource in any relationship, the easiest to squander, and the toughest to rebuild. Guard it well!

[furyous68]

Your wife is proving herself to be the brains of the operation...you might as well just comply with all of her demands in that case.

ROTFLMAO... I am laughing so hard now, good thing nobody else is in the office right now!

[whipkiller]

It's not just the one purchase; my neighbor was telling me about a divorce where the wife came in to a settlement meeting with a six year collection of photos of everything the husband had bought. She wanted her half.

Best advice is marry up; she makes more money has greater net worth. Then all the family laws that benefit the lesser earning spouse will work in your favor, not hers. Talk to some guys that have been divorced 2 or 3 times for what to do or not to do. They'll open your eyes. Guys that are married for 30 years won't know how brutal it gets.

Dang dude, the guys not even married yet and you're already planning his divorce?!

If I wanted advice about marriage, I think I'd talk to the guys married 30 years, not the ones on their 3rd divorce!


I find it amusing that OP is talking money and marriage, and everyplace that (I think) was supposed to say "My " is coming through as "My finance"...

[Fjold]

Wifezilla's given up on me.

Yesterday I had a rifle delivered from my gunsmith. My 12 year old grand daughter was playing out front when the UPS guy came. She drags in the box with the cased rifle inside and yells " Papa, there's another rifle for you!"

Wifezilla didn't even look up.

[klewan]

Dang dude, the guys not even married yet and you're already planning his divorce?!

If I wanted advice about marriage, I think I'd talk to the guys married 30 years, not the ones on their 3rd divorce!


I find it amusing that OP is talking money and marriage, and everyplace that (I think) was supposed to say "My " is coming through as "My finance"...

He wants to marry up!

Best course of action is talk to both groups. From what I've seen, the 30 year marriages are the husband being told what to do and he does it. This is called 'keeping the peace'. You really need to be a 'fly on the wall', to know what is actually going on in a marriage. They have a tendency to lie about what is actually happening. I think water-boarding would be a good policy.

I learned from the trice divorced guys. By that time they were real clear on the mistakes and what to avoid. One guy married and was divorced by the same woman; 3 times!!!! When he had a pretty good net worth, time for a divorce. Then she'd wait 4-6 years until he built it back up, knew how to make him jealous, and got married again. It was after the third one he finally figured out how she was manipulating him. That was 30 years ago...