It all depends on how you like a pistol to handle. I have fairly medium sized hands and like the XD's grip. I also like thick grips on a 1911. The ability to get the same gun, with the same grip feel in 2 grip lengths and 3 barrel/slide lengths and my 2 favorite calibers was a major deciding factor in buying an XD for my defense pistol. I like Glocks for the same reason, but they just don't feel right.
If you prefer a slightly smaller grip, and have smallish hands, I don't believe the XD is going to work for you, though a shaved grip can do good things to an otherwise fat pistol.
As far as a 9mm 1911 being a sin, whatever. If you like the frame, get it in .22, 9mm, .380, .40, 10mm, .38 super, .45, scale up the proportions and get it in .50BMG, whatever floats your boat. It's one thing to buy a Monet painting and change the background, or a 300SL Mercedes and put a Chevy 350 in it, it's a very different thing to scribble on a Monet Poster, or slap some fuggly rims on a C230. 1911s are no different, will you be buying a fine hand-engraved one, or one actually carried on the beaches of Normandy and converting it to 9mm using and angle grinder and tooth-picks? Probably not. You'll more than likely be buying a mass production, factory built, 9mm, just like a couple thousand other 9mm 1911s build in that same factory. Nothing sacred about it.
If you like the 1911 platform, but want a 9mm, there really is no 2 ways about it, you need a 9mm 1911, maybe 2. For self defense, don't worry about switching barrels and springs to fire .38 super, just swap mags and use +P+ 9mm hollow-points.
If you prefer a slightly smaller grip, and have smallish hands, I don't believe the XD is going to work for you, though a shaved grip can do good things to an otherwise fat pistol.
As far as a 9mm 1911 being a sin, whatever. If you like the frame, get it in .22, 9mm, .380, .40, 10mm, .38 super, .45, scale up the proportions and get it in .50BMG, whatever floats your boat. It's one thing to buy a Monet painting and change the background, or a 300SL Mercedes and put a Chevy 350 in it, it's a very different thing to scribble on a Monet Poster, or slap some fuggly rims on a C230. 1911s are no different, will you be buying a fine hand-engraved one, or one actually carried on the beaches of Normandy and converting it to 9mm using and angle grinder and tooth-picks? Probably not. You'll more than likely be buying a mass production, factory built, 9mm, just like a couple thousand other 9mm 1911s build in that same factory. Nothing sacred about it.
If you like the 1911 platform, but want a 9mm, there really is no 2 ways about it, you need a 9mm 1911, maybe 2. For self defense, don't worry about switching barrels and springs to fire .38 super, just swap mags and use +P+ 9mm hollow-points.

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