What do you ladies like in a handgun?

[Frito Bandido]

So I'm looking to persuade my better half to purchase her first handgun, and I can't think of anyone better to ask than the Calguns ladies

What do you look for in a handgun and what were your experiences as you tried different guns and developed your preferences? What positive and negative experiences influenced your decision-making?

[BonnieB]

This post is in the Women's Forum. OT fans who want to pile on, please don't bother. We don't like it and we push back. However, constructive comments are always welcome.

For the 900th time ! Don't buy a gun for your woman! Let her be a adult and run the process herself.

WOMEN WHO ARE BUYING THEIR FIRST GUN SHOULD DO THESE STEPS INDEPENDENTLY.

• She does a handgun safety training with practice firing. NRA's Women on Target is super, especially if there are women instructors.
  
  
• She commits to practicing at least once a month. If you don't practice you might as well not bother.
  
  
• She rents several guns in different calibers and tries them out. I know this can get expensive, but it's still cheaper than buying the wrong gun. She selects a caliber that feels comfortable to her. Bigger is not necessarily better, but she's a grown-up and can probably handle something bigger than .22
  
  
• She schedules one or more full-out NRA handgun training session with a reputable instructor, preferably one on one, preferably a woman. Unless the hubby, BF, etc is a certified NRA Instructor, he should be home watching the ball game that day. Men, do NOT try to teach her to shoot yourself. Teaching a woman to shoot is like teaching a woman to drive and is a relationship-killer.
  
  
• She goes to a local gun shop, on a Thursday at 2pm (always slow then) with her American Express card visible in her hand and handles as many guns as possible. This is where the hubby if any, BF, SO, sits in the car and listens to the ball game. ( Here's an edit, with a tip of the hat to CSACannoneer, as below: Depending on the woman and her knowledge of firearms at that time, she might (I say "might") be better off bringing a neutral 3rd party with her so that she doesn't get pressured to buy something that isn't for her. The neutral third party should be either a knowledgeable female shooter or a certified instructor who only has a professional relationship with her.)
  
  
• If she doesn't like how she is treated, she leaves and goes to another gun store. That is why she walks in with American Express Card held high, so the sales staff knows she's serious. I have favorite salesmen, and I always get immediate attention in my LGS, because they know I'm a serious buyer if I'm there at all.
  
  
• She looks at several guns she likes, that feel good in her hand, that is the right caliber to do the job, whatever that job is (self defense, Saturday range dates, etc). She asks for intelligent discussion from the sales staff. No supportive attention or no intelligent help? Walk out of the store!
  
  
• If she finds one or two guns she likes, she summons hubby, BF, SO, whatever, from the car for final approva (if necessary), and congratulations. Then he goes back to the car and the game.
  
  
• She pays for the gun with her own money.
  

We've said this again and again. She can handle this. She can be an adult and arrange her own class, preview guns at a gun shop and she should especially pay for it with her own money. I completely support hubbies, BF's and interested friends to go on rental-shooting trips. I do not support them deciding what caliber 'she can handle', dominating the buying process, teaching her how to shoot or poaching on her expensive professional training sessions.

If your your wife, GF, sister, mother or best friend doesn't want to do this totally alone, that's OK. You can give gentle advice, support and encouragement. But the more she does alone using the above process, the more ownership she'll have of her guns and the more likely she will be to self-defend or go to the range with you.

Honest. Tried and True.

(We have an entire thread on this with lotsa good info, in the Women's Forum: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...d.php?t=357584 )

[movie zombie]

So I'm looking to persuade my better half to purchase her first handgun, and I can't think of anyone better to ask than the Calguns ladies

What do you look for in a handgun and what were your experiences as you tried different guns and developed your preferences? What positive and negative experiences influenced your decision-making?

I like that you are trying to persuade HER to buy HER first handgun. you seem to be encouraging HER to be responsible and I hope that you point her to this particular forum.

gathering some info to present to her isn't a bad thing but at the end of the day it is up to her to decide what she wants and to do further research. Bonnie has pointed you to a good link in this forum and repeated much of our mantra.

again, I like that you while you are doing some research you are not trying to make this your project or trying to decide what will work for HER.

so, some of my thoughts: I like revolvers as a starting point. not all agree. why a revolver? because it really is easy, comes in many calibers, and is just plain reliable.

notice I said Starting Point: there is no such thing as the one and only perfect pistol, imo.

i'm also a firm believer in starting in a smaller caliber and working up....as She sees fit. that might happen quickly!

there is nothing wrong with a .22. more people are killed by a .22 pistol than any other. it is all about what she will practice with and become proficient with. she can make her own decision when she is ready to step up.

starting with a higher caliber, say .38/.357, can be a big mistake as recoil that she isn't prepared to handle may turn her off the whole idea of having her own gun.

she needs to handle and shoot as many types of pistols as possible before making her decision. what feels good in the hand in the store may not feel good when firing at the range...I had that experience!

i'm not a fan of "plastic" guns and prefer real metal. even with a revolver the smaller the gun even if medal the harder the recoil.

taking a class prior to purchase may be her best bet.....

also, refer her to corneredcat.com
and
there are a lot of good videos on youtube BY WOMEN re owning a gun, how to decide what to purchase, how to rack a slide, etc.

again, thank you for not trying to do it all for her and not deciding for her!

[Pally]

So I'm looking to persuade my better half to purchase her first handgun, and I can't think of anyone better to ask than the Calguns ladies

What do you look for in a handgun and what were your experiences as you tried different guns and developed your preferences? What positive and negative experiences influenced your decision-making?

Don't be dissuaded by the sage and wisdom of BonnieB and movie zombie-they know what they are talking about, and you should listen to/read them with dilligence!

From my perspective...

Let the firearm itself persuade your "better half". Take her to different shops to start holding handguns. In the mean time, start teaching your partner about gun safety-it is important to get those ideals instilled early in a new shooter-and general firearms operations (racking a slide, dropping the magazine, etc...)

Let her get acclimated to the different guns and eventually take her to an indoor range and rent as many guns as she can so she can try them out for herself.

She NEEDS to hold her own gun and decide if she likes it or not. She will have to hold/shoot several before buying. Try not to steer her in any particular direction; Glocks, Sigs, etc...She will have to choose what fits her best and recoil management may or may not be an issue for her. She will have to find that out through practical experience.

What I found out is, that while I initially liked a few and purchased them, I eventually found better handguns to fit my grip and I could control them better. Better control contributes to better marksmanship which is a solid confidence builder in using weapons. AND, LOTS OF PRACTICE, TOO!!!

After lots of time at the range and a good many rentals, I found out that I like the larger caliber handguns. However, fit is everything to me and the Sig 220 and CZ 75 fit me perfectly! Very ergonomic.

Most of all, be patient, encouraging and helpful-it will put her at ease.

[movie zombie]

yes, I love that wording: "let the firearm itself persuade"!

[tgunsmoke]

These ladies covered it all.

She's probably more likely to shoot and enjoy a gun that she picked out herself. I would suggest having her hold all different types of pistols, giving her an idea of what feels good in her hands and what doesn't. A range trip to rent some guns she liked in the store would be helpful too. If she's going to own a gun, she should own one SHE likes.

[Frito Bandido]

Thanks all for your responses. I'm hoping she is able to find something she feels comfortable and confident with, and I know everyone has a different experience so I thought it'd be good to hear what other's experiences have been like. The feedback is much appreciated!

[movie zombie]

please let us know how she does with her research and her selection.

[rugersigkimber]

There's a another level of research your girl needs to do...

1. Know what you want the gun for - If it is for the range, then a certain selection of guns is available..but if it is for CCW then it probably is a different selection of guns. If it is the first gun, then it is probably a range gun...
2. It's one thing to handle a gun, but it is another to shoot it...and to shoot it in different calibers. Right now she may be afraid of a 9 or 40 or 45, but it won't stay that way...so don't "push" a purchase of a .22 as a first gun...
3. The caliber and style are other issues...when women start looking, I often hear sales people push .22s and revolvers...and I'm standing by listening and cringing...I am a women, and when I started I had to get used to the caliber differences...now I can handle a .45, .460, .44, and .50 just fine...so with experience and frequency, the issues of caliber and style will go away. Let the range time rentals determine that style and caliber...not a sales person.
4. Making a decision of the first gun is fun. My first gun was the Ruger SR22 and my second gun was a 1911. But the .22 is still in the safe and the 1911 is gone...then came a revolver...now I have a preference for semi autos, but I didn't know when I first started...
5. What I found is, that with time and experience, I have discovered that I have gravitated to all the guns, in all calibers, but have started to realize that some guns are "more fun" to shoot...so feel, looks, experience makes me "like" some guns more...with that comes preferences for hammer or no hammer, striker or DA/SA, and revolver or semi-auto...it takes time...

The point of what I am saying is this...as the person above said, let your girl make her decision...just keep encouraging the exepreince and her, and keep having fun... she may want 2, 3, 4, or 10 more guns in the future, if this first experience goes well....and over time, the likes and dislikes will change, and it is all normal...!

Here's my top first range gun picks, not in any order..."reliability" is a given if it is on the list:

9MMs
- M&P9 - nice fit and fun shooting (the trigger is a hot topic for some, but as a first gun it's fine)
- XD9 - It's easy on the recoil, nice fit, and grip safety
- Sig P229 9mm - Sweet! The DA/SA is a great safety
- Ruger SR9 9mm or SR9c - Sweet! Awesome gun. My second poly gun.
- Glock 19 or 17 - If you like the feel of Glock
- Sig P239 9mm - Same as my other comments....sweet, fun, nice fit, natural
- Sig P2022 9mm - Nice gun, but the hand fit isn't quite as nice as the above...for me...

40s
- Ruger SR40 - soft shooting, really nice
- XD40 - soft shooting, love it
- M&P 40 - soft shooting, really nice
- Sig P239 - It's smaller but it fits great and the .40 is enjoyable

CCW TYPES but also fine for first gun
- Sig P938 9mm - WOW!
- XD9sc 9mm - Comfortable
- Ruger SR9c or SR40c - Sweet
- M&P Shield 9 or 40 - Really thin
- Sig P239 - So fun to shoot, really superb hand fit

45s
- XD45 - Not much recoil for a .45. Great HD gun
- Glock 21 - If you like a glock.
- Sig P220 - WOW. What a gun!
- 1911s - You can get a great 1911 in the $800-$1100 range in any of the Kimber, RIA, SA, and S&Ws

Others
- The Beretta 92fs is really fun
- The CZ75b is so comfortable
- HK USP full or compact is a good experience
- But the top pics are safe in S&W, SA, Ruger, SIG, and Glock

Note: I've had four Glocks in different calibers and sizes...I'm moving away from them ONLY because I "enjoy" M&P, Sig, XD, and Ruger more. I'm keeping two Glocks to do GSSF and IDPA...

[shannia]

Before I purchased my first handgun that was specifically for me we went to the gun range and I had the opportunity to fire a lot of different options. My favorite just happened to be the Glock 19, but I know a lot of women don't enjoy the feel of a Glock.

[code_blue]

Frito, the women's forum is a completely different animal ain't it? These gals are nuts!

They're super informative, but at the same time you can't help but feel a bear trap swinging around your head.

An analogy to the situation, would be buying her a bowling ball disguised as influencing her to take up bowling when the bowling ball was really meant for you to play with.

Look at it this way... How did you get into guns and decide the eventual guns that you wanted? Through your own experiences and hopefully with guidance from others.

So, I would say to open the doors for her and guide her learning experience, but let her decide on what works for her.

Well, obviously the ladies here have already said that, but I wanted you to hear it from another dude to even out the fact that we're minorities here.

Best of luck.

PS, get her a bowling ball anyways

[Steyrlp10]

OP, please let us know what her final choice was. I'd be interested to read about her trip to the range, etc.

In my case, whatever the gun I choose goes with whatever activity I'm about to get involved in: practice or competition

[tgunsmoke]

Frito, the women's forum is a completely different animal ain't it? These gals are nuts!

They're super informative, but at the same time you can't help but feel a bear trap swinging around your head.

An analogy to the situation, would be buying her a bowling ball disguised as influencing her to take up bowling when the bowling ball was really meant for you to play with.

Look at it this way... How did you get into guns and decide the eventual guns that you wanted? Through your own experiences and hopefully with guidance from others.

So, I would say to open the doors for her and guide her learning experience, but let her decide on what works for her.

Well, obviously the ladies here have already said that, but I wanted you to hear it from another dude to even out the fact that we're minorities here.

Best of luck.

PS, get her a bowling ball anyways

Imagine us venturing out of the Ladies forum...

[ladyeclectic79]

I agree with every thought on that list above by RSK. Great list of guns and choices on caliber.

When I first got into shooting, the Dude had me try out his Kimber 1911 .45 ACP. To say I was unimpressed was an understatement; if I hadn't already committed to learning to shoot, I may have walked then.

I took the gun safety class alone where I got to shoot a .22 and M&P9c, rented a bunch of guns, and decided based on research that I wanted a 9mm. The Dude, bless his little heart, was dead set on me doing .40, going so far as to buy a SP2022 Sig in that caliber "for me", despite knowing my stance. While I came to actually enjoy the gun, I knew what I wanted.

I now have a Sig P229 in 9mm and an XDS 9 on the way. I've turned in my paperwork for CCW and am waiting to hear back before taking the class. This is something I pursued myself - heck, it's become something of an obsession these last few weeks.

TL;DR version - Have her pursue it herself. Don't push her, don't buy her anything. If she wants to do it, great, but respect it if she doesn't. Just because she says no now doesn't mean down the road she won't change her mind later, but that's her choice.

Either way, let her know we wish her luck with whatever she decides!