Need advice with helping my Mother into becoming a gun owner.

[West9319]

----------Long Story--------
Short and sweet sum up at the bottom.

My mom has never been either "Pro gun" or "Anti gun". She has always had a live and let live approach to the whole situation respecting the right for self defense and the 2nd amendment but never involving herself in it. She would never allow any in the house growing up feeling it was a safety issue and I'll be honest when I was a teenager I was pretty reckless with my bb guns and paintball markers. (I'm very strict and well disciplined to the point of being anal about firearms safety since I bought my first gun at 19 now, just fyi).

The last couple of years and since I've moved back in the area, my mom has seen how many firearms I own and how safe they and the house can be when everyone does there part in firearm safety. She's also had an attempted brake in at her brother's house which ended the second my uncle drew his .357 and she realized what it meant to be able to defend myself. She would ask me about owning one once every so often but never followed through.

This morning when I saw her before work she told me she wanted to get one. I laughed and said "Ok, how soon are you talking about this time..". She said with a serious face "Now". So she asked if we could sit down later today and help get her squared way.

My own self I've been an assistant at a CCW course, have brought my "Anti gun" wife into the world of being a gun owner who now has more firearms then me. But it was a rough and rocky transition trying to explain everything and help get her in the swing of things. She went from a ruger 10/22 and now has a 12ga, AR15 and had a 10, and CCW's a sig. She also is looking at getting a 1911 soon too... Its a little scary how well she took to all this.

----- The sum up-----

So my mom wants to become a gun owner mainly for self defense. My wife and I have introduced guns to others before but family is sometimes more harder/ stubborn to teach. So my question is, what other methods and techniques are there to help introduce someone who has never touched a gun to being comfortable with them and becoming confident with buying there own firearm soon.

Some issues I have though is our family has a bit of a traditional hierarchy I guess you could say with elder respect and all. I'm an EMT for almost a decade now and it took a major family emergency that had me step in and prove to her I wasn't a kid any more for her to drop the parent being thought by the child situation. So that is one thing I feel may be an issue doing all this. If there was a good learning source for her to learn from first then have me echo it with hands on is usually what works best for us.

What resources do you recommend for times like this? Any videos, write ups, journals? Training courses are kind of out of the question because she's works full time and is pursing her PHD so training time is spread out a little to much to be going to courses.

On a side note I plan on starting out slow with a .22 and work out way up to .380, 9mm, .223, and maybe .45acp the further we go.

[Barang]

I would start with the "4 golden rules", explain them and demonstrate with unloaded gun. Then take her to an outdoor (preferably due to lesser noise) or indoor range and let her experience it first. Then you can move on to proper sighting, stance, etc.

[mosinnagantm9130]

I would start with the "4 golden rules", explain them and demonstrate with unloaded gun. Then take her to an outdoor (preferably due to lesser noise) or indoor range and let her experience it first. Then you can move on to proper sighting, stance, etc.

This^^

Teach gun safety first, at home, preferably with a 10/22 or something else like that there for reference. Show her how to safely handle it (unloaded of course) after she's got the safety part down.

Once the both of you feel comfortable with her knowledge about safety and gun handling that she's learned at home, go to an outdoor range and start with a .22

The first range trip, don't hammer home self defense or trying to shoot the world's smallest groups or anything like that. Make sure she follows the safety rules religiously, and just as imortant, make sure she has fun. If the range allows it, reactive targets are great for this. Balloons, watermelons, cans , clay birds; just anything that makes it obvious if you've hit or missed.

[West9319]

Thanks for the advice

[BonnieB]

Please define "self defense".

Defend against home invasion? A handgun that you use to fight your way to your shotgun. Really.

Concealed carry? A different story. She must choose on her own (see below). If she won't give it the time to carefully select a gun and get proper training, she's not ready and shouldn't carry. One has to set priorities, and knowing what you are doing with a gun ought to be priority one. What is the point of a handgun that you aren't safe with and you can't hit a target with at 10 yards. (Yah, I know the 7 yards is the legal standard...)

Here are some thoughts that I've posted over, and over and over, and most people have agreed, over time.

BonnieB's Tried and True Dissertation on Buying a Gun for Your Wife / GF / Sister / Mother

For the 900th time ! Don't buy a gun for your woman! Let her be a adult and run the process herself.

WOMEN WHO ARE BUYING THEIR FIRST GUN SHOULD DO THESE STEPS INDEPENDENTLY.

She does a handgun safety training with practice firing. At least one full day. NRA's Women on Target is super, especially if there are women instructors.

She commits to practicing at least once a month. If you don't practice you might as well not bother.

She rents several guns in different calibers and tries them out on the range. I know this can get expensive, but it's still cheaper than buying the wrong gun. She selects a gun in a caliber that feels comfortable to her. Bigger is not necessarily better, but she's a grown-up and can probably handle something bigger than .22 Remember, small light guns KICK, not the best choice.

She schedules one or more full-out NRA handgun training session with a reputable instructor, preferably one on one, preferably a woman. At least one full day, more is better. Unless the hubby, BF, etc is a certified NRA Instructor, he should be home watching the ball game that day. Men, do NOT try to teach her to shoot yourself. Teaching a woman to shoot is like teaching a woman to drive and is a relationship-killer.

She goes to a local gun shop, on a Thursday at 2pm (always slow then) with her American Express card visible in her hand and handles as many guns as possible. This is where the hubby if any, BF, SO, sits in the car and listens to the ball game. ( Here's an edit, with a tip of the hat to CSACannoneer, as below: Depending on the woman and her knowledge of firearms at that time, she might (I say "might") be better off bringing a neutral 3rd party with her so that she doesn't get pressured to buy something that isn't for her. The neutral third party should be either a knowledgeable female shooter or a certified instructor who only has a professional relationship with her.). If she doesn't like how she is treated, she leaves and goes to another gun store. That is why she walks in with American Express Card held high, so the sales staff knows she's serious. I have favorite salesmen, and I always get immediate attention in my LGS, because they know I'm a serious buyer if I'm there at all.

She looks at several guns she likes, that feel good in her hand, that is the right caliber to do the job, whatever that job is (self defense, Saturday range dates, etc). She asks for intelligent discussion from the sales staff. No supportive attention or no intelligent help? Walk out of the store! If she finds one or two guns she likes, she summons hubby, BF, SO, whatever, from the car for final approval (if absolutely necessary), and congratulations. Then he goes back to the car and the game. She pays for the gun with her own money.

We've said this again and again. She can handle this. She can be an adult and arrange her own class, preview guns at a gun shop and she should especially pay for it with her own money. I completely support dads, hubbies, BF's and interested friends to go on rental-shooting trips. I do not support them deciding what caliber 'she can handle', dominating the buying process, teaching her how to shoot or poaching on her expensive professional training sessions. If your your wife, GF, sister, mother or best friend doesn't want to do this totally alone, that's OK. You can give gentle advice, support and encouragement. But the more she does alone using the above process, the more ownership she'll have of her guns and the more likely she will be to self-defend or go to the range with you.

What is the proof? Many of us who don't have husbands, BF's, etc., have handled this just fine, all alone, with some advice from instructors and non-related friends. Honest. Tried and True.