Requesting a Wellness Check

[Chewy65]

At what point should I request the local police to make a wellness check? The person is 31, starting a divorce, lives alone off campus, and is having some difficulty in graduate school. He has been receiving professional health for depression for several months. He is now out of medicine and insists he doesn't have the time to make an appointment which he must to get his meds refilled. He does see a therapist weekly. When he first saw a psych back in November, he was almost hospitalized. Last week he was crying in one of the mens room. A month ago I offered to give him money to buy a gun, since he earlier was thinking of getting one due what was going on with the pandemic. When I offered, he told me it was probably not a good idea given how he was so depressed.

If anyone thinks a request for a wellness check is a good idea, how much should I tell the department? This is not in California. (If I can figure a way to reach her, he has a friend whose husband is a Deputy Sheriff there and I will first try to reach them.)

[1911RONIN]

[Chewy65]

1911 RONIN,

1. Very well
2. Not quite, but he goes on and on about how his life is worth **** and he decided it isn't a good idea to have a gun in the house.
3. No.
4. Yes.
5. He is not off medication, but out of it. If there is a difference, I don''t know and I wonder if he was supposed to return to the MD when his meds ran out. I don't believe he is bi-polar, but one of his siblings is bi-polar. There is also history of attempted and completed suicide in his family. Both by firearms and the bi-polar sibling was initially treated when they began carving.

Correction: As per my post #5 below, it sounds as though he was off his medication.

[Lebaneseblonde]

Do it. Nothing wrong let him know that people are concerned enough about him

[Chewy65]

Thank you both. I got the name of a faculty member, the friend whose husband is a deputy, to contact if needed.

As it turns out he either still had a refill pending on his meds or was just non-compliant, but he went back on them. That seems to be helping quite a bit, together with the fact that a professional problem seems to have been averted.

He seemed so much better that I asked if he had thoughts of suicide. He hasn't but he said that he had a period in which he thought of death.

In summary, I see no need for a wellness check as I have been able to get in touch with him and he seems much better. Also, if he makes me nervous I found a way to contact that friend of his whose husband is a local deputy.

[esy]

Majority of people with suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting themselves want attention. They want people to recognize they have an issue and force their help on them, for lack of a better term. Don’t beat around the bush (which it seems you haven’t), ask them do they want to hurt themselves and all that.

Sounds like you’re on the right path though. They know they need help and don’t want to burden anyone else because of the hopelessness they feel. You got to force them into going out, getting some PT in, etc.

[Chewy65]

Thanks. And you are so right about the PT. When things first went South, I flew back and spent a couple of weeks with him while he was getting set up with health care professionals, but it also helped to shoot some hoops. The pandemic and distancing isn't helping any.

[Samuelx]

For my department, anyone can request a welfare check on anyone for any area that we patrol. Response time may vary depending on what else is going on during that date/time.

That being said, IMO - calling LE for a mental illness related welfare check should be a last resort.

Loved ones such as family and friends (who already know the person and his/her situation) will have the best chance at helping someone in crisis and/or who has special needs (e.g. showing love and support, encouraging/influencing them to seek professional help and follow prescribed treatments for care, periodically checking in on them, etc). After that (or better yet in conjunction with family/friends) true mental health professionals - especially someone who is already treating him/her.

LE usually won't know anything about them, or have time to develop a friendship or relationship, and will likely have minimal effect on changing behavior or mindset. And if we do make contact, there's always a chance that something might happen where we have to take immediate action or use some reasonable force (including deadly) to protect ourselves or others.

If you want a quick "yup he/she is still alive" report, we can possibly do that. If you want us to fix in 5-10 minutes something that has been going on for months, years, and/or requires medication to treat - that typically ain't going to happen.

While the above may sound callous, I do sympathize - it's almost always tougher on the family/friends of the people who are experiencing the problems...

[esy]

For my department, anyone can request a welfare check on anyone for any area that we patrol. Response time may vary depending on what else is going on during that date/time.

That being said, IMO - calling LE for a mental illness related welfare check should be a last resort.

Loved ones such as family and friends (who already know the person and his/her situation) will have the best chance at helping someone in crisis and/or who has special needs (e.g. showing love and support, encouraging/influencing them to seek professional help and follow prescribed treatments for care, periodically checking in on them, etc). After that (or better yet in conjunction with family/friends) true mental health professionals - especially someone who is already treating him/her.

LE usually won't know anything about them, or have time to develop a friendship or relationship, and will likely have minimal effect on changing behavior or mindset. And if we do make contact, there's always a chance that something might happen where we have to take immediate action or use some reasonable force (including deadly) to protect ourselves or others.

If you want a quick "yup he/she is still alive" report, we can possibly do that. If you want us to fix in 5-10 minutes something that has been going on for months, years, and/or requires medication to treat - that typically ain't going to happen.

While the above may sound callous, I do sympathize - it's almost always tougher on the family/friends of the people who are experiencing the problems...

[Foothills]

Good to straight-up ask the question, especially if they are feeling better. It would be handy to have the name/contact info for treating therapist and local friends. But it is perhaps more important to just plain keep your promises. In addition everyone I've talked with who has worked with this publication states that people don't commit suicide because you bring up the subject. In fact, it's more likely to be the opposite - a wake-up call that people realize how they must sound in describing the situation.

Max Lucado has a chapter in one of his books about "Lunch with Juan." It is heartbreaking because he had some things come up, got busy, and cancelled the lunch meeting to reschedule for later. "Juan" took his own life that day.

It doesn't mean that you need to be the anchor that saves them. But my take away is that if you commit to something, keep your commitment.

But you might as well tell the truth. I once had a co-worker tell me that people brought me their strange or complicated problems when they were ready to hear the truth, because they knew that I would tell them the truth, even if it's not what they wanted to hear. But I always try to help people think through the next steps so that they can see a path forward. I don't like to leave people in despair with no hope. At least help them see the next step. And I've been surprised how often people faced their situation and at least took the next step, even if it was hard.

[Chewy65]

For my department, anyone can request a welfare check on anyone for any area that we patrol. Response time may vary depending on what else is going on during that date/time.

That being said, IMO - calling LE for a mental illness related welfare check should be a last resort.

Loved ones such as family and friends (who already know the person and his/her situation) will have the best chance at helping someone in crisis and/or who has special needs (e.g. showing love and support, encouraging/influencing them to seek professional help and follow prescribed treatments for care, periodically checking in on them, etc). After that (or better yet in conjunction with family/friends) true mental health professionals - especially someone who is already treating him/her.

LE usually won't know anything about them, or have time to develop a friendship or relationship, and will likely have minimal effect on changing behavior or mindset. And if we do make contact, there's always a chance that something might happen where we have to take immediate action or use some reasonable force (including deadly) to protect ourselves or others.

If you want a quick "yup he/she is still alive" report, we can possibly do that. If you want us to fix in 5-10 minutes something that has been going on for months, years, and/or requires medication to treat - that typically ain't going to happen.

While the above may sound callous, I do sympathize - it's almost always tougher on the family/friends of the people who are experiencing the problems...

That all makes good sense. My concern was the person was alone several hundred miles from me and there wasn't anyone in the area that I could reach. They weren't returning calls and I was concerned that they may not be able to. I have now dug out a contact (his friend married to a deputy) to reach in case a similar situation comes up. The risk from elevating the situation is also something to consider and requesting a wellfare check should be a last resort. At the time it was starting to look like a last resort.

[Samuelx]

No worries, every situation is different and it sounds like you had good reason.