Veteran Needs Forgiveness

[MacDaddy]

I'm not a member of the military, but I had to share this here...

Timothy Kudo, a veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, thinks of himself as a killer. "I can't forgive myself... and the people who can forgive me are dead."

Full story here.

I found Kudo on Facebook and sent him a message of support. If you'd like to reach out as well, here's his page.

I spent the $1 to make sure it goes to his Inbox.

[Superduper2013]

"Kudo never personally shot anyone. But he feels responsible for the deaths of the teens on the motorcycle."

Not sure what to make of that, never been in the military, but seems this guy is a bit dramatic. Maybe someone with combat experience can chime in.

[ducky_0811]

look, everyone handles there experiences differently, within my squad of 12 Marines who experienced a pretty good amount of combat in afghanistan, including personal kills, and Marines being wounded, every single one of my Marines has reacted differently. I have one Marine who was seemingly unphased, while another is about to be medically seperated for PTSD related issues. One person may say over dramatic, another may say, i feel your pain

Personally I feel if you didnt pull the trigger, or call in the fire support, or give the order to fire, you werent responsible. But I am one person and like I said earlier, EVERYONE will react to their own experiences differently

just my .02

[MacDaddy]

Thanks for weighing in Ducky. And thanks for your service.

The bottom line for me is that this guy went public with his pain, and if sending a little message via Facebook will do anything to relieve even the smallest fraction of that pain, it's the least I can do. I think we Americans need to spend more time supporting each other and less time in-fighting. Yeah, wishful thinking, I know.

To be clear, my comment is not directed at you, Ducky. Somehow, I sense you would agree.

[nickyrr]

"Kudo never personally shot anyone. But he feels responsible for the deaths of the teens on the motorcycle."

Not sure what to make of that, never been in the military, but seems this guy is a bit dramatic. Maybe someone with combat experience can chime in.

He may not actually shot anybody but something can be said about his leadership position where he may had to give orders to shoot another. Or even the fact that he witnessed the killing and he felt like he could have prevented the death of those individuals can have an effect on him.

[mark]

I built bombs and missiles while in Iraq and never really put any thought into where they were dropped. Ill go with Ducky I don't feel responsible. I built them the pilots dropped them and bombs went off.

[Manolito]

I did a little time on the ground in Viet Nam and can tell you the Marine summed it up. Each person has to deal with their pain in their own way. The answer in 68 was not PTSD it was no jobs for the Baby killers and half the homeless ended up being people that did time in country.

I don't do facebook so I will tell you here Colonel Grossman wrote a book called on killing. Grossman is a psychologist and a member of special forces. There is a lot in that book that can help put away in a box the crap you carry around years after your time.

There are a lot of things done in war that would be frowned on in polite society and flying people home is a disservice. Many of us went from patrol on Friday and home on Monday. There should be a 60 day slow boat ride home so everybody can come back to society slowly and hopefully with all their faculties.

I would like to say thank you for careing for this guy it is important that the Nation not turn their back on those that stepped forward to serve. My hat is off to you sir.

[LCU1670]

It does change you, you look at things differently, but not nessesarily in a bad way. For me, things that seem dramatic for civilians seems trivial to me. But, other than talk fondly of the military or my buddies, I never talk about what I did, that would cause them to stereotype me, or look at me differently, they don't need to know.

[SGT Loco]

I can't really add anything that Ducky or Mano didn't. Everyone will react differently and those with problems will react and recover in different ways. There's a lot of counseling services out there for us, but some people can only get over their issues by coming to terms with it themselves. I had to justify my actions every day to myself- it was a lot of time spent looking in a mirror. I got lucky. I never did anything that I can't justify, nothing that I can't live with. Some people aren't so lucky, and helping them isn't a simple problem.

With just the information provided in the article, it sounds like a reasonable shoot- the majority of people in the situation probably would have made the decision. But for the person who did make the decision, hindsight is 20/20, and it can be hard to get over. You don't have to pull the trigger yourself to be or feel responsible for someones death. He definitely has my sympathies.

[bodger]

I did a little time on the ground in Viet Nam and can tell you the Marine summed it up. Each person has to deal with their pain in their own way. The answer in 68 was not PTSD it was no jobs for the Baby killers and half the homeless ended up being people that did time in country.

I don't do facebook so I will tell you here Colonel Grossman wrote a book called on killing. Grossman is a psychologist and a member of special forces. There is a lot in that book that can help put away in a box the crap you carry around years after your time.

There are a lot of things done in war that would be frowned on in polite society and flying people home is a disservice. Many of us went from patrol on Friday and home on Monday. There should be a 60 day slow boat ride home so everybody can come back to society slowly and hopefully with all their faculties.

I would like to say thank you for careing for this guy it is important that the Nation not turn their back on those that stepped forward to serve. My hat is off to you sir.

Yep. No jobs for baby killers, and don't even mention you served. I had one professor at Ohio State University tell me that he would prefer it if I would drop his class, and that he felt I did not deserve the "free ride" of the G.I. Bill.
Lucky for both of us I was not carrying my Ka-Bar that day.

[madjack956]

Yep. No jobs for baby killers, and don't even mention you served. I had one professor at Ohio State University tell me that he would prefer it if I would drop his class, and that he felt I did not deserve the "free ride" of the G.I. Bill.
Lucky for both of us I was not carrying my Ka-Bar that day.

Another nugget of wisdom from our education professionals.

[ducky_0811]

Ill second what Loco said about being able to justify your actions. On killing and on combat are great books (a little dry and hard to get through at times) and helped me and my friends understand what we went through and why we were reacting the ways we did.
Being able to justify your decisions and actions is paramount, really glad you brought that up Loco!

[SGT Loco]

Ill second what Loco said about being able to justify your actions. On killing and on combat are great books (a little dry and hard to get through at times) and helped me and my friends understand what we went through and why we were reacting the ways we did.
Being able to justify your decisions and actions is paramount, really glad you brought that up Loco!

No problem. It takes a lot of work though. It is a hard conscious effort to examine your own actions, compare them to your preconceived notions of who you are and your own morality, and come to some sort of conclusion. The fight club line about how you can never really know yourself until you've been in a fight is truer than most people could possibly imagine. In combat, you become your natural self in a way that's almost impossible to describe- and I would imagine any other combat vets here would agree. You can't go through that without it changing your view of yourself in some way. Some just have an easier time with it than others, and I think a lot of the comes from an individuals views of themselves.

But, anyway, I tend to wax philosophical about this ****- sorry


And I keep meaning to read "On Killing", I just never seem to get around to it...

[Sunday]

What exactly does the military do? [with all do respect] Joining the military is more than a job training ,welfare program,you may be asked to go kill someone, that is exactly what the military does.

[SGT Loco]

What exactly does the military do? [with all do respect] Joining the military is more than a job training ,welfare program,you may be asked to go kill someone, that is exactly what the military does.

There's a big difference between the hypothetical "I may have to kill someone" and actually coming to terms with having done it.