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The dumb things we do in the Military thread

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  • coyote43g
    Member
    • Oct 2010
    • 309

    The dumb things we do in the Military thread

    Share some of your stories, or stories that you've heard that happened during your tenure in the Military. It can be anything from drunken nights, an E-1/E-2 having a chesty puller stack (ribbobs and medals) that they never earned or anything of that sort. I know you all have stories that you want to share.. I'll start.

    I am sure most of you have done something of this sort during your bootcamp/basic training where your Drill Instructors/Sergeants made you guys do some stuff during the duration of your initial training. Anyway, during our second phase of training. The competition between the platoons in our company became intense. After our lunch chow, we were marched back to our barracks and as we were marching back, the other platoon was marching towards the chow hall. Our drill instructor had this idea of going back to the barracks and check to see if there was a firewatch in the other platoon's barracks. When he confirmed that no one was there, he instructed us to go inside their barracks and "take care of business". So all of us charged inside their barracks and ripped off all the linens off of their racks. We tore up the name labels out of their foot lockers and stacked it all up in the middle of the room with all their sheets. They also left their guide on inside the room so we erected their guide on in the middle of the mess (Ala Iwo Jima). We only had 5 minutes to do this because we had to clean up our weapons before we went back on the range. The place was an absolute mess. About 30 min later, the drill instructor of the other platoon came in to the room. He told us that we just started the war and we better be prepared to face the consequences of our action. Our DI denied everything and told us not to say anything. Needless to say, war did ensue during the rest of our time in MCRD San Diego/Pendleton.

    Good times!
    For a combat soldier, the difference between success and failure is your ability to adapt to your enemy. The people that we deal with, they don't care about the rules. All they care about is a result. My job is to stop them from completing their objective, at all costs.
  • #2
    thebloodsonthewall
    Senior Member
    • Mar 2007
    • 1143

    I was at NTC (pre-deployment training in CA) and I was stuck on a hill doing re-trans. It was myself and two other guys on a hill for 7 days. We had nothing to do and it was freezing cold out. One of the guys slept in the Humvee during night and a mouse ran across his chest and he freaked out. After that he slept on top of the truck. We were so board we built a waist high rock wall around the truck to give us something to do. I also built a rock castle around my cot and strung my poncho across to the top of it. It was windy, almost to the point of knocking me off my cot before I build my castle.

    After about 4 days one of the other guys was standing on the edge of the hill yelling at the OC's that were driving past. Calling them all kinds of names and junk for about 2 hours. The road they were driving on was over 2k away. It was pretty funny.

    That was probably the longest week of my life. We had nothing to do except sit in the truck and listen to radio traffic. We couldn't have our cell phones or anything. Just sit there all day.

    Comment

    • #3
      coyote43g
      Member
      • Oct 2010
      • 309

      The following video was taken at AP Hill during a 2 week long exercise. Me and my Gunny were making our rounds to the support units around the camp. We headed for the ASP (Ammo Supply Point) to pick up some 5.56 for our next range exercise. We come to discover that our boys have been rather bold and built up their very own catapault.

      For a combat soldier, the difference between success and failure is your ability to adapt to your enemy. The people that we deal with, they don't care about the rules. All they care about is a result. My job is to stop them from completing their objective, at all costs.

      Comment

      • #4
        Boone
        Junior Member
        • Oct 2010
        • 60

        I'd say this guy is pretty funny.

        Comment

        • #5
          Maddog5150
          I need a LIFE!!
          • Feb 2006
          • 10526

          My JAG lawyer told me not to talk about it till after I get out. But its pretty ****ing funny
          Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!!

          For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge"
          Note: I did not write the above article.

          Any carpenters in Socal want a side project?

          sigpic

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          • #6
            Fjold
            I need a LIFE!!
            • Oct 2005
            • 22764

            I once spent 86 days in a row underwater.
            Frank

            One rifle, one planet, Holland's 375




            Life Member NRA, CRPA and SAF

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            • #7
              OneSevenDeuce
              Senior Member
              • Jun 2010
              • 2288

              Originally posted by coyote43g
              The following video was taken at AP Hill during a 2 week long exercise. Me and my Gunny were making our rounds to the support units around the camp. We headed for the ASP (Ammo Supply Point) to pick up some 5.56 for our next range exercise. We come to discover that our boys have been rather bold and built up their very own catapault.

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWrAvV5F71o
              Well, it's more of a trebuchet.
              What do you mean my birth certificate expired?

              Comment

              • #8
                OneSevenDeuce
                Senior Member
                • Jun 2010
                • 2288

                You want to know about ingenuity?

                The toilet in the barracks room I shared with my best bud was always clogged up. One night while we were drunk he decided to find out why. He unscrewed the toilet, lifted it off whatever they are connected to, and pulled out the culprit. A pair of scissors. Don't ask me how they got in there. Anyway, he went to put the toilet back on and I heard a huge crash. I stumbled drunkenly into the bathroom to see what happened and there he was, sitting on the floor with a toilet seat shattered right in half. Several hours, bloody hand prints, and tubes of super glue later, the toilet was once again in one piece and working perfectly. Never underestimate a drunk Grunt.
                What do you mean my birth certificate expired?

                Comment

                • #9
                  KevinXT
                  Member
                  • Jul 2009
                  • 188

                  Originally posted by Boone
                  I'd say this guy is pretty funny.

                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhsblayR_fQ
                  LMAO!! thats good stuff right there

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    11Z50
                    Banned
                    • Sep 2002
                    • 1997

                    I always thought it was stupid that drive around with our lights on during day and off at night.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      KCDS
                      Senior Member
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 527

                      trip ticket for a truck not even leaving the motor pool

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        thebloodsonthewall
                        Senior Member
                        • Mar 2007
                        • 1143

                        Or fobbits that want to re-enlist/get promoted somewhere off the FOB.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          DougJ
                          Senior Member
                          • Jan 2009
                          • 1812

                          As long as I've been in? The list is to large for the human brain to fully comprehend, kinda like interstellar distances...
                          01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01001110 01001111 00100000 01001100 01001111 01001110 01000111 01000101 01010010 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01101100 01111001

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                          • #14
                            CWUSCG
                            Member
                            • Dec 2009
                            • 426

                            The first funny thing that happend to me was in bootcamp around week 2. Our C.C(Company Commander) came in blaring the loudspeaker and the bright lights came on. Everyone jumped to attention. Unfortunately for me, I must have been having a good dream or something, and woke up with a hard on. I was facing inboard and as my C.C walks past, he gets in my face: "SEAMAN RECRUIT (lastname) WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Imediately knowing whats happening, I kinda stammer out "CHIEF (last) I DO NOT KNOW" I'm thinking to myself, oh man this is not happening.....

                            We had just had seamanship class the day prior so Chief asked again what my problem was. And without missing a beat i sound off "CHIEF! MY RUDDER IS AMIDSHIPS!!" The whole company was trying not to laugh, girls too. Chief just put his head down and walked away. I could tell he was trying not to laugh. It was awesome.
                            Last edited by CWUSCG; 10-30-2010, 11:07 AM.
                            UNITED STATES COAST GUARD.
                            Will surf for money.

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                            • #15
                              Matt C
                              Calguns Addict
                              • Feb 2006
                              • 7128

                              2am Golf cart racing, followed by chasing of golf carts by MP vehicles, followed by chasing of MPs by golf carts, followed a series of MP vehicle vs golf cart "chicken" matches. Did I mention all this took place on the golf course? The golf course people were NOT happy then next morning. Suspects were never identified...
                              I do not provide legal services or practice law (yet).

                              The troublemaker formerly known as Blackwater OPS.

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