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The Military Rank Structure:
1. A General = Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.
2. A Col = jumps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful that a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to God.
3. A Lieutenant Col = hops short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster that a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.
4. A Major = Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.
5. A Captain = Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle and talks to animals.
6. A First Lieutenant = Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.
7. A Second Lieutenant = Falls over door sill when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the choo-choo," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
8. An NCO = Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, freezes water with a single glance.... and is God.
1. A General = Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.
2. A Col = jumps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful that a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to God.
3. A Lieutenant Col = hops short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster that a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.
4. A Major = Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.
5. A Captain = Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle and talks to animals.
6. A First Lieutenant = Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.
7. A Second Lieutenant = Falls over door sill when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the choo-choo," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
8. An NCO = Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, freezes water with a single glance.... and is God.
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