Website blocking software (not what you're thinking)?

[Baeleron]

There's actually very little you can do to prevent a legally responsible adult from spending his own money. Threaten divorce, be convincingly believable, and be ready to follow through.

[AreWeFree]

Plenty of good advice in here and I really hope he gets help. I think the suggestions above to set up an OpenDNS account and block shopping/auction (then set dns server on adapter) would help and you can also set up parental controls in anti-virus (like eset smart security) and password protect the settings. Filtering on the router is also helpful.

There are many plugins for Firefox which will help. Install Adblock and Noscript too, that'll really tick him off the best.

Maybe all of this will just create more friction though, especially if he finds out and then feels that everyone is against him, etc.

A medical evaluation is reasonable, but he's a grown man and you can't force him, although if that's what he needs I hope you can convince him to go. Might try spending a day with him, lunch, doctor appointment, movie, go to a batting cage or play miniature golf.

What about any hobbies that aren't as expensive as these crazy spending sprees? Something that he would enjoy and keep his mind busy?

[Jason95357]

If OpenDNS has a shopping/auction, that's a way to help at home.

But what of a Smartphone or tablet? McDonald's, Starbucks, etc. all have free wifi.

What a horrible situation. The only legal way I see to have stopped this would have been a divorce filing and a court order stopping/blocking his access to spending their joint funds until things can be split at the end of the divorce. Not that she really wants to divorce him, but at least it could help them keep half their assets.

[mikeyfromsd]

My mom did this and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Does he have mood swings and operate some days on a couple hours of sleep? Does he remember buying everything? Does he seem really happy when he buys this stuff and then a day or so later seem depressed?

Blocking websites is just a band-aid on what can be a bigger issue.

[Brianguy]

you can set opendns to block shopping and auction sites

[sl0re10]

also I've seen results from 'switching' habits. A friend stopped smoking by buying these sugar free breath mint drops at liquor stores and would take a few drops when he had the urge to smoke.

I drink a lot of diet soda instead of eating.

That kind of stuff. Also; people have an instinct to make 'stuff'. I used to manage a computer network which in my mind was my creation so to speak. Now that I do more tech support for others that do this; I reload ammo... I reblue and fix up rifles... et cetera. If you could steer it to something productive and less expensive....

last point; are his projects over his head? hence the buying and not finishing? I've had it happen a couple times btw. I bought the stuff for a project but found I didn't have the natural talent required for it (fiberglass working). But on other stuff (reloading, wood working, sheetrocking, et cetera); I took to it and became good at it quickly. but; if he wants to build something is there anything you could do to get him going on it? If your lucky he'll either get it done or see he can't do it.

[Iknownot]

I don't want to add gas to your fire, but please consider that sporadic compulsive behavior can be an early sign of certain kinds of dementia and even Alzheimer's. Get him checked by an MD knowledgeable in such things.

Don't just treat the symptoms because they can manifest themselves in other ways.

I was going to say the same thing. Get your pops checked out.

[sl0re10]

As an immediate, free "fix" go into the router and shutdown port 443.

This will pretty much put an end to any online spending (for all users of the pc) while leaving the vast majority of the internet accessible with few exceptions.

Good luck!!

good idea. +1

[sl0re10]

Well my mother manages their internet and phone service so she could definitely do that. I don't know what to do about everything he's bought though, hopefully most of it can be auctioned off for some of what he spent. I may have to get other relatives involved though since he will fight and kick/scream to keep this stuff.

If Open DNS has a shopping section it would probably be the easiest.

If they don't or he is good enough on a computer to slide around that; fortinet makes some routers with a well developed set of blocking categories. The lower end ones are not too expensive. They're what a bunch of places use to block calguns...

I spent all day fighting with a corporate product to do the same thing... it also has shopping and other buying on the internet sections (to keep people from spending all day buying personal stuff at work)... its bullet proof (has an agent on the computer you can't remove or do anything to that forces traffic redirection through web based filtering proxies...) but I don't think you can buy just one copy... but if you can't find anything that will get the job I'll check. Just PM.

[Californio]

This is very good advice.

I don't want to add gas to your fire, but please consider that sporadic compulsive behavior can be an early sign of certain kinds of dementia and even Alzheimer's. Get him checked by an MD knowledgeable in such things.

Don't just treat the symptoms because they can manifest themselves in other ways.

[j-shot]

As an immediate, free "fix" go into the router and shutdown port 443.

This will pretty much put an end to any online spending (for all users of the pc) while leaving the vast majority of the internet accessible with few exceptions.

Good luck!!

My mother called me up and asked me about this the other day, apparently my father has been going on these weird multi-thousand-dollar spending sprees on the internet and it has to stop. Other than going into the router and locking out websites what can I do to keep him from searching for and buying stuff compulsively? I would love a piece of software that can lock out keyword searches but all the stuff I'm finding online seems tailored to block porn, not auction websites etc.

[Epaphroditus]

procon latte is a brower add-in that can block lots of things if basic parental controls dont work good enough.

There are router tools that also do blocking. Blacklist amazon, ebay and craig list, etc but where there is a will there is a way (one both sides of the issue).

You can also white list a very small select set of web sites to drastically limit access.

Adblock plus is good to stop ads from popping up which might be present on your white list sites.

[Hoop]

Imagine if some wife came on here and said my husband is buying too much guns/ammo and I want to cut off his internet and cancel his credits cards! The suggestions would be quite different I suspect.

That's not how it is. He's literally gone from owning 4 houses to having one that he may lose in 6 months. He'll drive to another state with a broken foot to buy a planer but he won't go to the doctor. It's cluster****.

[billofrights]

I really don't think there is much you can do. He is a grown man and its his money/credit cards that he is using. Don't really think that you can legally do anything unless you have power of attorney.

He is a free American and has rights despite all the comments suggesting the contrary. He is not your child and you really can't do much in the end except talk with him and your mother.

Imagine if some wife came on here and said my husband is buying too much guns/ammo and I want to cut off his internet and cancel his credits cards! The suggestions would be quite different I suspect.

That's a valid point, but he isn't buying things he really wants, he's just hoarding stuff and letting it sit. That isn't normal. I second the vote to have him checked out by his doctor.

[CAguy]

I really don't think there is much you can do. He is a grown man and its his money/credit cards that he is using. Don't really think that you can legally do anything unless you have power of attorney.

He is a free American and has rights despite all the comments suggesting the contrary. He is not your child and you really can't do much in the end except talk with him and your mother.

Imagine if some wife came on here and said my husband is buying too much guns/ammo and I want to cut off his internet and cancel his credits cards! The suggestions would be quite different I suspect.