Maintaining control over kids & their internet

[sd_shooter]

We have two pre-teen boys. They both have their own Chromebooks now (provided through school) and each have their own cell phones (Wifi only.)

They are becoming self aware and are asking interesting questions. (Why do I get wood? What is fapping? What is pr0n? etc.) It's only matter of time until they figure out that they can simply type any of those questions into google and *poof* - they will be in the gooey world of girly pictures

While I am pleased that they are asking me these things instead of relying on their playground friends I know I must take some steps pretty soon.

Our goals:
- They need to get their homework done
- Homework & household chores must be a priority over games or web surfing at all times
- Having a youtube music player would be good. Kids don't use MP3 players any more.
- We don't want to provide an internet terminal for their eventual web 'explorations'

Any suggestions?
- At this point we're thinking the computers should always be in a public space, like the living room or dining room
- The phones should go in a basket when they get home and stay there
- Haven't solved the youtube music player issue yet. They're going to want to have a player in their room and they'll ask for the laptop or the phone.

[SonofWWIIDI]

I gotta say, I don't envy you.

I have friends in the same situation and they do pretty much what you suggest. All computers are in public places, never in the bedrooms or bathrooms, phones go off and are centralized when at home. Couple of them have a thing wired into the house ("Uma"?) that plays music on command, and will answer some questions posed to it, but with aural not visual response.

Eventually you will have to have the "birds and the bees" talk with them. Again, something I don't envy.

VHS was something that was pretty new for us at about the same age as your boys...we still found ways to look at stuff that was...uh...erotic.

It's gonna happen one way or another. Smart of you to try and get in front of it.

Good luck!

[APV]

There are all kind of parental controls in web security packages. With smart phones access to internet I do not see a reliable way to control internet browsing. Whatever I limit kids can access from their friends devices. Our biggest problem was to stop/limit games addiction. For that purpose we limited use of internet for kids to limited hours through weekdays. They now play occasionally but with no addiction.

[Flyliner]

Way more important stuff to be concerned about then p0rn. Turn on the porn blocker, have "the talk" with them, and realize they will still get/see it.

I'd be more concerned about games addiction and the increasing ransomeware issue. Imagine the kid clicks a link in a spam email, or downloads an infected game/app and BAM! All your machines are encrypted with ransomeware. You lose everything unless you pay potentially thousands of dollars.

I'm blocking p0rn, but will focus more on http/https inspection for virus scanning of all traffic onto my network.

[glock_this]

You can install software that can limit access, usage, amount of usage, time of day usage, what sites they can visit, etc. As well Chrome uses extensions, there might be extensions available for certain control you want.

[sd_shooter]

Way more important stuff to be concerned about then p0rn. Turn on the porn blocker, have "the talk" with them, and realize they will still get/see it.

I'd be more concerned about games addiction and the increasing ransomeware issue. Imagine the kid clicks a link in a spam email, or downloads an infected game/app and BAM! All your machines are encrypted with ransomeware. You lose everything unless you pay potentially thousands of dollars.

I'm blocking p0rn, but will focus more on http/https inspection for virus scanning of all traffic onto my network.

You can install software that can limit access, usage, amount of usage, time of day usage, what sites they can visit, etc. As well Chrome uses extensions, there might be extensions available for certain control you want.

Where do you install this software? Directly on the router? Remember we don't use Windows in the entire house.

[jbj]

Chromebooks are a pain in the DSL! And thru school, really hard to lock down.

Talk to the school admin and make sure that accounts are managed, and that only students emails from their school can inbound (that goes for calendars, groups, etc... We had a problem early on with the school's accounts).

The school Chromebooks have never come home, but I set one up for my oldest and linked her account, but made myself admin on that machine so EVERYTHING had to be approved by me. -Safe Search turned on
-YouTube subscriptions only (I approved and added to the list).

There was more, but eventually I put the kids in Mac OS X as it was way easier to admin, including access and usage times (Windows 10 runs like spyware IMHO, but Win8 is ok if you can do it).

You're smart that usage should be where you can physically see them. Depending on their phones, you can run Meraki MDM and lock them down as well.

Make sure that they understand that under no circumstances are they to share their password with anyone but their parents. And your admin password should be killer (this is where I find Dropbox and 1Password to be invaluable).

Explain to your kids that unless they actually know somebody, they don't know anybody really is online.

Let them know that you trust them, and that the more responsible they show themselves to be, the more privileges they get, but any infractions Will be dealt with swiftly.

It's not that I don't trust my kids, it's that search engines/SEO and online advertising can drop your kid into the wrong place unexpectedly, and they'll want to see what's up.


Sent from 80ms in the future
Jimmy

[Flyliner]

Where do you install this software? Directly on the router? Remember we don't use Windows in the entire house.

I don't use Windows either

It's all done at the router/firewall. They are called a UTM Appliance, Unified Threat Management. I believe that in the near future all home will need one, not just businesses. You can start by researching pfSense & Sophos Home. But honestly, if you are not tech inclined, or not up for several months of learning network engineering then this might not be the route you should take.

Another option is the upper end of the line of Asus routers. The OS on the their routers is ASUSWRT They have network filtering by Trend Micro built in called AI Protection, protection from known malicious websites, malware/virus scanning, parental controls, time scheduling etc... Like all consumer routers Asus has its faults, but its not a bad setup for the consumer market.

Also take a look at OpenDNS Home. I haven't used it, but I do use the OpenDNS servers and have heard good things about the Home product.

As jbj said above, get 1Password or Last Pass going for everyone immediately. Teach your kids how not to become victims of social engineering attacks (being tricked into giving out information). My mother-in-law falls for that stuff all the time. I had to take her laptop away, re-format it, and lock it down so she can not install anything on it herself (non-admin mode).

You also might want to hang out at Small Net Builders, probably get a lot of good info on this there..

[meaty-btz]

Since when is it "their" internet? Are they paying for the access on their own account?
I have trouble figuring out why a kid needs a smartphone today. For communication needs, even with peers they don't need a smartphone. In fact they just need an old school no-camera phone (best w/o cameras because teens+internet+phone cams == epic bad behavior).

As for the chromebook, others have answered that but at home, no wi-fi without permission and temp only. Computer in their own room? Hell no.

It is like asking why things went wrong after you give your kids unlimited access to drugs, guns, etc when they have yet to learn or show the needed maturity level for such privileges.

We have two pre-teen boys. They both have their own Chromebooks now (provided through school) and each have their own cell phones (Wifi only.)

They are becoming self aware and are asking interesting questions. (Why do I get wood? What is fapping? What is pr0n? etc.) It's only matter of time until they figure out that they can simply type any of those questions into google and *poof* - they will be in the gooey world of girly pictures

While I am pleased that they are asking me these things instead of relying on their playground friends I know I must take some steps pretty soon.

Our goals:
- They need to get their homework done
- Homework & household chores must be a priority over games or web surfing at all times
- Having a youtube music player would be good. Kids don't use MP3 players any more.
- We don't want to provide an internet terminal for their eventual web 'explorations'

Any suggestions?
- At this point we're thinking the computers should always be in a public space, like the living room or dining room
- The phones should go in a basket when they get home and stay there
- Haven't solved the youtube music player issue yet. They're going to want to have a player in their room and they'll ask for the laptop or the phone.

[Dubious_Beans]

We have two pre-teen boys. They both have their own Chromebooks now (provided through school) and each have their own cell phones (Wifi only.)

I just bought a new router, a TP-Link Archer C9, and it has some access control features that might be helpful for you. Price is decent at ~$130.

http://www.amazon.com/TP-LINK-AC1900-Archer-C9-Wireless/dp/B00PDLRHFW

You can set times of accessibility, bandwidth control, parental control (block certain websites, etc)
Also has a "guest" network.

Here's a tiny excerpt from the parental control section:
"For example: If you desire that the child PC with MAC address 00-11-22-33-44-AA can access www.google.com on Saturday only, while the parent PC with MAC address 00-11-22-33-44-BB is without any restriction, you should follow the settings below..."

Here's a link to the user manual. Parental control features start around pg 88.

http://www.tp-link.com/resources/document/Archer_C9_V1_UG.pdf

Maybe something like that would be a good start for you.

[Wherryj]

Way more important stuff to be concerned about then p0rn. Turn on the porn blocker, have "the talk" with them, and realize they will still get/see it.

I'd be more concerned about games addiction and the increasing ransomeware issue. Imagine the kid clicks a link in a spam email, or downloads an infected game/app and BAM! All your machines are encrypted with ransomeware. You lose everything unless you pay potentially thousands of dollars.

I'm blocking p0rn, but will focus more on http/https inspection for virus scanning of all traffic onto my network.

Even before the internet, we somehow managed to see it. I don't think that it is possible to keep them away from it.

The ransomeware thing sounds pretty serious. I've heard about police departments having to pay because they couldn't break the encryption when they were hit. Sometimes I've read that they just take your money and leave the computer encrypted. Back ups of important files on hard drives off the system is a key (example: network drive that isn't powered on unless actively doing the backup).

[NicholasMeleeMan]

We have two pre-teen boys. They both have their own Chromebooks now (provided through school) and each have their own cell phones (Wifi only.)

They are becoming self aware and are asking interesting questions. (Why do I get wood? What is fapping? What is pr0n? etc.) It's only matter of time until they figure out that they can simply type any of those questions into google and *poof* - they will be in the gooey world of girly pictures

While I am pleased that they are asking me these things instead of relying on their playground friends I know I must take some steps pretty soon.

Our goals:
- They need to get their homework done
- Homework & household chores must be a priority over games or web surfing at all times
- Having a youtube music player would be good. Kids don't use MP3 players any more.
- We don't want to provide an internet terminal for their eventual web 'explorations'

Any suggestions?
- At this point we're thinking the computers should always be in a public space, like the living room or dining room
- The phones should go in a basket when they get home and stay there
- Haven't solved the youtube music player issue yet. They're going to want to have a player in their room and they'll ask for the laptop or the phone.

I believe you can create supervised user accounts with Chromebook to limit your boys' activities online. But kids nowadays are very curious and tech-savvy. Eventually, they will learn all of those stuff.

[GovGeek]

OpenDNS. Though it'll only work if they're getting connectivity at home on your own connection. I paid for the advance features and it's totally worth it. You get logs of where people are going.

I've been in your shoes, my kid is 21 now though and in the Navy, and she talks like a Sailor now. [emoji6]

I also commend your tendencies. We too made the cellphone stay out of the room and any computer use in a public area of the house. Adjusting course until she became "internet responsible" in her late teens. I made it clear though, that I parent on all mediums including the internet. I let her know that there's almost no privacy on the internet, so whether I'm looking at her stuff or some internet stranger is, she should conduct herself as though she's browsing and uploading to the net using the jumbo screen in time square.

I'd drop hints that I knew if she'd browse naughty stuff, but we're pretty open and she didn't get in any trouble. We just opened the door to talk about it. But then again, this isn't a boy were talking about. Hehehehe


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