Insert French Army Joke Here

[TomHynes]

A soldier using live ammunition instead of blanks wounded 16 people at a demonstration of hostage-rescue techniques in France, officials said.

The Defense Ministry said investigators would look into why real bullets were used during the demonstration at the Laperrine military barracks in the southeast.

The soldier who fired the shots has been detained, Bernard Lemaire, chief of the regional administration in Aude, said on France-3 television. He said the shooting was probably accidental but that it could have been a criminal act.

Four of the wounded were in serious condition, including a 3-year-old. Fifteen were civilians.

President Nicolas Sarkozy's office said he reacted with "horror and deep emotion" to the incident at the base, which houses the 3rd marine infantry parachute regiment.
http://http://www.latimes.com/news/n...0,739424.story

[Crusader]

Wouldn't you kind of, you know... notice that you were loading real bullets into your mags?

Seems strange.

[skyblue]

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The Army.

"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
---Jed Babbin, Undersecretary of Defense during the first Bush administration

Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise your left hand if you don't like the French....
If you are French just go ahead and raise both hands.

What's the difference between a road accident involving a hedgehog and a Frenchman? "There are skid marks before the hedgehog"

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" --- Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --- Rush Limbaugh, Doctor of Democracy

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
---Jay Leno

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
-- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once"
---Missouri Republican Rep. Roy Blunt

French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin was applauded at the Security Council after he spoke out against U.S. war plans Friday. They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for terrorist attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, plastic, and a a white flag around the house.

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Some members of Congress are so upset with this thing with France that they want to impose trade sanctions against French products. They want to ban French products like Evian. And you thought Hollywood celebrities were against the war before....!"

"Germany is now saying that they won't go along with an invasion of Iraq. However, they did say they would go along if the invasion included Poland, France and Belgium." —Jay Leno

House Speaker Dennis Hastert is so angry at France for opposing White House policy on Iraq that he's proposed requiring orange warning labels on every bottle of imported French wine. Let's guess. The warning label will read, Just Two Glasses Could Make Dictators with Mustaches Appear Less Threatening Than They Really Are.
---Argus Hamilton

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

[MrTuffPaws]

Was this their military or foreign legion?

[ohsmily]

A soldier using live ammunition instead of blanks wounded 16 people at a demonstration of hostage-rescue techniques in France, officials said.

The Defense Ministry said investigators would look into why real bullets were used during the demonstration at the Laperrine military barracks in the southeast.

The soldier who fired the shots has been detained, Bernard Lemaire, chief of the regional administration in Aude, said on France-3 television. He said the shooting was probably accidental but that it could have been a criminal act.

Four of the wounded were in serious condition, including a 3-year-old. Fifteen were civilians.

President Nicolas Sarkozy's office said he reacted with "horror and deep emotion" to the incident at the base, which houses the 3rd marine infantry parachute regiment.
http://http://www.latimes.com/news/n...0,739424.story

Don't worry, it's only the THIRD time this has been posted in 2 days.

[tmuller]

"the Frech Army...what's that?"

[kakpataka]

Was this their military or foreign legion?

must ve been foreign legion that's why they did not fit the germans!

[xrMike]

I find this story disturbing on 2 levels:

1. That he could screw up so badly in the first place -- using live ammo instead of blanks.

2. That he shot so poorly that the best he could do was wound 16 differrent people, without a single fatality.

(my 2nd point is not intended to offend -- it's great nobody was killed! -- I just think it reflects very poorly on the guy's training and marksmanship)

[ByTheNumbers]

I think it's rather in poor taste to try and make jokes about this incident. Would it be appropriate for the French to make jokes about yet another wacko, mal-adjusted American kid on medication who shoots up his classmates and teachers? I don't think so.

[rayra]

Nothing funny about it. Looks more like a deliberate terrorist incident, to me.

[hitman13]

same thing happened in 01 i think at pendleton resulting in a young marine dying


not funny at all