Restraining order help

[Subotai]

Wow that sucks! Everything was going pretty smooth until tonight. I was hoping we weren't going to have to get attorneys involved. Guess I was wrong. Can I store all my firearms at a friends or do they need to be technically sold and transferred to a friend?

Transfer them now, not tomorrow.

[stix213]

Transfer them now, not tomorrow.

This ^^^^^

While I'm sure it's been done, the language on the TRO's I've seen does not allow for firearms to be transferred to a "friend". They have to be surrendered to the police or sold to a dealer.

Of course, there is nothing stopping you from transferring them before you are given notice of the TRO.

(crap... just realized this is in the LEO section. *disclaimer- I'm not an LEO)

Because of this ^^^^^

[marksmandowntown]

A lawyer can't really affirmatively stop her ahead of time. (He could, but it would not really be cost effective and the system isn't designed to work that way.) The way to do this is to wait for her to file it and then respond to it. Go to your county courthouse website and look for a divorce mediation program. They work and are usually free or pretty cheap if your case isn't complex.

[Divernhunter]

I went thru this.
1st get all the firearms out of the house and have someone hold them.
2nd When the LE comes to take them tell them they are all gone. They will tell you that you must bring them to their office. Ignor that. I did with advise of a sheriff friend and it worked out fine. Tell them that you sold them to pay bills.
3rd Get a reciept for selling them to people you know. This is easy for C&R guns. The others transfer to your dad/mom with the form from the DOJ site. All reciepts need to be dated before the divorce papers are filed.

Last ---DO NOT wait to see how things are going. GET YOUR FIREARMS OUT OG THE HOUSE! She can do it at any time and the judges willallow it. Here all she has to do is say I am afraid of him and she will get one. You cannot do the same. This will help you when the LE comes knocking on your door at 1AM to serve you and take your firearms.
IF you let the LE take the firearms you may not get them back or not part of them. You may get them back with parts and acc missing. You may get them back all beat up and scratched.
If you can take them out of state even.

[RandyD]

Family Law attorney here. To obtain a DVTRO, your wife needs to complete several forms and a statement of facts supporting that you have done something that necessitates a court imposing a restraining order upon you. If a judge issues a TRO on you, the next step is to serve you. Upon being served a TRO, you must turn over all firearms and ammo to a law enforcement agency or sell them to a FFL. There are no other options. Before a TRO is issued, and if you are not restrained by a family law summons, which contains automatic restraining orders prohibiting you from selling property, you can sell your firearms to someone you trust such as a friend or family member and then buy them back at a later date of your choosing. Once you are served a TRO, I highly recommend retaining an experienced attorney. Do not go with some attorney working for free, you will get what you paid and will regret it. Retaining an attorney now, may give the attorney a chance to contact her and get her into a discussion where her statement could be used against her. At the hearing the TRO will expire, and the judge will decide if a permanent restraining order is required. If a permanent restraining order is issued, it could be in effect for several years, and during that time you will not be allowed to use, possess or own a firearm. If a permanent restraining order is not issued, you can then legally reacquire your firearms. At the restraining order hearing, your wife bears the burden of proof that a restraining order should be issued. The burden of proof required is clear and convincing evidence, which is higher than a preponderance of evidence and lower than a reasonable doubt. Hope this helps.

[Arcaeris]

I have never done anything even remotely close to warrant it! Does she have to have some some sort of proof or something for it or can she just get one and screw me because she is a bi-ch.

I know a couple of people who have had restraining orders against them because their exes were nuts. I've sat through plenty of hearings as part of that, as well, because they call you in random order (not in the order you showed up or anything, at least not every time I went) so you get to see how other people's hearings go.

In probably two dozen hearings I saw, only one RO was ever denied by the judge. And it was because the statement of the 14 year old filing the RO didn't exactly match the statement she had given to the police against her 45year old defendant.

All I can tell you is get a lawyer, and good luck.

[sdlaird]

Family Law attorney here. To obtain a DVTRO, your wife needs to complete several forms and a statement of facts supporting that you have done something that necessitates a court imposing a restraining order upon you. If a judge issues a TRO on you, the next step is to serve you. Upon being served a TRO, you must turn over all firearms and ammo to a law enforcement agency or sell them to a FFL. There are no other options. Before a TRO is issued, and if you are not restrained by a family law summons, which contains automatic restraining orders prohibiting you from selling property, you can sell your firearms to someone you trust such as a friend or family member and then buy them back at a later date of your choosing. Once you are served a TRO, I highly recommend retaining an experienced attorney. Do not go with some attorney working for free, you will get what you paid and will regret it. Retaining an attorney now, may give the attorney a chance to contact her and get her into a discussion where her statement could be used against her. At the hearing the TRO will expire, and the judge will decide if a permanent restraining order is required. If a permanent restraining order is issued, it could be in effect for several years, and during that time you will not be allowed to use, possess or own a firearm. If a permanent restraining order is not issued, you can then legally reacquire your firearms. At the restraining order hearing, your wife bears the burden of proof that a restraining order should be issued. The burden of proof required is clear and convincing evidence, which is higher than a preponderance of evidence and lower than a reasonable doubt. Hope this helps.

Solid advice. Also, do not speak with her in person or over the phone if you can help it. Email is your friend. Send her an email telling her that regrettably she has wrongfully threatened to seek a TRO against you. Document to her in the email that you have never threatened or abused her and her threat is apparently solely out of spite. So, unfortunately, you cannot speak to her in person or over the phone, but only email so that there can be no misunderstanding of any conversations between the two of you.

After sending the email, you must stick to it and not talk with her except via email. This will allow you to accurately document your communications and you can testify under oath (live or by way of a declaration) that the only communications between the two of you from the date of that email forward were in writing and here they are. Good luck to you.

[anthem]

I would do the transfer now. Typically divorces go badly. But you know you r soon to be ex. Will she go through all the hassle of doing it? I'd apologize, nod and smile at everything she says.

If you think this is going to get ugly once you start fighting over possessions (and don't forget, if you acquired any of your firearms post marriage they are half hers) then you should transfer them.

[Michael_Js]

Don't wait! MY ex got a RO based on a text message - that was a Bible quote!! good luck...

[RandyD]

Solid advice. Also, do not speak with her in person or over the phone if you can help it. Email is your friend. Send her an email telling her that regrettably she has wrongfully threatened to seek a TRO against you. Document to her in the email that you have never threatened or abused her and her threat is apparently solely out of spite. So, unfortunately, you cannot speak to her in person or over the phone, but only email so that there can be no misunderstanding of any conversations between the two of you.

After sending the email, you must stick to it and not talk with her except via email. This will allow you to accurately document your communications and you can testify under oath (live or by way of a declaration) that the only communications between the two of you from the date of that email forward were in writing and here they are. Good luck to you.

Excellent advice, and I would add select your words carefully, if the email ends up in court, you want it to make you look good.

[billped]

... and delete this thread.

[RP1911]

We need to sticky RandyD and sdlaird posts. We get these help requests quite a bit unfortunately.

[The Gleam]

Transfer them now, not tomorrow.

I don't agree; IF YOU TRULY BELEIVE SHE HAS NO GROUNDS or supporting documentation, there is no need to go through that hassle unless the TRO actually hits ground. Yet, sure, if you think it's highly likley she will and has any shred of ability to convince the judge, then do it BEFORE the TRO is served on you.

1) There is no guarantee she will file the TRO request.

2) There is no guarantee she will be granted the TRO by request, no matter how many people replying here "think" it is easy to get one though true, less proof is required for the TRO than for the permanent RO. Honestly, I think the reason people think it is so "easy" to get one, is because for many people who are the subject of one, they will tell you "but I didn't do anything". I've heard this from guys who have had the police at their homes numerous times due to their wife calling the police for a suspected abuse/DV disturbance. In that regard, all she needs is their business card they gave her that day that recommended "restraining order". You don't have to be arrested for DV in that regard for that simple police call to serve as support for a TRO.

3) As easy as it is to get a TRO in CA when measurable proof is supporting (and sure, it doesn't have to be much), the judge will STILL take into consideration the quality of the measurable proof, and usually that requires a police report, documented civil issues, filing of DV forms due to proof of supporting domestic violence, and the like. No - you will not simply get a TRO because you have a cordial or amicable disagreement with someone (unless a savvy lawyer adds it to your civil divorce agreement paperwork for their own CYA - look closely for this before signing).

4) If you have no DV issues with your Ex, police never showed at your house to address the same, she doesn't have photos, video, witness that saw you punch her in the mouth at a bar that will support her story, or a social-worker's hospital report to corroborate her stories, she would have to have a newly-made police report to give credible support for why she deserves/needs the TRO.

5) Lots of bad urban-legend and speculation in this thread being peddled, if in fact, nothing in the way of threats, DV, damage to her property, or other abuse on your part was ever recorded, witnessed, filmed, or logged by police.

Yet - If she and fake witnesses decide to perjure themselves, then that is another story.

[The Gleam]

Family Law attorney here. To obtain a DVTRO, your wife needs to complete several forms and a statement of facts supporting that you have done something that necessitates a court imposing a restraining order upon you. If a judge issues a TRO on you, the next step is to serve you. Upon being served a TRO, you must turn over all firearms and ammo to a law enforcement agency or sell them to a FFL. There are no other options. Before a TRO is issued, and if you are not restrained by a family law summons, which contains automatic restraining orders prohibiting you from selling property, you can sell your firearms to someone you trust such as a friend or family member and then buy them back at a later date of your choosing. Once you are served a TRO, I highly recommend retaining an experienced attorney. Do not go with some attorney working for free, you will get what you paid and will regret it. Retaining an attorney now, may give the attorney a chance to contact her and get her into a discussion where her statement could be used against her. At the hearing the TRO will expire, and the judge will decide if a permanent restraining order is required. If a permanent restraining order is issued, it could be in effect for several years, and during that time you will not be allowed to use, possess or own a firearm. If a permanent restraining order is not issued, you can then legally reacquire your firearms. At the restraining order hearing, your wife bears the burden of proof that a restraining order should be issued. The burden of proof required is clear and convincing evidence, which is higher than a preponderance of evidence and lower than a reasonable doubt. Hope this helps.

Dead-on accurate. Better time-line oriented than what I was trying to convey, and better story-devised as to order, but exactly how it goes.

[SactoDoug]

What happens if you do turn your guns over to your local law enforcement? Do they just hold on to it until you can legally have them again? Or do they keep them forever or until you sue to get them back?