The Death of Common Sense --An Obituary

[DartFrog]

This was left in the comments on a news story about two 7 year olds in DC who were suspended for using pencils as guns. Its not mine. I just thought it was humorous. Enjoy. If its a dup, I apologize. original story here: http://washington.cbslocal.com/2013/...ncils-as-guns/

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common
Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; ... - Life
isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not
children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a
6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost
ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves
had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even
further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun
lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student
became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to
live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment
than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for
assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,
and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter
Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers - I
Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim. Not
many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still
remember him, pass this on.

[epilepticninja]

Suhweet and so, so, true.

[Napalm Bulldog]

Tell me about it, I had to sign a paper at my sons school that said we understand that if our child shows up with even a squirt gun , It would be prosecuted as a felony. I was like really? Squirt guns kill?

[CBR_rider]

RIP

[curtru]

Common sense will be but a memory

[freedom-lover]

Tell me about it, I had to sign a paper at my sons school that said we understand that if our child shows up with even a squirt gun , It would be prosecuted as a felony. I was like really? Squirt guns kill?

Why did you sign it?

[russt]

Hey, I have personally seen the damage caused by squirt guns shooting incindiary ammo(hot sauce) don't underestimate the power of a super soaker!

[Napalm Bulldog]

Why did you sign it?

Part of enrollment , I did'nt have my son sign, told them he is a minor and no. It was just a papper they give out stating that they have notified you. Same form includes knives,bombs, hand grenades and severed limbs. All the things you would expect from a state run agency. You have to complete it to enroll.

[freedom-lover]

Part of enrollment , I did'nt have my son sign, told them he is a minor and no. It was just a papper they give out stating that they have notified you. Same form includes knives,bombs, hand grenades and severed limbs. All the things you would expect from a state run agency. You have to complete it to enroll.

What a world we live in

[Batman]

Do a little more digging on the lady with the McDonald's coffee before you pass judgement. McD's served the coffee at 180* as opposed to the normal 140* that most restaurants serve it. They'd been warned previously about serving it too hot, and had even paid medical expenses for others that were scalded. The lady got a lapfull of scalding coffee in her nether regions, so imagine the pain she went through. Put yourself and your nether region in her place and see what you think of what happened. When they asked McD's to reimburse her, they were pretty much told to pack sand. If they'd paid the medical, they would've been off the hook. They didn't, and chose to fight. When they were able to prove that even with the lawsuit going on that they STILL were serving the coffee too hot, that's pretty much when they lost.

Oh, and most of the settlement was set aside by another judge.

[jakejake527]

Common sense is still around....

Americans just love to sue and are emotionally delicate

"A Nation of Wimps" - Time Magazine

[toadman]

Do a little more digging on the lady with the McDonald's coffee before you pass judgement. McD's served the coffee at 180* as opposed to the normal 140* that most restaurants serve it. They'd been warned previously about serving it too hot, and had even paid medical expenses for others that were scalded. The lady got a lapfull of scalding coffee in her nether regions, so imagine the pain she went through. Put yourself and your nether region in her place and see what you think of what happened. When they asked McD's to reimburse her, they were pretty much told to pack sand. If they'd paid the medical, they would've been off the hook. They didn't, and chose to fight. When they were able to prove that even with the lawsuit going on that they STILL were serving the coffee too hot, that's pretty much when they lost.

Oh, and most of the settlement was set aside by another judge.

Oh, I don't know. My Hot water dispenser at work has 2 settings. 204 degrees & 140 degrees. Everybody wants it set at 204 for their coffee & tea cuz 140 is too low. Hmm, maybe I have a potential lawsuit here. I see big $$$ coming my way.

[Steve_In_29]

Do a little more digging on the lady with the McDonald's coffee before you pass judgement. McD's served the coffee at 180* as opposed to the normal 140* that most restaurants serve it. They'd been warned previously about serving it too hot, and had even paid medical expenses for others that were scalded. The lady got a lapfull of scalding coffee in her nether regions, so imagine the pain she went through. Put yourself and your nether region in her place and see what you think of what happened. When they asked McD's to reimburse her, they were pretty much told to pack sand. If they'd paid the medical, they would've been off the hook. They didn't, and chose to fight. When they were able to prove that even with the lawsuit going on that they STILL were serving the coffee too hot, that's pretty much when they lost.

Oh, and most of the settlement was set aside by another judge.

Too hot or not the KEY part should have been that SHE SPILLED IT ON HERSELF and given that, the complaint shouldn't have ever made it to trial. Now had the McDonald's employer spilled it as it was passed to the customer, or had the extra heat made the cup too hot to hold, then yes there would have been a valid reason for a lawsuit.

[A-J]

Do a little more digging on the lady with the McDonald's coffee before you pass judgement. McD's served the coffee at 180* as opposed to the normal 140* that most restaurants serve it. They'd been warned previously about serving it too hot, and had even paid medical expenses for others that were scalded. The lady got a lapfull of scalding coffee in her nether regions, so imagine the pain she went through. Put yourself and your nether region in her place and see what you think of what happened. When they asked McD's to reimburse her, they were pretty much told to pack sand. If they'd paid the medical, they would've been off the hook. They didn't, and chose to fight. When they were able to prove that even with the lawsuit going on that they STILL were serving the coffee too hot, that's pretty much when they lost.

Oh, and most of the settlement was set aside by another judge.

I've read the full story on that, and the OP still applies. What kind of idiot opens a cup of hot ***** coffee and tries to stir in sugar/cream/whatever in a moving vehicle? Even at 140 degrees, it would have caused burns. I have zero sympathy.

[glockman19]

His cousins, "Personal Responsibility", "Honesty" and "Loyalty" made up the morners.