What to do?

[Fatstackz]

My father is in his upper 70's. He also was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago and to be frank, He has began to lose a few marbles. He has kept his trusty wheel gun around while traveling the country in the RV. He has since gave up driving the RV ( too many accidents) but, wont give up the gun. My mother is worried that some day he may hurt himself or someone. I am too. I hate to make it ugly so Im listening to ideas.
I thought about either asking him to give it to me as a gift or buy it. If that fails, I had thought about possibly rendering the ammo useless somehow. The outside chance his fairly secured home is invaded, he find the weapon, the key, and actually make a sound decision of whether to eliminate a perp is unlikley at best.
God forbid he unloads on a relative someday.

What would you do? Or better yet, what have you done?

[TimRB]

Does he know he has Alzheimer's? Does he understand what that means? The answers to these questions notwithstanding, this may be time for some tough love. If it were my father I would take the gun. If he can't think clearly he should not be using a gun for self-defense.

Tim

[whipkiller]

My father suffered from dementia/Alzheimer's as well.

I'm sorry about your dad, it's a tough thing to watch a man's mind start to betray him.

My dad was not a gun enthusiast, but if he had been there was a point where we would have definitely had to take it away form him, just like we took his car & house keys.

The trick will be doing it in such a manner that he either doesn't know or doesn't get upset about it. IMHO, the best way would be if he gifts it to you willingly, because you tell him "how much it would mean to you, and how honored you would be to carry your dear old Dad's sidearm".

Best of luck to you, sir.

[acaligunner]

Well whatever you do just be kind and respectful, Because it can take a lot of work on your part to trade, buy, or make him give up his firearm. Just go in with the attitude that your going to have to do what you know is right.

I know what your going thru, and it takes a lot of time and thought on your part to help him/her.

Your doing the right thing for his, as well as your families safety.

Things change in this life, and sometimes it's not always for the Good, but I think he would have wanted a responsible son to do what is safe, and right for the family.

acaligunner

[johnthomas]

Things change in this life, and sometimes it's not always for the Good, but I think he would have wanted a responsible son to do what is safe, and right for the family.

acaligunner

It could not have been said any better.

[stillwater562]

My grandmother had it back in the early 80's before it was really well known, its a scary thing to watch, your loved one losing their memory, that being said, get that gun away from him at all costs, before something tragic happens, its not worth any one getting hurt because he forgot how to handle the gun or decides to take his or somebody elses life, alot of people that have alzheimers get angry and think people are stealing from them and turning on them, its best to be safe, find a way to get it from him. -I hope everything turns out for the best -Stillwater

[taloft]

I lost both my maternal grandparents to Alzheimer's. It is a terrible thing to deal with. I truly understand your concerns and wish you both the best. There will come a point when he won't recognise anyone in the family. You need to get the firearm out of his control asap or he may well shoot one of you thinking you're an intruder. Stillwater has the right of it. Alzheimer's patients can become very paranoid, angry, and violent. Be respectful but, do what it takes. Maybe his doctor can help explain to him why he needs to surrender his sidearm. Good luck.

[Fatstackz]

Thank you all for the solid advice. Even more thanks for the support. I think everyone feels that they would do the same thing or, has done the same thing. Thanks again.

[Woodworker2]

There is a good book to help start understanding what your father is experiencing and how you can help. It is called "The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People with Alzheimer Disease, Other Dementias, and Memory Loss in Later Life" by Nancy L. Mace.

It is hard to tell what reaction you might get; it could be "sure, take the gun its yours" all the way to an outright refusual to do anything. Having a non-family authority figure (like his medical doctor) advise him to give the pistol to you can really help. His medical doctor is a great resource when dealing with ideas such as: not driving anymore, getting extra help at home, moving into assisted living, etc.

[Fatstackz]

There is a good book to help start understanding what your father is experiencing and how you can help. It is called "The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People with Alzheimer Disease, Other Dementias, and Memory Loss in Later Life" by Nancy L. Mace.

It is hard to tell what reaction you might get; it could be "sure, take the gun its yours" all the way to an outright refusual to do anything. Having a non-family authority figure (like his medical doctor) advise him to give the pistol to you can really help. His medical doctor is a great resource when dealing with ideas such as: not driving anymore, getting extra help at home, moving into assisted living, etc.

Thanks, I'll take a look for it this week end.

[CaliforniaLiberal]

Tough times.

Went through a similar difficulty getting my mother to give up driving. She was clearly unsafe to herself and the rest of the world but insisted on driving to her usual errands. She has been slowly losing her mind for about ten years and lives in a nursing home now.

Loading your dad's gun with duds will keep him from shooting someone but won't protect him from a cop thinking that your dad is about to shoot him.

Tough times.

[redcliff]

I'm sorry for your situation, I'm dealing with some of the same issues and its awful.

How about asking him if you can borrow it to go shooting. Then forget to bring it back. He may not even remember loaning it to you after a week or so.

[Fatstackz]

Does he know he has Alzheimer's? Does he understand what that means? The answers to these questions notwithstanding, this may be time for some tough love. If it were my father I would take the gun. If he can't think clearly he should not be using a gun for self-defense.

Tim

Yes he does, on both accounts. He has watched his older brother and father both be destroyed by the awful tricks it plays on their minds. Thats what scares me the most. I just hope that he won't think he isdoing us a favor by taking his life one day.

[Fatstackz]

My mother has managed to hide the ammo, the keys , the weapon, all in some really random and obscure places. He seems to have forgotten about it for awhile. Not much chance he would ever be able to be a danger. We have decided to leave it at that for the moment as to not bring it up and get him on the prowl.

Thanks all, I wish you all of you in the same boat the best luck in your tough times as well.