taking a pistol away from my mom.

[packnrat]

my mom is getting old and weak, so just to cover a possible problem what is needed to do if i take it away from her and she does not like it?
i would like to believe she would surrender it to me with no problems. but just covering a "possible" here.
she has become the help i have fallen and can not get up lady. and has not taken it to a shooting range in a good year. probably not even seen the light of day for longer.



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[jshoebot]

Talk to her about it first. Ask her if she truly believes she can still use it if needed, and use it in a competent manner.

[Joe]

Being old and weak is not a good reason to disarm her.. If anything she could use more guns.

[johnthomas]

She could be the type that calls 911 and says, send help, I shot a robber and he can't up.
If you think the gun may harm her or she has indicated suicidal intentions, then yes, give it a try.
If you just want to take it away just in case she can't pull the trigger, taking the gun away is taking away what could be her last chance at life if an intruder has their way. At the least, you will be taking away her only security she feels she has left. Tough spot your in, how old is your mom?

[locosway]

I see no reason to disarm her. Even if she can't pull the trigger, it may make her feel better knowing she has a weapon. Also, what she can't do now, she may be able to do in a life or death situation. Pain, weakness, self preservation, a lot of that goes right out the window when faced with horrible situations. She may just surprise you..

[rockman]

Let her be. Older people seem to have more fears as they get less able to defend themselves. If anything talk to her and get her a gun she can operate easier!

[packnrat]

well thanks for not answer the question.

i do not want to disarm my mom.
i was asking about if a legal way to do so. not moral problems.
yes i am worried about her heath (and her safety) soon she might have to be in a care hospital, just so someone can keep a eye on her 24 - 7.
as for her using said gun she probably could not get to it any how, as she keeps it in a small lock box on the floor and she can not stoup to open said.
the meds she takes knocks her out for 12 hrs a day aka over night. nothing is going to wake her up.
some of her choices of late scare me, i am worried for her safety. gun or no gun. some times having a gun around gives one false security.

[packnrat]

Talk to her about it first. Ask her if she truly believes she can still use it if needed, and use it in a competent manner.

reread the second half of line three on my posting.

[locosway]

well thanks for not answer the question.

i do not want to disarm my mom.
i was asking about if a legal way to do so. not moral problems.
yes i am worried about her heath (and her safety) soon she might have to be in a care hospital, just so someone can keep a eye on her 24 - 7.
as for her using said gun she probably could not get to it any how, as she keeps it in a small lock box on the floor and she can not stoup to open said.
the meds she takes knocks her out for 12 hrs a day aka over night. nothing is going to wake her up.
some of her choices of late scare me, i am worried for her safety. gun or no gun. some times having a gun around gives one false security.

Intra-family transfer, problem solved.

"Yes mother, you DID transfer it to me for safe keeping, don't you remember?"

[Mute]

If you're talking about taking it against her will, you're going to have to legally declare her incompetent. As the others have said, I don't see how her weakened condition makes her gun a threat to her or anyone else it's not intended to be a threat towards.

[41M]

I would recommend having a conversation with her about who she would like to have it and maybe plan a day at the range. Even if she doesn't shoot, perhaps just seeing who is going to receive it get a chance to shoot it in her presence would make her more inclined to pass on ownership sooner than later.

[Rivers]

We ran into that issue with my mom in the 2-3 years before she passed. Bad arthritis, getting more frail, alright on her own for more than an hour became questionable, etc. She had serious issues with her hands and she knew that she was less physically able to protect herself. So she wanted her Colt .25 Auto back (we had put it in the gun safe with its brethren.) It was obvious that she didn't have the strength to use the gun properly.

We offered some more practical alternatives. First, we got monitored security for the house. She also had one of those "Help, I've fallen and can't get up" services. I think it was Senior Safety. When she actually had a fall, just going from the dining room table to the kitchen (15'), the service worked as hoped. It also helped when any unusual sounds happened. We told her to activate the service so someone else could hear what was happening, before any door got opened. The speaker was loud enough to suggest at least one more person was inside the house.

For bedside and a couple other places in the house, we had both pepper spray and those obnoxious small marine horns that are banned from stadium events. Bad people don't like loud noises drawing attention to the location. And we asked the neighbors to be aware if they heard someone laying on that horn, please check out the house or call 911.

If the OP's mother already has the gun and the problem is getting her to relinquish it, offer the above options. None of them are going to be tragic if medications or medical conditions cause dementia. The OP won't have to worry about misuse (suicide) - but avoid even mentioning that topic. Work around it and keep the talk positive in how the options are more beneficial to her. And be prepared to cover the added cost - which you will likely under-disclose if pushed to disclose at all.

[bruss01]

First, if she's suicidal, just take it and put it somewhere safe, like a locked safe that she does not have the combination to. If she discovers it missing and decides to report you for theft, tell her that's fine, she can call 911 and have them come out, and then you will be waiting there to give them (as Paul Harvey says) THE REST OF THE STORY.

If it's just that you're concerned she might die, leaving the ownership of the firearm in question, she can do an interfamilial transfer to you so there's no worry about it being held up in probate or someone else in the family getting their mitts on it.

If you think she is verging on dementia/senility and question whether she might mistake you for a robber, or start shooting at robbers that aren't there... I would take the gun and hide it, again, see paragraph one.

If it's just that you think she's a feebe and shouldn't have a gun... well, I for one can say I don't want to be old and defenseless, and have someone stripping away the last of my fundamental rights. Would you? To involuntarily take away her gun you would have to get her declared incompetent... and that comes with some baggage. For one, it's not easily reversed if she should (however unlikely) show some dramatic improvement in the future. She might also be resentful - I know I would be. Are you prepared to deal with that?

Yes, I know, when our parents get old and start losing their former abilities (like driving) it's a tough time, sometimes hard choices have to be made with no clear, good answer. I don't envy your situation. I don't know what your mom's association with shooting is... hell, for all I know, she won the olympic shooting competition in 1956 and has been an avid competitive shooter all her life. Or she could have a rusty revolver in a sock drawer that's been there 50 years and never fired, and it's more of a magic amulet sitting there, warding off crime all these years. It might have an emotional significance to her that you are unaware of... for instance, long before you were born, it was given to her by a lover who then went off to war and was killed in action, and it's all she has left to remember him by. Only you know the answers to these things, and the potential consequences of relieving your mother of her firearm. I wish you good judgment and good luck.

[Mickey D]

Sounds like you have made up your own mind, and looking to validate your decision.

[pepsi2451]

I'm still not sure why you want to take it from her. If you want to legally take if from her against her will I would think you would need a good reason. Her being "weak" doesn't seem like a very good reason, actually it seems like all the more reason for here to have a gun.

If you believe she may shoot someone or herself by mistake that is a different story.

I don't think anyone is going to be able to give you an answer until you give your reasons why you don't think she should have it.