Need advice: Should I give the gun safe combo to my teenage son?

[Maltese Falcon]

Other CGers give good advice... I know when I was 15, what my friends did or didn't do had a big effect on my own behavior, what kind of crowd does he hang around with, does he get good grades, etc., look at the sum total of influences on your son.

[gun toting monkeyboy]

Only you can judge his maturity level. That being said, I don't see the need to give him combo to the safe at this time. Give him a chance to earn that privilege.

If he is 15 I say buy him his own shotgun with some way for him to lock it up. Then have a serious talk about responsibility and the defensive use of a firearm. Talk about the stupidity of letting others, even friends, know about it. Explain to him that if he breaks your trust regarding this, not only will he lose the shotgun but, the next time he touches a firearm will be when he is old enough to buy his own. This will give him the opportunity to show you he isn't going to do something really stupid when you're not around. If he does drop the ball, at least your collection is still locked away.

After all, he'll be old enough to drive soon. He's going to have access to the dangerous toys sooner or later. It might as well be on your terms.

There is no reason to give a 15 year old basically unlimited access. Especially if there are handguns. Teenagers are noted for their lapses in common sense. And the possibility of him taking a handgun to show off to his friends, however remote you may think it is, would be enough to concern me as a parent. With the zero tolerence policies at most schools these days, he could screw his whole future up that way. Why risk it? If you had to ask, as the others have said, you probably shouldn't. That being said, if you feel he is ready for a long gun, and want to set up a small safe for him to put it in in his room, you could go that route. Let him earn your trust that way. As for the SHTF situations when your aren't there, give the combination to your wife. She can open the safe if it comes to that.

-Mb

[eldy]

I don't have any kids, but having gone through that stage in my life and now being able to see with perspective how my friends and I acted at that age, my vote would be an emphatic "no."

Kids are very resourceful and are able to hide a lot of things from their parents.

You mentioned that there is not a high probability of crime in your neighborhood. I believe that means that there is then a higher probability of your son, maybe under the influence of his friends, to create a danger when one normally would not statistically exist.

[Gator Monroe]

If I would trust my son around my Girlfriend ,then yes .

[Gryff]

I have a son in high school who's been to the range many times and trained on proper gun safety. He's well balanced, good student, sports etc but of course has his grumpy days. My shooting friend who also takes my son to the range says I should have my son know the combination to the gun safe for emergency reasons, or when I'm out of town, or just in case. We live in a pretty safe neighborhood btw, and guns are never kept loaded in the safe but loaded magazines in there.

I'm hesitant to do this. Any advice? Anyone have a similar situation? I could give the combo to my wife (not gun trained) so she could give to him in an emergency as an alternative.
Thanks.

There is the occasional kid out there that can be trusted with this responsibility, but the fact is that teens OFTEN exhibit poor judgment while thinking that they have everything under control. And the problem often isn't that your kid is going to do another Columbine, but that they let information slip to friends, or they make that bad decision to show off a gun to a buddy...and then things spiral out of control.

Remember that most kids instinctively think they are going to live forever. They don't grasp their own mortality, so they don't truly understand why excessive caution is necessary when mistakes mean that someone's life is over.

I love my kids, and consider them very responsible. But there is no way I'm sharing my safe combo with them until they are clearly adults emotionally. I'm not willing to accept the inherent risks of allowing them free access to my firearms just so that they are not inconvenienced.

[Turbinator]

Also, if your son brings friends over, that might also be a consideration.

"Dude, I heard your Dad has guns!"

Definitely a concern. And if these kids pressure your son into giving up the combo, it's all over.

Turby

[berto]

You have some doubts or you wouldn't be asking. Go with your gut. I'm sure your kid is great but he's still a kid and still subject to having a WTF!? moment. Peer pressure or the desire to show off are powerful motivators for 15 year old boys and sometimes lead to even the best kids doing something out of character.

[Olav]

If you need to ask us: No.

[elSquid]

Warning: random reminiscence about to happen.

~25 years ago I grew up in a small town where a lot of people owned firearms. Gun safes weren't common. People had wall racks, closets, and the occasional glass-fronted wooden gun cabinet. I, like a lot of my peers, had basically unfettered access to firearms. It was never an issue.

As a group, are teenagers less responsible today than they were back then?

Does the OP have a genuine concern, or is his fear a reflection of how current society generally views firearms? I don't know.

-- Michael

[Joe]

I say no.

I agree with what was posted before about teenagers having problems with judgment sometimes. And the fact that you had to ask us.

Wait till he's 18-19. Or at least until he's out of high school.

[lorax3]

Only you can judge your son's character. You would not be a 'bad father' if you decided to wait.
If you do decide to let him have access, remind him to never show or tell his friends he has firearms in the house. That gun is only for defense purposes. Remember, if one if his friends gains access to your gun and causes harm you may be held responsible.

12035 PC The crime of "criminal storage of a firearm of the first degree" if
he or she keeps any loaded firearm within any premises that are under
his or her custody or control and he or she knows or reasonably
should know that a child is likely to gain access to the firearm
without the permission of the child's parent or legal guardian and
the child obtains access to the firearm and thereby causes death or
great bodily injury to himself, herself, or any other person.
(2) Except as provided in subdivision (c), a person commits the
crime of "criminal storage of a firearm of the second degree" if he
or she keeps any loaded firearm within any premises that are under
his or her custody or control and he or she knows or reasonably
should know that a child is likely to gain access to the firearm
without the permission of the child's parent or legal guardian and
the child obtains access to the firearm and thereby causes injury,
other than great bodily injury, to himself, herself, or any other
person, or carries the firearm either to a public place or in
violation of Section 417.

[MontClaire]

I wouldn't. he is not 21.

[colddeadhands]

we never had a gun safe till I was about 19, even then I had the combo because my dad could never figure out how to open the safe. I had always been around guns and taught all the rules, same for my brothers. It wasn't an issue.

[fal_762x51]

I grew up with the .22 and shotgun in my closet, in fact all my friends did. The age thing is a moot point because there are 30 years that shouldn't handle sharp pointed objects, let alone a firearm. You need to be the judge.

What about getting him a stack on cabinet in his closet with a .22? It'll give him a sense of maturity and that a parent trusts them. Build the trust up with a small token and see were it goes from there. Remind him that if he does anything stupid with it you'll leave his butt out to dry and the kiddie jail does suck. This is just my opinion.

[pewpewguns]

No, don't make your son responsible for something like that..
My parents always told me they didn't want me to be in danger by being given the combination... Its unlikely but someone might "capture" your child and get the number out of him.