Divorce, restraining order, court order and a crazy wife

[HUTCH 7.62]

I've been married for a long time. But if I had to do it again I probably wouldn't. Not that she's hard to get along with, but the risk outweighs the reward. I do not understand why some people continue to go into a legal contract with a obviously unstable woman.

A contract where you agree to sign over half of everything you own and half of your salary if things go bad. Stop and think about that before you say I do. Swallow the red pill.

[TheGood]

30+ year paramedic. Saw 3 co-workers commit suicide because of horrible divorces and vindictive women. Way more trouble than good....

Suicide is a personal mental health problem. You can't blame the ex-wife, even if they are nasty/vindictive. Why would anyone want to remain married to someone like that, or end your own life over them? Makes no sense, and that's why it's due to their own mental health problems.

[BigPimping]

They would never have done it if the ex had not done what they did. These were hard boiled medics. They were faced with the ultimate betrayal and possibly never seeing their kids again. Don't assume anything. You did not know them. These were my EMS brothers.

[Usmc0844spare]

Suicide is a personal mental health problem. You can't blame the ex-wife, even if they are nasty/vindictive. Why would anyone want to remain married to someone like that, or end your own life over them? Makes no sense, and that's why it's due to their own mental health problems.

Not sure I agree, though I see your POV.

Some of these stories point to one thing: a sudden and massive pile-on of irretrievably life changing events and emotions. Living location, job, relationships with children, trust, shame, guilt, anger, quality of life, etc.

Many people can deal with such a sudden onslaught of horrible. Some can't. Those unfortunate folks who ended their lives were likely in the "can't" bucket. Nothing against them (I know one of those folks as well). I don't think you truly 100% know which bucket you fall into until you go through something like that. Hopefully most of us never have to be tested.

However, I can definitely see assigning at least SOME blame to a cruel ex-spouse who needlessly forces someone into that test. When that someone might not have ever been put into the position of being tested, might have lived a long and happy life, were it not for a psychopathic ex.

[TheGood]

They would never have done it if the ex had not done what they did. These were hard boiled medics. They were faced with the ultimate betrayal and possibly never seeing their kids again. Don't assume anything. You did not know them. These were my EMS brothers.

I understand you are hurting over it, personally BP.

Suicide is the sum of several factors of personal stress that ends with a person taking their own life. When a college student who is having a rough time in school kills himself because his GF broke up with him, do we blame the school or the ex-GF?

Suicide is a personal action that was taken by that person. It was their own mental weakness that resulted in their death. I'm sorry if it is an -external- force that pushed them too far into mental anguish, but it is not the fault of that external force. This is why people who are in extreme anguish/grief need to get help to try to ease the anguish before the act is committed.

I couldn't imagine doing what you do as an everyday job/career without it having an effect on my mental health, BP. Thank you for what you do, and I don't mean to disrespect you or your EMT friends who have taken their own life due to personal stress.

[BigPimping]

TheGood:

Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it. No greater bond is formed than that which is forged running under the reds.

[The Gleam]

I understand your point, but the cost of bringing on another attorney to only resolve a point that is not relevant to the case is wasting the client's financial resources. He needs to fight the restraining order, and prevail, and then the storage of his firearms is no longer an issue.

Regarding the notice from law enforcement that they want the OP to transfer the firearms to a FFL, that point is not relevant, because he made an agreement where the firearms are being stored at his residence under the care of his wife.

I should expound on why I did not recommend hiring a specialized attorney. I have been in practice for almost 27 years, most of my experience is in family law. My records indicate that I have represented clients in more than 3500 hearings. Most of those hearing are in family court. Further, during those 3500 hearings, I have had to watch 0 to 10 other hearings being conducted. In all of that, I have never seen a hearing that involved an additional specialized attorney. Judges are focused on the common laws that pertain to their area of jurisdiction. This is true for family court, bankruptcy court, juvenile court, criminal court and so forth.

If an issue involving another area of law occurs, the attorney should anticipate it and be prepared to present the applicable law to the judge, or a subsequent motion can be filed to correct any mistake made in an earlier hearing.

In the OP's case, he valued his firearm collection at $15,000. If he hired a specialized attorney, I am estimating that his retainer would be around $5,000 and upwards. I have seen it happen, where the parties will spend more money on attorney fees than the value of the item in dispute. At some point a business decision needs to be made, on how to best approach the issue.

All good points; part of my problem is that I tend to mix up my audiences.

So many of my clients have a cornucopia of free flowing cash under their arm and think nothing of it. In situations like this, they have a "team" working for them by making one phone call.

The follow-up calls go to their business manager who then calls the agent, PR rep, social-media team, security detail, domestics, driver, and so on.

[ElPookie20]

Not sure I agree, though I see your POV.

Some of these stories point to one thing: a sudden and massive pile-on of irretrievably life changing events and emotions. Living location, job, relationships with children, trust, shame, guilt, anger, quality of life, etc.

Many people can deal with such a sudden onslaught of horrible. Some can't. Those unfortunate folks who ended their lives were likely in the "can't" bucket. Nothing against them (I know one of those folks as well). I don't think you truly 100% know which bucket you fall into until you go through something like that. Hopefully most of us never have to be tested.

However, I can definitely see assigning at least SOME blame to a cruel ex-spouse who needlessly forces someone into that test. When that someone might not have ever been put into the position of being tested, might have lived a long and happy life, were it not for a psychopathic ex.

That is exactly how it goes Gentleman...life as you know it ceases to exist..

[RJR45]

But but but..."toxic masculinity"!

[RandyD]

Not sure I agree, though I see your POV.

Some of these stories point to one thing: a sudden and massive pile-on of irretrievably life changing events and emotions. Living location, job, relationships with children, trust, shame, guilt, anger, quality of life, etc.

Many people can deal with such a sudden onslaught of horrible. Some can't. Those unfortunate folks who ended their lives were likely in the "can't" bucket. Nothing against them (I know one of those folks as well). I don't think you truly 100% know which bucket you fall into until you go through something like that. Hopefully most of us never have to be tested.

However, I can definitely see assigning at least SOME blame to a cruel ex-spouse who needlessly forces someone into that test. When that someone might not have ever been put into the position of being tested, might have lived a long and happy life, were it not for a psychopathic ex.

Another aspect of this is, there are a few cases each year where a spouse will murder their spouse as a result of going through a divorce. I have had to talk down two clients from murdering their spouse, and I have had a number of clients comment on murdering their spouses. In the almost 27 years that I have been doing this, I have had to retreat to my office, lock two doors and retrieve my handgun and call 911. The violence and mental anguish are real.

[Hinnerk]

"I have seen it happen, where the parties will spend more money on attorney fees than the value of the item in dispute."

It happened a lot with my ex. She was a kamikaze litigant. At some point she got Department of Child Support Services involved in our case even though I had always paid every month about a week ahead of time. She knew that. DCSS came up with one of their notoriously FUBAR accountings showing that I owed about $5000. I tried to present DCSS with the records but they simply said that my ex agreed with their accounting and we would have to settle it in court. So I offered to sit down with her attorney and go over what I described as incontrovertible facts. He replied that his client was adamant that the DCSS figures were accurate. A hearing was set. Ex meanwhile hired a new attorney. I made the same offer to her. She said that they would not go over the evidence with me unless I paid for her time. I said, I'll see you in court. It actually took two hearings over two days to go over all the cashed checks. "Is that your signature?" "Yes." And so on. Eventually proving that I was current.

According to my ex's I&E Declaration she had spent $7000 to fight for $5000 that was a fiction. I accused her attorney of taking advantage of a mentally disabled client (ex claims disability based on depression and PTSD). I told her that maybe her client couldn't think logically but certainly she could and had an ethical obligation to represent her client's best interest.

Fortunately, I was in pro per so it only cost my time and gas.

[HUTCH 7.62]

Women are the Devil.

[ar15robert]

Guys, listen. If you are married and a divorce seems like it's coming, move the guns out NOW. Don't wait for the restraining order, because you won't know it's coming until the boys in blue come a knocking with the order and several boxes to seize your guns.

Have 2 friends going through divorces one got a tro filed on him so she can kick him out of the house had firearms he had to sell tried to brand him as crazy etc.He spent thousands and her lies began to fall apart and now its getting worse for her.

Another separated going through divorce she doesnt like hes moving on and doing better filed a tro at advice of a boyfriend and trying to use to her advantage why i dont know this was months after the split.both have kids and are great dads involved with their kids and supporting them.

Both have the money to fight this but the average guy may not and be really screwed all because of a messed up system and what i have seen is strike first if you suspect this coming up.

[BondEric2]

In general, I don't think there is a relationship in which everything is ideal. IIn fact you always have to fight if you want to have a beautiful relationship. The relationship is based on thousands of small details that together prove that you really love the person next to you. I learned a lot of things I didn't know about relationships on https://breakupangels.com/author/jennifer/ and I'm really happy to be able to implement these things in my relationship.

[Skip_Dog]

Why bump a 9 month old thread if you are not the OP with an update?

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