Zombies???

[Stormfeather]

Well, I love zombies, but I can honestly say Ive never purchased a weapon in regards to Zombie Defense. I worry more about having to defend myself against the govt more than anything.

[gravedigger]

Zombies are easily identified. Currently, they can be spotted in poorly maintained vehicles bearing a "OBAMA '08" bumper stickers. Other zombies have 'KERRY' stickers, and the leadership among the zombie population are revealed by their wrinkled and fading 'GORE' bumper stickers. They are card-carrying members of groups like the Brady Bunch and Gun Control, Inc.

We have already seen an example of a zombie outbreak. In fact, we have seen several examples. In Los Angeles, after law enforcement officers administered a well-earned attitude adjustment to one rogue zombie named Rodney King who resufed to comply with a simple traffic stop, the zombies came out in huge numbers and set Los Angeles ablaze. In New Orleans, after something as simple as a flood, the zombies sat on their roofs like sparrows with their beaks open, waiting for their taxpayer furnished gu'mint worm when all they had to do was dive down into 8 or 10 feet of water and grab a can of tuna from their now submerged kitchen cabinet. These worthless sub-creatures were transported to a containment center called the Astro Dome, where they immediately proceeded to turn it into a sewer unfit for human habitation, along with rampant vandalism, crime, rape and other typical zombie behavior, all the while waiting for the taxpayers to give them a new house,a new car, and a hundred thousand tax-free dollars for their trouble.

At the L.A. airport many years ago, there were three 747 passenger jets which were used to transport zombies that had escaped from the island zombie paradise of Cuba. The planes were repulsively trashed with human feces on the floors and seats, urine pouring out of the luggage compartments that had seeped down through the floor, and enough vomit to fill an oil tanker, expelled by planeloads of zombies who had never flown before and experienced mass airsickness. Those planes were parked out at the far end of the runways for MONTHS to allow them to air out before the mechanics and employees would even agree to enter them for cleaning and reinsertion into the air fleet. They were hosed out, sterilized, and the entire interior of those planes, everything but the aluminum fuselage had to be tossed and replaced with something a human being would expect to find upon boarding the aircraft.

Zombie colonies are well established in various parts of this country. Notable among them are San Francisco and Berkeley California, New York City, and virtually every large inner-city region in America including Chicago, where an exceptional zombie has now stolen the highest office in the land.

Militant zombies have even set up functional outposts called abortion clinics, where their craving for human flesh is fulfilled on a daily basis. They have dominated the media outlets, and if it weren't for reasonable, rational sources such as FOX, the zombies would be able to spread their diseased message unencumbered.

Zombies are strongly encouraged by our own federal gu'mint to reproduce. They are paid to sit and fester, and produce more zombies. Each month on the third, a check is sent to every zombie hive in America, in an apparent attempt to prop up the alcohol and illegal drug trades in this country, and to perpetuate rampant crime in order to provide job security for our LEOs. Looking for zombies? Just get hold of the list of welfare check recipients.

Violent zombies are deemed to be an endangered species and are housed, preserved and nursed back to health before being released from zombie rejuvenation and enhancement centers we call prisons. They are given a period of time to socialize, network and build up their physical strength before they are set free to feed on society by the gu'mint that refuses to exterminate them.

Zombies have organized themselves into groups with names painfully wrung out of acronyms such as NAMBLA, ACLU and ACORN. Now they are receiving federal taxpayer dollars in order to insure that they are forever viable.

Zombies are REAL, and they are HERE. The question is not, "Do zombies exist?" That question has been answered. The question on the table is, "What are we willing to do about it?"

[fusionstar]

Legened:

Zombie = Democrat

Every gun i've purchased, I bought because of zombies.

[Capt. Speirs]

"Zombie Invasion" is code for "Civil Unrest" in my book. If you mean TV/Movie zombies, then no. Keep telling yourself "it's only a movie".

+ 1

Zombies are easily identified. Currently, they can be spotted in poorly maintained vehicles bearing a "OBAMA '08" bumper stickers. Other zombies have 'KERRY' stickers, and the leadership among the zombie population are revealed by their wrinkled and fading 'GORE' bumper stickers. They are card-carrying members of groups like the Brady Bunch and Gun Control, Inc.

We have already seen an example of a zombie outbreak. In fact, we have seen several examples. In Los Angeles, after law enforcement officers administered a well-earned attitude adjustment to one rogue zombie named Rodney King who resufed to comply with a simple traffic stop, the zombies came out in huge numbers and set Los Angeles ablaze. In New Orleans, after something as simple as a flood, the zombies sat on their roofs like sparrows with their beaks open, waiting for their taxpayer furnished gu'mint worm when all they had to do was dive down into 8 or 10 feet of water and grab a can of tuna from their now submerged kitchen cabinet. These worthless sub-creatures were transported to a containment center called the Astro Dome, where they immediately proceeded to turn it into a sewer unfit for human habitation, along with rampant vandalism, crime, rape and other typical zombie behavior, all the while waiting for the taxpayers to give them a new house,a new car, and a hundred thousand tax-free dollars for their trouble.

At the L.A. airport many years ago, there were three 747 passenger jets which were used to transport zombies that had escaped from the island zombie paradise of Cuba. The planes were repulsively trashed with human feces on the floors and seats, urine pouring out of the luggage compartments that had seeped down through the floor, and enough vomit to fill an oil tanker, expelled by planeloads of zombies who had never flown before and experienced mass airsickness. Those planes were parked out at the far end of the runways for MONTHS to allow them to air out before the mechanics and employees would even agree to enter them for cleaning and reinsertion into the air fleet. They were hosed out, sterilized, and the entire interior of those planes, everything but the aluminum fuselage had to be tossed and replaced with something a human being would expect to find upon boarding the aircraft.

Zombie colonies are well established in various parts of this country. Notable among them are San Francisco and Berkeley California, New York City, and virtually every large inner-city region in America including Chicago, where an exceptional zombie has now stolen the highest office in the land.

Militant zombies have even set up functional outposts called abortion clinics, where their craving for human flesh is fulfilled on a daily basis. They have dominated the media outlets, and if it weren't for reasonable, rational sources such as FOX, the zombies would be able to spread their diseased message unencumbered.

Zombies are strongly encouraged by our own federal gu'mint to reproduce. They are paid to sit and fester, and produce more zombies. Each month on the third, a check is sent to every zombie hive in America, in an apparent attempt to prop up the alcohol and illegal drug trades in this country, and to perpetuate rampant crime in order to provide job security for our LEOs. Looking for zombies? Just get hold of the list of welfare check recipients.

Violent zombies are deemed to be an endangered species and are housed, preserved and nursed back to health before being released from zombie rejuvenation and enhancement centers we call prisons. They are given a period of time to socialize, network and build up their physical strength before they are set free to feed on society by the gu'mint that refuses to exterminate them.

Zombies have organized themselves into groups with names painfully wrung out of acronyms such as NAMBLA, ACLU and ACORN. Now they are receiving federal taxpayer dollars in order to insure that they are forever viable.

Zombies are REAL, and they are HERE. The question is not, "Do zombies exist?" That question has been answered. The question on the table is, "What are we willing to do about it?"

Educate, vote, educate, vote......and above all...Be Prepared for the Invasion.

[gef]

I've been reading SF and Fantasy since I was a teenager,(alot more years ago than I like to think about). So I know Zombies, and every gun I've purchased was subconsciously for Zombie control, George

[MT1]

I think the 28 weeks approach is much more accurate and likely, some rampant virus or bio-weapon gone wrong would lead to "zombies" that are fast and dangerous, not the lumbering, dumb zombies that fill books.

[vwynn]

what about the zombies like.. Hunters, Smokers, Boomers, and tanks? EVEN THE WITCH!!

If zombies invade.. we gotta gather the Calgunners n protect California! show em how important the gun is!

[savs2k]

i would love for zombies to try to take over. Will it ever happen? um no. funny to say so yes. serious to think so, funny.

[Capt Jack]

I have definitely noticed more zombie threads lately, which I think is a good indicator of how people are starting to think about our current situation.

The best Zombie site/forum out there that covers Disaster Preparedness:

http://www.zombiehunters.org/

Zombies are a metaphor for any real disaster because if you can handle a zombie outbreak then you can pretty much handle anything. Earthquakes and other natural disasters have a much higher chance of happening versus a biological event but why not be prepared for both?

Most people would prefer to be ignorant of this stuff and stay in their happy place because it would be too traumatic to think that our world could really come crashing down on us. Besides, if anything major did happen, Uncle Sam would take care of everything...just ask those that went through Katrina how well that worked for them

Remember, Beans, Bullets and Band aids in that order (don't forget water as well!) Oh, and Left 4 Dead is a great game, but check your fire! I swear I take more damage from friendly fire than the darn zombies!

[audihenry]

I own that book and have read it many a times on the crapper at work.

Problem with Costco is the obvious... EVERYONE will be going to Costo. It only makes sense right? Most of them have their own gas stations along with an almost unlimited supply of canned foods, water and entertainment. Walls are nice and high with no windows. There are limited ways in and out so this "seems" to be the best option in the case of a Zombie outbreak. HOWEVER!!

Zombies crave human flesh right? Seeing as almost everyone's answer to the question of "what if" is to head to Costo. So where do you think the Zombies will be? They are going to follow everyone to Costco. Lets face it, Costco can only hold so many people.

Scenario: You are one of the fist to get to your local Costco. Let's just say for the sake of argument that you are one of the 20 people in Costco and have it locked up. Nice and safe right? Well inevitably more and more humans will be showing up trying to get in there with you. Do you let them in, risking the zombies following? Lets say you can let a few in without the zombies following. Have they already been bitten and don't want you to know?

What about the people already inside the Costco with you. Let's just say you all made an agreement to NOT open the doors for anyone! Everything is fine and dandy until their loved ones are outside wanting to get in. Now you have a disruption from within. The human emotion will get the best of any situation and this will lead to eventual failure in the plan.
People will be banging on the doors trying to get it. This will create a boatload of noise and surely attract the zombies. Open the door for one human and you may as well open the door for them all. People WILL get in eventually and this will compromise your fortification.

My plan is near fool proof. Nothing is totally fool proof due to the fact that we are human and humans are not perfect (human error). There will always be human error and this needs to be factored in during any situation.

Without giving you my details of survival I will say this:
You need to find a desolate place unreachable by zombies and hard to get to by the average civilian. This "fort" needs to have enough food to outlast the zombies. This fort will also need its own source of power.
According to many books Zombies will die after about a month of starvation.
So your best bet it to wait it out. You don't have enough firepower or ammunition to take out all the zombies.

What will you do?

LOL, that was great. I just pictured a deadpan delivery!

[Sam]

I always think about zombie outbreaks when I purchase a gun. We all know that the only way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head and so I always take into account my ability to make headshots with any weapon before I buy it. I guess the true question is, are you able to make headshots with the weapons you own? If not, your weapons are useless against zombies. Useless!

[ElDiabloRobotico]

Your plan is flawed for this reason. If zombies don't need to eat to survive and decomposition is the only thing that will eventually destroy them, then you'll be waiting 2-4 years before the threat subsides. Even then, you still risk the odd zombie that is preserved longer.

+1. zombies aren't living creatures. they require no air, food, or water to survive.

How does Deadeye win? Was there a game I was unaware of? Ok.. so lets say they don't need our flesh to live? They eventually decompose and my plan will still work as it involves waiting out the outbreak/attack (whichever way you want to put it).
Deadeye, you completely dissagree with my tactics but provide non of your own.
Please elaborate

waiting out the disease is a good plan. but you're gonna have to wait a LOOOOONG time. it also depends on where you are hiding. warm areas will speed along the decomposition but they'll be more agile. cold areas will take a very long time to decompose a corpse but they will be slower.

I think waiting it out is good. I would do it in a treehouse or something like that.. Think about it, have you ever seen a zombie climb a ladder? I don't think they can.

BDD

they posses some skill. they can open a door, use a basic tool... i don't see why one couldn't use a ladder. make it a rope ladder that you can pull up when you're up in your fort.

the best way to survive the upcoming zombie apocalypse is to avoid them at all cost. the sound of a gunshot can travel for miles in the right condition. they will follow that sound. use them only as a last ditch effort.

so in answer to the op's question... yes, i have thought a lot about zombies when purchasing a gun.

/yeah, i know... i need a life
//aim for the head and they'll stay dead