Family Pics

[TRAP55]

I finally convinced the wife that if I had a man cave, she would have more closet room for her Amelda Marcos shoe collection. Moving safes is a PITA!
You don't realize what you have, until you have to move it all. And then trying to figure out how they all fit back in the safe! I also realized that when all the project rifles are assembled, I'm going to need another safe.
The most dangerous part of moving the safes and rifles is, she might figure out how many I really have.
On the bright side, it's been like Christmas finding stuff I lost or forgot about. One safe and two loads down, I'll be glad when this mess is done, but the shotgun safe and handguns are going to have to wait awhile.
Most of the Mausers


The Russians

[paul0660]

I have some room, they can stay with me!

[cactus]

Dont you hate having to remember the order they were in because if you change it they all wont fit. I now put some of my rifles in the soft case then in the safe so I dont have to worry when I shut the door for a shifted load. Oh well I need a bigger safe and a man cave to think your wife can call mine? Just kidding nice collection!

[TRAP55]

Oh well I need a bigger safe and a man cave to think your wife can call mine?

cactus, after many years and much grey hair, I have come to the understanding that even though I make the house payments, it's her house!
Using that logic, I had to make her think the "Man Cave" was her idea.
To accomplish this task, follow these 6 simple steps:
1) Cram as many empty gun boxes and old rifle stocks as you can into the closet. The closet is the shrine to that which adorns her, and the storage of man things there is offensive to all that is holy. Bloodstain feather encrusted hunting clothes must be hung up in the very back of the closet out of sight. Refer to step #4 for explanation.
2)You may sleep in the bedroom, but the bedroom is hers too. Gun safes will never "match" with bedroom furniture. "Matching" is the OCD gene that all females possess. They make it their task in life to make all things in "their house" match. Safes in the bedroom cannot be tolerated!
3)Adorn the top of the safe with more man things, preferably things that don't match. Use caution here! Do this incrementally, too much at a time is like poking a grizzly bear in her den, and may result in loss of life or limb.
4)The human female olfactory senses rival those of a bloodhound. They can pinpoint the exact spot you were cleaning guns, even when you"re sure all evidence has been removed or destroyed. Hoppes#9 is extremely caustic to the female senses, use in moderation especially when using the kitchen table to clean guns. Stale cigar smoke is only to be used in extreme cases.
5) The garage is a grey area, she will concede some of this territory as "yours", you must use this as a tactical advantage!
If there is only room for one car, it will be her car. This is where you strategically place your ammo dump. Ammo cans and crates must be placed near to where she will enter/exit the car. Not blocking her entrance/exit, ...only hindering.
6)Now, the most important part:
When confronted with your offensive behavior, you must immediately assume the wounded puppy look. This will protect you from physical abuse, but will intensify the verbal abuse. It's important here to let her finish, you'll know the time is right when the frothing at the mouth has stopped, and she has released any hand held weapons or projectiles.
This is the Golden moment, don't screw it up, rehearse your lines!
"Gee honey, if I only had a room where I could consolidate all my gun stuff"
Pause here to go down your list of how this would benefit her, and NEVER mention anything that would benefit you!
"You'll have tons more closet space"
"Granny's rocker would look good where the safe is"
"All the stuff on top of the safe wouldn't be in the bedroom"
"The kitchen wouldn't have any bad smells"
"You would have more parking room in the garage too"
Now she's thinking, timing is critical here, she must have time to visualize granny's rocking chair in the bedroom, and the extra closet space, and not hitting her car doors on ammo boxes. Keep in mind here, that only her opinion matters, and you must hand it to her on a silver platter.
Just before she says anything, you ask:
So what do you think sweetheart?"

Now burn these instructions, these secrets must never be revealed to the enemy!

[goathead]

NICE