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Sloshed with Martinis...'taint 'ardly fair.

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  • Darto
    CGN Contributor
    • Apr 2012
    • 6454

    Sloshed with Martinis...'taint 'ardly fair.

  • #2
    smle-man
    I need a LIFE!!
    • Jan 2007
    • 10575

    The quote is from the Kipling poem known as "Fuzzy Wuzzy" which is actually about fighting in Sudan against the Maahdi army.


    (Soudan Expeditionary Force)
    We've fought with many men acrost the seas,
    An' some of 'em was brave an' some was not:
    The Paythan an' the Zulu an' Burmese;
    But the Fuzzy was the finest o' the lot.
    We never got a ha'porth's change of 'im:
    'E squatted in the scrub an' 'ocked our 'orses,
    'E cut our sentries up at Suakim,
    An' 'e played the cat an' banjo with our forces.
    So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan;
    You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
    We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
    We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

    We took our chanst among the Khyber 'ills,
    The Boers knocked us silly at a mile,
    The Burman give us Irriwaddy chills,
    An' a Zulu impi dished us up in style:
    But all we ever got from such as they
    Was pop to what the Fuzzy made us swaller;
    We 'eld our bloomin' own, the papers say,
    But man for man the Fuzzy knocked us 'oller.
    Then 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' the missis and the kid;
    Our orders was to break you, an' of course we went an' did.
    We sloshed you with Martinis, an' it wasn't 'ardly fair;
    But for all the odds agin' you, Fuzzy-Wuz, you broke the square.

    'E 'asn't got no papers of 'is own,
    'E 'asn't got no medals nor rewards,
    So we must certify the skill 'e's shown
    In usin' of 'is long two-'anded swords:
    When 'e's 'oppin' in an' out among the bush
    With 'is coffin-'eaded shield an' shovel-spear,
    An 'appy day with Fuzzy on the rush
    Will last an 'ealthy Tommy for a year.
    So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an' your friends which are no more,
    If we 'adn't lost some messmates we would 'elp you to deplore.
    But give an' take's the gospel, an' we'll call the bargain fair,
    For if you 'ave lost more than us, you crumpled up the square!

    'E rushes at the smoke when we let drive,
    An', before we know, 'e's 'ackin' at our 'ead;
    'E's all 'ot sand an' ginger when alive,
    An' 'e's generally shammin' when 'e's dead.
    'E's a daisy, 'e's a ducky, 'e's a lamb!
    'E's a injia-rubber idiot on the spree,
    'E's the on'y thing that doesn't give a damn
    For a Regiment o' British Infantree!
    So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in the Soudan;
    You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
    An' 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with your 'ayrick 'ead of 'air --
    You big black boundin' beggar -- for you broke a British square!

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    • #3
      DaveInOroValley
      CGN/CGSSA Contributor
      CGN Contributor
      • Jan 2010
      • 8967

      Do you like your Martini rifle "dirty"?
      NRA Life Member

      Vet since 1978

      "Don't bother me with facts, Son. I've already made up my mind." -Foghorn Leghorn

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