Ode to Eugene and John C.

[SigShooter]

My father just sent me this. How many can you identify with? Add your own!

Stuff you know if you have an AR

• You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic teflon infused oil for cleaning.

• You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600m.

• Cheap mags melt.

• You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.

• Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.

• Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.

• You can put one hole in a paper target at 100m with 30 rounds.

• When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great whiffle bat.

• Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.

• Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations most illiterate conscripts.

• Your rifle won the cold war.

• You paid $900.

• You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.

• Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.

• Service life, 40 years.

• You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.

• You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.

• After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and Apple Pie.

• Your wife tolerates your autographed, framed picture of Eugene Stoner.

• Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.

Stuff you know if you have an M1 Garand

• You have a full gross of the little grease pots that fit in the stock.

• You are able to hit the barn from two farms over.

• Mags are for klutzes!

• Your safety is both subtle and easy to use.

• Your sling cost more than the Mosin-Nagant.

• Your bayonet doubles as a fighting knife.

• You can put a whole clip into a man-sized target at 200 yards.

• When out of ammo your rifle is an excellent club.

• Your rifle was used by the free world to turn back the tide of totalitarianism.

• You buy ammo by the case and debate the advantage of Lake City over Greek or Korean or Federal.

• You secretly smile when the guy next to you gets Garand Thumb.

• Time rifle spent in storage, 40 years.

• You have the helmet, the cartridge belt, the buttstock cleaning kit, the muzzle guard, and are still learning about the other accessories.

• Your wife tolerates your autographed, framed picture of John C. Garand.

• Late at night you think of your Garand and feel at one with your Grandfather who carried one from D+10 to Mittersill.

[docsmileyface]

I identify with almost all the AR ones, especially clearing my house out at night.

I only really identified with the "I like Band of Brothers" with the M1 Garand, which is probably why I sold mine last night.

[PanzerAce]

Sounds like they jacked the AR stuff from that AK vs. AR vs. Mosin blog post.

[whatdyisit]

Sounds like they jacked the AR stuff from that AK vs. AR vs. Mosin blog post.

I knew I recognized those from somewhere.