Couples training

[71MUSTY]

Sorry, that is not convincing. Why in the world would you shout?

If who you are with is sufficiently unaware of the new danger, they need to first realize you are speaking in code, then interpret the code, then react. Plus, what if you are with a buddy unaware of your codes?

Again, please stick with what makes you comfortable. As will I.

Librarian, good point. My wife and I do have a hand signal for "time to go".

I guess I see your point, not everyone's spouse is equal but my wife worked on the Psych floor for years and is accustomed to listening for code words. My Buddy won't know our plans and is on his own unless it is someone I trained with I can not predict or count on his actions, sorry. You would also be surprised to know that while we always try to be aware of our surroundings, events can sometimes distract one or the other and we do not always see a potential threat at the same time, so a simple code word works well to get us on the same page. For me first wife I would have needed to put the code word in a Gucci Ad.

If code words do not work for you, don't use them. We have successfully used them for 27 years, my wife can even tell me your are being inappropriate without you even knowing it.

[Librarian]

'Code words' seem to have led off into the weeds.

It isn't the stimulus, however delivered or perceived, it's the actions those might initiate that are important.

My parents were native speakers of both English and a European language; their parents were immigrants. They chose not to teach the European language to their children, reserving it so they could have private conversations in front of us. They had code words.

In a conflict event, a group of opponents might communicate in German or Russian or Spanish or Chinese, and I might have very little idea what they might be saying. But if they had to explain 'you go here, you wait there, you hold the door, you juggle the hedgehogs' in some non-English language -- or, I had to do that in English with my wife/partner -- it takes time one might not have in the situation.

That's the stuff you should do in training - thus my search for a class, or some sharable wisdom for those who might want to contribute to this thread.

Maybe training will lead to a method of assessment that suggests commonly understood, trained-together behavior, with no words needed. I have no experience in it, but from what I have read, that seems to be the case for infantry house-clearing teams.

But civilians in most of America are really unlikely to need even to need to be armed, much less trained in team tactics and secret communications. The level of investment in those skills has to be sold as proportionate to the perceived risk.

As I get older, I perceive that my victim-selection status is changing; we look more vulnerable as the hair goes gray and the eyes get worse. We have invested in tools and some basic training, and I want more skill in using that.

[Jeepergeo]

Sorry, that is not convincing. Why in the world would you shout?

If who you are with is sufficiently unaware of the new danger, they need to first realize you are speaking in code, then interpret the code, then react. Plus, what if you are with a buddy unaware of your codes?

Again, please stick with what makes you comfortable. As will I.

Librarian, good point. My wife and I do have a hand signal for "time to go".

Hmmm....I think he is saying his code words keep him from having to shout.

Our code word is intended to be spoken or even whispered at a level commensurate with the background noise. Shouting in a quiet environment would draw unwanted attention from others and whispering in a noisey environment might not be heard.

Good points on having multiple words for different threat levels and intended actions. Librarian's scenario seems quite realistic. The exchange of thoughts, ideas, and rationale are appreciated.

[Librarian]

Any more thoughts?