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  #1  
Old 04-09-2019, 5:55 PM
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Panchira! Panchira! is offline
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Default Don't know what to title this...

Howdy all,
Well don't really know where to start here. How can I word this, I'm not a hard core man of faith, but I do believe, read the bible and pray all the time. I don't ask for much, just some help in guidance here and there. But sometimes I make a little progress both in faith and life, then after a week or 2 I get kicked back 200 steps. This is a common occurance, and is starting to wear on me for the last 15 years or so. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, or what I'm doing right. It feels like I'm the but end of a cruel joke. Im trying to stay as positive as I can, but there is only so much I can do.

It feels like God gives me a sip from his cup, then takes everything away only to dangle the carrot in front of me again over and over.

So far today, my cat got in a huge fight and at the vet now, my 4runner 3rd member pinion bearings let loose. Today has cost me thousands, but my cat is going to be ok and I'm still alive. From my past experiences I'm not holding my breath for something good to happen for a while now (but still praying something good will come my way).

Sorry if this seems like a selfless rant. I don't want anyone feeling bad for me, all I ask is for some prayers and maybe some advise. Thanks for listening.

I'm looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and I will never give up looking for that light.
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Old 04-09-2019, 6:50 PM
realbadlarry realbadlarry is offline
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You are not alone...we all have questions...I guess it's better than being Job, but sometimes we feel like we are being tested every day. Could also be perspective...I rolled my Razor last month, totaled it....thank God my wife and I are ok...insurance gave me more than I could have gotten selling the rzr....now my company is looking at downsizing....maybe it's a blessing in disguise that I was able to get that cash....who knows....All we can do is the best we can every day and try to figure out why we are here.
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Old 04-09-2019, 7:19 PM
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Yes, it always a test, is what I keep telling myself. I try to find the meanings or lessons of what I am going through. It's like I said before, I get a little happiness then all of it taken away. Be it from being let down or betrayed by a person, unexpected expenses (like today with my cat and 4runner).

Maybe I just haven't seen the meaning or finished this 15 year test yet. I just hope sometime soon or near I'll see the light. You are exactly right, I'm trying to find out why I'm here, and what I can do to contribute to his greater good.

Anyways, thank you for your input, I just got home from the vet and need to eat supper.
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The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
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Old 04-09-2019, 7:32 PM
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Wasn't it the famed led zeppelin that once said "Upon us all, a little rain must fall". Sometimes it seems like a downpour. But when things clear, if only for a time, the sun seems more vibrant and warming. No one ever promised life would be easy. Maybe we are measured by how we react to the rain. You seem to know that He has you in His arms. He always has a plan and reason for all things, we are just impatient or unable to comprehend. I will pray that He will reveal Himself to you again, and that you will be reassured. Meanwhile, keep at it and look for the sunrise.
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Old 04-09-2019, 7:50 PM
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Thank you atomicorange, you are correct. I know he has me in his arms, but I ask why so many 'tests'? Maybe today's events were just a bit to much for me to cope with? Oh yes life is never easy, that is to be expected.

I'll ask him again and see what happens. One step at a time, even if they are baby steps. I just hope the sun stays out for me soon and stay out for a bit. Maybe I just don't comprehend what he is showing me yet, I'm open to lean what I'm missing or failing at.

Thanks again for the prayers.
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The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
There's danger lurking around every corner, that's why I propose we make all of our buildings round.
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Old 04-09-2019, 7:54 PM
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I feel for ya brother. Prayers sent.

Hopefully, at a minimum . . . your cat learned his/her lesson.

I had a mean, mean cat that would fight anything on four legs, and two legs. Mean mean cat. Problem was, it fought every skunk it could find and never learned not to mess with them.

Those dang skunks would be running around on its front legs threatening to spray and my cat would engage.

her name was "Booger," . . . . for a good reason.
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Old 04-09-2019, 8:06 PM
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When you say Iam not a man of hardcore faith...what does that mean? Does it mean middle of the road. If so the Lord wants you to commit one way “hard core” or hot as it says in the Bible. Being Lukewarm will kill you. Not saying you are but you admitted not hard core faith. I take that to mean middle of the road. The devil will smack middle grounders around every time I know I have suffered much being Luke warm go after the lord with everything you have in gun terms use the best weapons and ammo available and pray get accountability with another Christian and get the victory the Lord wants to give to you. I doubt his will is to torture you for 15 yrs. the answer is right there. He loves you! Praying for you.
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Old 04-09-2019, 8:19 PM
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Panchira, I noticed that the thoughts you have posted seem to be focused around the topic of "things happening to you". You seem to feel that God is, in a sense, putting 15 years worth of obstacles in your path to test you. Like a cosmic force that just drops things at you from a distance to see how you'll react.

I get it. I've aimlessly wandered in the desert of my faith for quite some time and I often wonder about why God is choosing to do what He's doing in my life.

But listen, God wants a relationship with us. He's never struck me as the "run you through an obstacle course" kind of guy. Sometimes a sick cat is just a sick cat and a car repair is just a car repair. It's not always some big "daily test" or lesson to learn. I think that's just "stuff" and we shouldn't overly focus on those daily occurrences. I think that maybe because you're feeling like you haven't been able to hear from Him, you're trying to look for "signs" from Him in your daily life. When in reality, focusing on "stuff' is a distraction from getting to the heart of God and, in a way, takes you further from Him. Maybe instead of overthinking the situation(s), you simply sit down with Him and have a conversation. Don't look to your daily happenings as a sign or test, instead build a relationship with Him through a daily chat or prayer.


In the Bible, God has this to say, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -- Jeremiah 29:11 Do you see that? He says that, He has plans for YOU, Panchira, and they are good plans, not stuff to mess you up. So, even if you're not sure what the deal has been with these last 15 years, take heart in knowing that God plans a good future for you. In the meantime, stop fussing over today and simply sit down next to Him. You just keep taking those baby steps at a time. He's right there with you.
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Old 04-09-2019, 8:55 PM
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There is a lot asked and said it’s hard to pin point exactly where you are in your walk with GOD.

The way I tell people to examine themselves

You are walking in faith and have NO HIDDEN SIN then it’s just a test to strengthen you and to use you. now if you have secret sin you better believe he is going to cause things in your life that might not be comfortable to open your eyes.
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Old 04-10-2019, 4:33 AM
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That's the life of a Christian. There isn't enough you can do anyway. We are miserable sinners and must rely on God's grace to finish His work in us. Have joy that you are saved and repent for your sins.
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Last edited by RAMCLAP; 04-10-2019 at 7:44 AM..
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Old 04-10-2019, 4:43 AM
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When one becomes a believer, it angers the devil. You are in this world but not of this world. When the storm rages, keep your eyes on Jesus. Do not be like Peter walking toward Jesus who when the storm raged, he was distracted from looking toward Jesus and began to sink.

Resist the devil and he will flee. Stay in prayer. Cast your cares upon The Lord for he cares for you. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.


"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

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Old 04-10-2019, 6:19 AM
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Thanks badkitty, libertyordeath, ramclap, and kokopelli for all your words and suggestions. Im not going to lie, these last events I have been focusing on quite a bit as they have hit me the hardest all at once. I'll will give it a shot at looking at the bigger picture. It does seem I'm wandering a vast desert of faith and need to find the path again.

I will sit down with Him and have a heart to heart conversation and take it from there. Any forward progress I will look at differently from here on.

Again thanks guys for all your words and prayers. Thank you.
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I don't remember the time I was human that's why I don't understand anybody.
Quote:
The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
There's danger lurking around every corner, that's why I propose we make all of our buildings round.
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Old 04-10-2019, 6:23 AM
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It's 100% perspective in your current situation.

You are seeing the bad. While a person that is generally happy with life would have a different perspective, "Thank God that my cat is going to make it, and that my car's malfunction didn't cost me my life, or the life of someone precious to me....what a great God!"
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Old 04-10-2019, 6:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Panchira! View Post
Thanks badkitty, libertyordeath, ramclap, and kokopelli for all your words and suggestions. Im not going to lie, these last events I have been focusing on quite a bit as they have hit me the hardest all at once. I'll will give it a shot at looking at the bigger picture. It does seem I'm wandering a vast desert of faith and need to find the path again.

I will sit down with Him and have a heart to heart conversation and take it from there. Any forward progress I will look at differently from here on.

Again thanks guys for all your words and prayers. Thank you.
Go to church, talk to your pastor and receive agape love from the fellowship of believers who have been through what you are experiencing.

Blessings in Christ.
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Old 04-10-2019, 4:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Panchira! View Post
Howdy all,
Well don't really know where to start here. How can I word this, I'm not a hard core man of faith, but I do believe, read the bible and pray all the time. I don't ask for much, just some help in guidance here and there. But sometimes I make a little progress both in faith and life, then after a week or 2 I get kicked back 200 steps. This is a common occurance, and is starting to wear on me for the last 15 years or so. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, or what I'm doing right. It feels like I'm the but end of a cruel joke. Im trying to stay as positive as I can, but there is only so much I can do.

It feels like God gives me a sip from his cup, then takes everything away only to dangle the carrot in front of me again over and over.

So far today, my cat got in a huge fight and at the vet now, my 4runner 3rd member pinion bearings let loose. Today has cost me thousands, but my cat is going to be ok and I'm still alive. From my past experiences I'm not holding my breath for something good to happen for a while now (but still praying something good will come my way).

Sorry if this seems like a selfless rant. I don't want anyone feeling bad for me, all I ask is for some prayers and maybe some advise. Thanks for listening.

I'm looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and I will never give up looking for that light.
Most Christians don't know that God uses trials and suffering to perfect us to be like His Son, Jesus Christ. Even less know that God used trials and suffering to perfect Jesus Christ, Himself (Heb. 2:10). God wills suffering in all of our lives (1 Peter 2:21;3:17). I have a sermon I have to repeat every couple of years because we ALL forget this - I can send it to you, if you are interested. It's purely biblical.
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“Unless I am convinced by Scripture and plain reason- I do not accept the authority of popes and councils [i.e. any man]- my conscience is captive to the Word of God…” Martin Luther
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Old 04-10-2019, 5:35 PM
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Well currently I am in search of a new church. Hopefully I'll find one soon. Untill then I'll keep reading the bible and praying.

I could definitely change my perspective, yes I am glade my cat is going to be ok, truly am. Same with the car, but all at once and both really expensive. Well I'm trying to make some forward progress.
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I don't remember the time I was human that's why I don't understand anybody.
Quote:
The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
There's danger lurking around every corner, that's why I propose we make all of our buildings round.
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Old 04-11-2019, 11:38 AM
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Sh!* happens. That's life. Life is supposed to involve struggle. That's the system that God setup. It's not personal. It doesn't even have to be spiritual unless you choose to see it that way. It's just life. Every creature on this earth suffers on occasion. It's critical for life. Without struggle, we get weak, complacent and atrophied. Humans are, to a point, antifragile. We need a little disruption and disorder to improve.

Bad events cluster. Why? Don't know. But they do. There are patterns in things that are completely and utterly random. In fact, if there is no pattern in a random set, you know it was contrived (not random at all). But good events cluster, too. You just have to "embrace the suck" long enough, learning what you can in the process, to get to the good times. Good times make the hard times worth the trouble. Hard times let us be grateful for the good times.

But it sounds like the crux of your problem isn't spiritual so much as financial. If you had $10m liquid, would you have felt any deep existential or spiritual crisis at all over these things? Just curious.
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Old 04-11-2019, 4:56 PM
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CVShooter, yes it could be that too. If I had 10 million now, yes I would have still feel the same way. I would still feel as if I was being punished. Only reason I mentioned anything was it's getting to that point, where a person can handle so much "suck".

Yes I embrace the suck and just keep on moving on. But more for me personally is why is it happening so often. Everyone experiences issues differently. I don't expect sympathy from anyone. Just maybe some useful advice and a small prayer. Anyways got stuff to do now.
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I don't remember the time I was human that's why I don't understand anybody.
Quote:
The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
There's danger lurking around every corner, that's why I propose we make all of our buildings round.
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Old 04-11-2019, 8:21 PM
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Panchira
At time I used to think like you and get bogged down in the problems of life. Most time I could manage but at others it get you down. After becoming a Christian and facing some very serious challenges out of the gate I began to adopt an eternal perspective on things. I do what I can, I ask for grace and wisdom, and I trust the rest to Christ. At time I have to remind myself to trust him but boy it has really helped me to deal with life’s challenges in a much more productive and reduced stress.
I highly suggest reading second kings chap 19 vs 14-19. These verses changed my life. Lay your problems before the Lord.
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Old 04-12-2019, 6:23 AM
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Damon1272,
Thank you for your words. I'll read second kings tonight. I'm starting to change, be it baby steps, but it seems I've made a tiny bit of progress. Thanks everyone.
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I don't remember the time I was human that's why I don't understand anybody.
Quote:
The sound of a cat puking is the most effective alarm clock.
There's danger lurking around every corner, that's why I propose we make all of our buildings round.
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Old 04-12-2019, 8:28 AM
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While in your prayer time, go over Colossians Chapt 1 vs 9 thru 12, its a prayer St Paul prayed over the believers in Colosse for their benefits in life. Also the first several verses in II Peter chapt 1. These benefit me from time to time as well the example for Israel in Isaiah chapt 54 vs 17 &18. Jesus made it clear to His followers that " I am come that they ( you & I ) might have life and life more abundantly " while we are here on our journey. These things are real to me and my family, I will pray also for God's benefits for you as the other Bros here do likewise.

Psalm 1
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Old 05-28-2019, 8:54 AM
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i didnt read the thread, so ill just say, Christ has not promised us a bed of roses in this life, just the opposite in fact. regardless of what t.v. preachers peddle. We live in a world corrupted by sin and that ain't changing. continue to draw near to God brother!
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