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  #1  
Old 03-15-2023, 7:28 AM
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Default A Harmless Biblical joke

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden????
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  #2  
Old 03-15-2023, 7:29 AM
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They didn't read the Apple,, Terms and Conditions .....

Next .....
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  #3  
Old 03-15-2023, 7:51 AM
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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  #4  
Old 03-15-2023, 10:57 AM
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that's a good one.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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Old 03-15-2023, 1:39 PM
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There was an apple?


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  #6  
Old 03-15-2023, 5:42 PM
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what book in the Bible where they were playing baseball?
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

One of the traditional methods of imposing statism or socialism on a people has been by way of medicine. It’s very easy to disguise a medical program as a humanitarian project. ~ Ronald Reagan
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  #7  
Old 03-15-2023, 5:43 PM
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genesis - in the beg-inning.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

One of the traditional methods of imposing statism or socialism on a people has been by way of medicine. It’s very easy to disguise a medical program as a humanitarian project. ~ Ronald Reagan
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Old 03-15-2023, 8:49 PM
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Many wonder whether there will be pets in Heaven. I don't know about dogs, but for sure there will be cats there. Where else will they get string for the harps.....


Sorry about that, cat people.

Last edited by Dezrat; 03-15-2023 at 8:53 PM..
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  #9  
Old 03-15-2023, 9:38 PM
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how did apostle paul prepare his coffee?





Hebrews.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #10  
Old 03-15-2023, 10:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barang View Post
how did apostle paul prepare his coffee?





Hebrews.
But Thomas was heard to say :

I kind of doubt that !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
" I like my Coffee so strong , It would wake Lazarus "
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Last edited by Eat Dirt; 03-15-2023 at 10:28 PM..
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  #11  
Old 03-15-2023, 10:58 PM
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Adam and Seth were walking by the entrance to the garden and Seth asked his father, "what's that place over there?"
Adam responded, "That's where your mother ate us out of house and home".
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  #12  
Old 03-15-2023, 11:26 PM
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If God really knew how women thought,

he would have told Eve not to eat that serpent.









(I tried to look for that joke online because it was worded better when a comedian said it and just now I found this other joke below.)



Adam and Eve definitely were not Chinese.

They would have sold the apple and then eaten the snake.





Last edited by sealocan; 03-15-2023 at 11:28 PM..
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  #13  
Old 03-16-2023, 12:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eat Dirt View Post
But Thomas was heard to say :

I kind of doubt that !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
" I like my Coffee so strong , It would wake Lazarus "
i kinda doubt that!
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #14  
Old 03-16-2023, 1:10 AM
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what kind of party are they having in hell?

pity party.

why?

because they are weeping and gnashing their teeth.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #15  
Old 03-27-2023, 10:49 AM
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Did you know cars are in the Bible? The apostles were all in one Accord...

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  #16  
Old 03-27-2023, 11:23 AM
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Now that's a good one to start the week

Glad to see this thread resurrected
( Was that Bad )?
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  #17  
Old 03-27-2023, 7:53 PM
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there's also a very important car give away in the Bible, what is it?

winning a soul by kia.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #18  
Old 03-28-2023, 12:08 PM
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I know there were motorcycles in the Bible:

Gideon's triumph was heard throughout the land...
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  #19  
Old 03-28-2023, 12:08 PM
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I also understand that God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury...
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  #20  
Old 03-29-2023, 10:59 AM
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what's the fastest ford model recorded in the Bible?

raptor - 0 to 60 in a blink of an eye.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #21  
Old 03-30-2023, 11:09 AM
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John the Baptist at one point traveled in a Charger.
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  #22  
Old 09-23-2023, 11:12 PM
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Let's get this going again ....For Sunday
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  #23  
Old 09-25-2023, 10:32 AM
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Why is Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Old Testament?





Because he broke all Ten Commandments at the same time!
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Old 09-25-2023, 11:36 AM
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Who was the first smoker in the Bible?

"And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel." Genesis 24:64 KJV
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  #25  
Old 09-26-2023, 1:37 AM
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what is the name of the first rock band in the Bible?

Genesis.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

One of the traditional methods of imposing statism or socialism on a people has been by way of medicine. It’s very easy to disguise a medical program as a humanitarian project. ~ Ronald Reagan
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  #26  
Old 09-26-2023, 5:00 AM
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"Who was the shortest man in the Bible?"

Nee Hi Miah.

"Who was the smallest man in the Bible?"

Peter, who slept on his watch.
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  #27  
Old 10-18-2023, 12:03 AM
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Why did Jesus walk on the water?
To get to the shore.


(I'm so clever, LOL).
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  #28  
Old 10-22-2023, 8:35 AM
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What was the First assault weapon in the bible ?

Samson with the jawbone of an *** , he slays 1,000 Philistines
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  #29  
Old 10-22-2023, 9:06 AM
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what river in the Bible that people think don't exist?

the nile river.
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Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgement."

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  #30  
Old 12-31-2023, 9:39 PM
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A Pastor , who loves to go hiking, is out on the trail, when he looks behind him and sees a grizzle bear, so he starts walking faster and so does the bear. He's now running as fast as he can and so is the bear. The only thing the pastor can think to do is drop to his knees and begin praying, " Dear Lord, please let the bear be a Christian". He then turns his head and looks back.
To his amazement, the bear is also on his knees praying, "Dear Lord, I want to thank you for the food I am about to receive".
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  #31  
Old 01-02-2024, 12:15 AM
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(note: the word "whale" is not in the book of Jonah. But anyway...


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Old 01-02-2024, 12:49 AM
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  #33  
Old 01-02-2024, 8:30 AM
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A Pastor was walking to lunch and came upon two boys arguing over a little puppy. He stops and interrupts, asking, "Boys, what is going on here?

One of the boys says, "We found this stray puppy and both want to keep it! So, we decided that whoever could tell the biggest lie, gets the puppy!"

The Pastor responds, "That's terrible! When I was your age, I NEVER told lies!"

The boys suddenly looked very sad and the Pastor is pleased to have made his point. But, then the boys sheepishly look up and one says, "OK, you win the puppy..."
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  #34  
Old 01-07-2024, 8:18 PM
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Dad joke version:

What was Jesus' favorite beer?

He-Brews.
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  #35  
Old 02-11-2024, 9:48 AM
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Where did Jesus go for a snack ??


Mt. Olive
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