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Ladies Forum A place for our female Calgunners to discuss, share and interact without the 'excess attention' sometimes found in online forums.

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  #1  
Old 12-21-2013, 1:54 PM
Asphodel Asphodel is offline
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Default A mood swing, with silly consequences.

Sometimes mood-swings can lead to a bit of foolishness........and this isn't a good thing, to be sure.......but, mood-swings happen, what can I say?

A bit of explanation for this particular mood-swing couldn't hurt, I suppose.......I had opened up our local range for a bit of private practice time for a friend, so she could get in some practice without the usual distractions of a range event, (this is someone who is rather new to shooting, but has some of the best 'rifle instinct' I've ever seen).......and, while she was shooting, I did the usual 'look around' for range maintenence items.

I found that someone had shot 'just right' to break one of our irreplaceable fifty-year-old target carriers.....a nasty bit of negligent shooting, that. Its repairable, but it will take some time/care to mend it, and that put me in a really angry foul mood about the people who shoot wildly or carelessly at the range and probably just don't give a damn about the range crew....all volunteers......who will have to repair the damage they do.

We've all read mz's warnings here about the OT section on the calguns site, of course, but, a couple of days ago, after noticing yet another distasteful bit of the OT 'tradition' , and with the influence of that bit of mood-swing, I put in a little 'rant' of my own.

The subject was actually a serious one.......but the collection of responses from the men of the calguns OT world were just so exactly, perfectly, as mz has been warning everyone here about...........I had to admit that I was impressed.... : )

Yes, mz 'called it'.........and, y'know, it really is a shame.

cheers

Carla
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  #2  
Old 12-21-2013, 4:50 PM
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yep, and I got called sexist in that thread........

if nothing else that thread proved to me that I've made the right decision in not recommending calguns to my friends [men or women for that matter].

Chickshooter is holding her own in another thread that turned quite nasty as well. it seems that it is ok to have an opinion and state it graphically if you are male but not if you're female and participating in OT.

my warning to new female posters stands: do NOT venture into OT until you've lurked a while and gotten the lay of the land.

disclaimer: there are some really good guys on calguns; OT does seem to bring out the worst in many.
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  #3  
Old 12-23-2013, 8:42 AM
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Carla I do feel for you. As a person who has thought differently all my life, I am used to being on the "wrong" side of most debates. When I worked as a university biology researcher and attended science conferences regularly, I saw heated battles between strong personalities because neither side would give in when shown to be wrong. In science, it usually ends up both sides are wrong and it is a 3rd alternative that wins out.

Spyguy will just keep changing the topic and nitpick whatever you say.

I do have strongly held belief systems that others do clash with what others hold. I do not discuss them often because I have lost a few friends who decided that they could not have a friend that had a different belief system than they did. I prefer to let people to get to know me and make their own decision.

OT is what it is. There are some good threads, though they are few.

I teach HS biology now. I believe the problem is due to the Y chromosome being only about 15% the size of the X chromosome. So males are missing a significant amount of genetic material. If they get a bad copy of a gene on the X chromosome for which they do not have a compliment on the Y chromosome because it is missing, they are out of luck. That is why male pattern baldness is a sex-linked trait, it is inherited through the mother's father. It is on the X chromosome.

I tell my biology students this. So when the boys do something stupid, which happens a lot since I teach sophomores, I tell the young ladies it is a result of the XY genetic disorder. This is why you do not trust or date boys at least until you are out of high school. A few of the young ladies tell me their fathers say the same about boys. I tell them some of us boys are able to grow up and overcome the XY genetic defect and we mellow out or we remember what we were like as teenagers.

I hope you have a better day. If I was closer to you, I would volunteer to go out to your range to fix the damage. I love putzing around and doing things like that. My wife hates it when I am home when she is cooking. And, I am probably one of the few people on CG that knows what Asphodel means. My wife's degree is in Botany though now she teaches high school chemistry and physics. We used to take botanical hunting trips with our cameras. That was pre-children.

Do not let them get to you about your writing style. It is obviously the Queen's English. My mother married a Canadian. I read articles from all over the world and so it is not a problem. When I worked in science, I even had to write in that style for some publications. It is much better than the poor grammar and spelling one often sees in OT as well as all the crude references.

Have a Merry Christmas.
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  #4  
Old 12-23-2013, 8:57 AM
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So people disagree with you or your thoughts and therefor Cal-Guns is no good and never recommend them to your friends. Yet you come on here with more posts. I guess I don't understand.

Many other forums out there and this is the internet you may not have been elected to speak for others.

Respectfully,
Bill
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  #5  
Old 12-23-2013, 9:56 AM
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Calguns rules for women:

- if you move away from the herd in any way, you will get eaten. Sadly, it is most likely the herd that will eat you.

- if you are a women, you are absolutely everyone's equal...unless you are female. If you are female, please refer to the point above.

I like Calguns because there are some great repositories of firearm information in many of the members, but the capacity for misogyny here is pretty astounding.

On the other hand, there are some rays of light as shown by this post:

http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...3&postcount=65
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  #6  
Old 12-23-2013, 11:35 PM
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(message redacted to save band-width)

Have a Merry Christmas.
Thank you for the nice compliment, Jeremiah12.

I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas, too,
and may the coming New Year be the best ever for you and yours ......... : )

cheers

Carla
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  #7  
Old 12-24-2013, 12:09 AM
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Chickshooter is holding her own in another thread that turned quite nasty as well. it seems that it is ok to have an opinion and state it graphically if you are male but not if you're female and participating in OT.
The double standard is a rough one but i look at it like the $6 million man opening - it will make me better, stronger, faster for future threads! Man, they tried to insult me every which way on that one LoL. the frustrating part was a tiny bit of progress was occurring and boom! thread lock!

This site is FAR from what i anticipated and if i tell anyone about it i am very careful to let them know that it is complete gamer mentality, by adults - with guns. If i werent from NYC or had a different career, OT would definitely have more of an intimidation factor.

i have met some very nice, generous people but these folks' usernames rarely occur in OT. I also respect Mr K - he and i have totally opposite views on some moral issues and we have had some words over it, but he has not let it affect the business of a public site (aka ban me for it).

OT is like driving in Los Angeles, it is a bloodsport

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  #8  
Old 12-24-2013, 12:32 AM
Asphodel Asphodel is offline
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The double standard is a rough one but i look at it like the $6 million man opening - it will make me better, stronger, faster for future threads! Man, they tried to insult me every which way on that one LoL. the frustrating part was a tiny bit of progress was occurring and boom! thread lock!

This site is FAR from what i anticipated and if i tell anyone about it i am very careful to let them know that it is complete gamer mentality, by adults. If i werent from NYC or had a different career, OT would definitely have more of an intimidation factor.

i have met some very nice, generous people but these folks' usernames rarely occur in OT. I also respect Mr K - he and i have totally opposite views on some moral issues and we have had some words over it, but he has not let it affect the business of a public site (aka ban me for it).

OT is like driving in Los Angeles, it is a bloodsport
Yes, OT is 'interesting'........just for amusement, check out the last posting I put on the 'rant' thread......I'd bet it will be deleted 'poof' when Mr K or one of the mods wakes up and reads it.......just like the one in which I 'dissected' the propaganda scam one of the men was running..........yes, I know, its a silly pastime. 'pressing their buttons'........... : )

edited....hmmm.....this might not be such a good idea.......I'd feel rather foolish if I woke up and found a burning cross in my front yard.... : )

cheers

Carla

Last edited by Asphodel; 12-24-2013 at 12:35 AM..
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  #9  
Old 12-24-2013, 12:42 AM
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carla, you do realize if this GLAAD issue keeps getting pushed that it is going to end up in the monthly homosexual newsletter and there's gonna be a ruckus! (lol this just evolved in my brain to your needing a complete set of gay advocate acronym flashcards for studying. better get 4 x 6 cards to fit all those letters!)

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  #10  
Old 12-24-2013, 2:25 AM
Asphodel Asphodel is offline
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Originally Posted by Chickshooter View Post
carla, you do realize if this GLAAD issue keeps getting pushed that it is going to end up in the monthly homosexual newsletter and there's gonna be a ruckus! (lol this just evolved in my brain to your needing a complete set of gay advocate acronym flashcards for studying. better get 4 x 6 cards to fit all those letters!)
well, in all fairness.........I could/should have thought of doing an internet search on GLAAD before I said anything in that thread........but, yeah, flash-cards might be better.....hmmmm.......how many gay advocate group acronyms are there likely to be, these days?

C
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  #11  
Old 12-24-2013, 8:34 AM
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that a hetero male has known about GLAAD for 2 years, well, I suspect that that person is greatly concerned about organizations that oppose his view point. those that support gay marriage do not necessarily feel the need to seek out all the supporting organizations. we are secure within ourselves enough to know what we "feel" is right and/or grounded in what we Believe w/o having to seek out every organization in an attempt to support our Belief. and therein lies part of the problem: most males complain that women "feel". it is a complaint often mentioned. we're not grounded in logic. however, logic does not always lead to good conclusions, especially when a member states she didn't know and another calls her a liar because of her political position because after all with that position she must know all and every organization that takes the same position.

Manolito/Bill, it doesn't have to make sense to you. and if we try to explain it, well, I'm betting it still wouldn't make sense or seem logical to you. suffice it to say I found calguns when I was researching to make a purchase some years ago. I've bought guns from two calgunners since then as well. I glean a lot of good info from here. but most people I know don't have the thick skin, time, and/or energy to be a part of the community. worst case scenario is that they'd think I'm crazy for doing it and it would destroy my credibility as one of the "good" gun owners. and I will also state that Carla's thread is just another example of why I will not recommend this website to anyone else. most people I know would not take well to being called a liar when they make a statement.

jeremiah, that is absolutely fascinating re the Y chromosome! perhaps this goes a long way in explaining the need for males to compensate by being bullies.

and in closing, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS and may each of you and yours enjoy this season of 'peace on earth' and 'goodwill towards men'.
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  #12  
Old 12-24-2013, 11:32 AM
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.but, yeah, flash-cards might be better.....hmmmm.......how many gay advocate group acronyms are there likely to be, these days?
C
wow, that would be interesting to know as they certainly seem to multiply like bunnies. in the interest of ecofriendliness just the US ones should suffice, but i still bet you would need a dolly (no action figure!) to transport them. remember to lift with your legs and not your back!

in other news...ive just discovered why men dont ask for directions - this is classic! http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/it...el-the-us-stat

Last edited by Off the Roster; 12-24-2013 at 8:53 PM.. Reason: what highlander51 said
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  #13  
Old 12-24-2013, 5:32 PM
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remember to life with your legs and not your back!
Lift? with your legs...

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Old 12-24-2013, 8:49 PM
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that a hetero male has known about GLAAD for 2 years, well, I suspect that that person is greatly concerned about organizations that oppose his view point. those that support gay marriage do not necessarily feel the need to seek out all the supporting organizations. we are secure within ourselves enough to know what we "feel" is right and/or grounded in what we Believe w/o having to seek out every organization in an attempt to support our Belief. and therein lies part of the problem: most males complain that women "feel". it is a complaint often mentioned. we're not grounded in logic. however, logic does not always lead to good conclusions, especially when a member states she didn't know and another calls her a liar because of her political position because after all with that position she must know all and every organization that takes the same position.

Manolito/Bill, it doesn't have to make sense to you. and if we try to explain it, well, I'm betting it still wouldn't make sense or seem logical to you. suffice it to say I found calguns when I was researching to make a purchase some years ago. I've bought guns from two calgunners since then as well. I glean a lot of good info from here. but most people I know don't have the thick skin, time, and/or energy to be a part of the community. worst case scenario is that they'd think I'm crazy for doing it and it would destroy my credibility as one of the "good" gun owners. and I will also state that Carla's thread is just another example of why I will not recommend this website to anyone else. most people I know would not take well to being called a liar when they make a statement.

jeremiah, that is absolutely fascinating re the Y chromosome! perhaps this goes a long way in explaining the need for males to compensate by being bullies.

and in closing, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS and may each of you and yours enjoy this season of 'peace on earth' and 'goodwill towards men'.
I have been thinking about Carla's original thread in the OT for a few days. First off, I am an overeducated biologist because I could never decide which field of biology I wanted to specialize in so I spent 20 years in college collecting graduate degrees. I can explain why, on average, their are difference between the behavior and thinking of men and women. I am also a highly self-reflective person and try to learn and improve as a person.

Movie Zombie has put words to some of my thoughts. Humans are emotional creatures. We also have a logical component. Yes, on average women tend to rely on their emotions more while men tend to rely on logic more, but both sexes use both components.

I finally figured out what bothered me about that thread. I did post one response in that thread and I wished now I would have followed a rule I try to follow of waiting a few hours before posting to allow my brain to engage first rather than let the first emotional response flow out. Many times what men think is logic is just their emotional response that they are going to stick to and defend at all costs because admitting one is wrong or changing an opinion is seen as a sign of weakness. To excuse this behavior, one just has to say the other person needs to just have a think skin and just take it.

Their are times when this strategy works and can allow one to survive.

The problem is, if Calguns is to be a place to attract more people, it really does need to be family friendly, even in the OT. I looked at many threads and realized many contained comments or were about things that when I was growing up were only talked about in the male locker room, the barber shop, or the bar. They were never talked about in polite company. No wonder many women do not feel comfortable in the OT.

I am a baby boomer and grew up in a different world. I do engage in male banter with my friends. My wife has girl's night out with her friends. When we are all together, and especially with kids around, we are more restrained out of mutual respect for everybody. We definitely have a wide range of political views but care about each other as humans. That is what is missing from Calguns.

Just say the wrong thing, ask the wrong question, have the wrong political position, and the dog pile is on.

Just because someone leaves themselves open to attack, does not mean it is okay to attack them. Really, we are already under attack by the anti's, we do not need further division among us.

That is my 2 cents for what it is worth.

For those who think I am just thinned skin, I have done my share of science debates defending my research and withstood personal attacks. It goes with the job. Now that I am a teacher, it is even worse with all the garbage I get from parents and administrators because little Johnny failed in spite of my best efforts. I have learned over the years that people are more important than things. Sometimes one needs to withhold an opinion to prevent hurting a friend. The problem is knowing when to do that and when you have to speak up. Personally, in my private life, I find it not worth losing a friend over a political dispute. Manolito/Bill, I believe that is what Movie zombie is trying to explain. In my life, I have come across way too many men though that would rather alienate everybody to prove they are right than to drop it and accept that someone has a different opinion and this does not make that person a second class citizen or a person worthy of scorn.
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Old 12-24-2013, 9:48 PM
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Really, we are already under attack by the anti's, we do not need further division among us.
Unfortunately many things that i have encountered on this site have given credence to the position of the "antis" (an adversarial term and not my favorite), and on several occasions the thought of "god, the fact that that person has a gun scares me" has crossed my mind. internet bravado and gun ownership do not make good bedfellows.

Even when people disagree there needs to be a "live and let live" atmosphere otherwise the person/group with no flexibility will loose a voice altogether once some time has passed. When offering "broken record" responses with no appreciable open mindedness, the need to consult this group regarding anything that affects them ceases to exist.

I am new to the world of shooting but have made great progress in a short period of time. if i didnt have perseverance, the ability to not take things personally, and the ability to function in a belligerent atmosphere, i would have left calguns after 3 weeks with the belief that gun owners had brought gun control upon themselves.

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Old 12-25-2013, 10:57 AM
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I am new to the world of shooting but have made great progress in a short period of time. if i didnt have perseverance, the ability to not take things personally, and the ability to function in a belligerent atmosphere, i would have left calguns after 3 weeks with the belief that gun owners had brought gun control upon themselves.
Some have.

In a few threads I have pointed out the other side of the story and have been flamed because it destroyed the political image being presented.

BTW, I left that thread because it was getting bad, but then went back a few days later when I saw your post. Thank you for your apology. I owe you one also, I was letting my emotions run away and I was baiting you. that is why I left after my post to you in that thread, it was going downhill and I did not need the ugliness in my brain. Most people would label me more towards the conservative end politically, but I guess I am still old school in that I can agree to disagree and still get along and still like people for reasons other than political beliefs.

You bring up a very good point, how are we, as gun supporters, supposed to grow our community, if we cannot be civil enough to make newcomers feel comfortable?

The teacher in the next room to me has never touched a gun in her life. She is 29 and married. Both her husband and her have been against guns for their entire lives and both grew up in southern CA. They now live in central CA and waterfowl hunting is common. She teaches physics and has had several students ask her about the physics of guns. She was asking my wife some questions as she also teaches chemistry and physics. My wife said talk to me. She had no idea I went shooting.

We talked and she asked me to take her out to the range. She commented that I seemed to be such a normal person and she would have never guessed I owned and shot guns. I blew away her stereotype. I then told her about the teachers that shoot also at the range I go to. We can make a range date. Just before break she told me she thinks this is so cool, the thought of shooting. Her husband still hates guns. She has decided though after shooting next month, she is sure she will want to buy her first handgun just because it will empower her for her own self-defense. She has two young daughters and realized that being 4 ft 11 in and 95 pounds, when she home alone with her daughters, the gun equalizes the field if the bad guys decide to show up.

She would definitely be turned off by the OT and is not interested in the legal issues at this time. This place would just reinforce her stereotype view of the average gun owner.

Just for complete disclosure, I grew up with a dad that physically abused my mom and us kids. She divorced him even though all the family on both sides said it was wrong. She remarried, the new husband only abused the kids.

So I grew up with men bullying those weaker than them. I do not put up with such men in real life. On the net, with the ability to hide behind a screen, too many men revert to this behavior IMVHO.
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Old 12-25-2013, 1:55 PM
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@Jeremiah12

I take the internet bullying here as i take bullying IRL, if you step up to the bully they generally cave. i am not looking to make people cave, that would be bullying unto itself, but, do i want to make people voice the reasoning behind their perspectives. in my tiny brain perspectives are backed by conviction and those "speaking out" without conviction have not bothered to think.

i learn all the time, perhaps i am wrong to apply this characteristic to others. being presented with new ideas, or even the same idea in a new way can indeed change a perspective of mine 180. changing a perspective can have a domino effect but it in no way diminishes the remainder of my unrelated beliefs in any way. do i disagree with the christian view on homosexuality and abortion - yup. do i hate christians - nope. this applies to any religion in the world as well.

you may have baited me, and applied the double standard of calguns BUT at least you provided reason - conviction - behind your words. your convictions had value in my eyes. as you felt the need to apologize, it is accepted, de nada. atm i obviously have too much free time at my disposal and i cannot afford to get sucked into the calguns pissing contest of a vocabulary as it may resurface in the real world at a most inopportune time. your conviction realigned me.

i try to have an open mind and see all sides to information that is presented. i learned long ago that several things in life prohibited this for me, the 2 big ones being political affiliation and religion. both those entities require too much of a blind eye for true independent thought so my lack of association allows me to hear people in an unbiased way and think for myself - a fact which seems to be completely incompatible with a large portion of society.

Before that brouhaha of a thread got locked, i did feel some progress that made everything worthwhile. when the yahoo article reflected my position it definitely gave at least one person cause for thought. this same individual then posed questions, seemingly bewildered, as though there were suddenly a concept that had never occurred to him to exist. another gentleman and i had started down the trail of role of religion in politics and its affect much to the chagrin to 2A. two very tiny nuggets in a sea of slop, but that is what panning for gold is all about....

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Old 12-26-2013, 8:34 AM
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......... On the net, with the ability to hide behind a screen, too many men revert to this behavior IMVHO.

I agree: a bully is a bully whether it is IRL or at the keyboard.
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Old 12-26-2013, 5:04 PM
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Yes, OT is 'interesting'........just for amusement, check out the last posting I put on the 'rant' thread......I'd bet it will be deleted 'poof' when Mr K or one of the mods wakes up and reads it.......just like the one in which I 'dissected' the propaganda scam one of the men was running..........yes, I know, its a silly pastime. 'pressing their buttons'........... : )

edited....hmmm.....this might not be such a good idea.......I'd feel rather foolish if I woke up and found a burning cross in my front yard.... : )

cheers

Carla

BAH!

Come on now. SERIOUSLY? Like ANYONE from OT has the attention span to even get to locating a cross to burn... They would rather be high or hate on cops or military. You have nothing to worry about.

BTW, that sucks that some asshats shot up the range like that. Perhaps you should get thicker/harder steel shields for that portion? There was a place over past Riverside called the Rock Pile and the guy that ran it told us all that the range was ours and we should treat it as our own. So, We took care of it usually, but there are always asshats out there that don't give a **** about anything. Those few are the ones that ruin it for the rest.

I would not mind helping at the range either but it is a 400 mile trip one way for me and well, not good for someone that is unemployed to make a drive like that just to clean up... :\


Move your range further south and maybe we can make it happen.

Anyways...

As for bullying folks here. Well, I will be honest, my attention span was too short to read through half of Jeremiah's posts but I have been viewed as a jerk (and prolly a bully too) quite often it seems. When Bumslie met me for the first time, he thought that I was going to be some crotchety old man that hated everything and everyone. He seemed shocked that I was (hopefully) the opposite in real life. When I met CGT80 and he invited me to his house to check out some lead, he made the comment later in the forum that he met me and I seem like a decent guy in real life...

SO, I think that here on the interwebs, my joking around in just about EVERY other post does not come off as joking around to others, but rather me just being mean or a jerk... Yes I am wildly sarcastic face to face and yes, I DO hate a lot of things, but here in the forums I NEVER knew that I just looked like a ***** instead of the joking funny guy that I THOUGHT I looked like... So now I tend to put a bit more and a few more as well as my :flickcig: and hopefully people do not think that I am as big a ***** as others might have before.

SO, just to recap folks, it could be possible that due to lack of sarcasm tags, the other posters MIGHT sometimes be joking, but because of where we are in life in our mentalities or emotional places, we might not see that and jump to assuming the worst...

And you are all jerks for doing that.

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Last edited by stilly; 12-26-2013 at 5:14 PM..
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:02 PM
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I've also noticed that in OT there is a bit of a dogpile and bandwagon thing going on. If someone makes a slip, everyone seems almost obligated to put in their $.02, whether or not it's already been said by someone else. The group carp-on-him attitude is off putting. I can also see that it's not going to change, so I might as well not fight it. Oh, no, I'm not going to just take it, but I'll use my own quiet ways to try not to get carped on. Much.

Stilly, I agree. Many times it seems like they might possibly be half joking, but then ..... If *I* were to try to make a funny and it falls flat, I at least try to make it right as soon as I can. I don't let it blow up and snowball. So maybe some are half sarcastic and half trolling. Just a little. Maybe.


BTW, the brazing is coming along nicely. Carla does a good job with a torch, though might be a little "muzzle happy" with the lit flame? I'm still checking my eyebrows; they feel a little crunchy. (joking!) I'll post pics of the finished equipment. It still needs grinding and final cleanup, and the (hopefully) aluminum target carrier needs some heliarc welding next.

FWIW: The backstop does have armor plate behind the targets. It's the target carrier and cable turnaround that got hit; those are made of mystery metal, and aren't very strong. It also makes them very hard to fix.
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Old 01-02-2014, 5:52 PM
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I think pretty much everyone who has been in and gotten out of the OT forum will agree, that is the Lord of the Flies, the Thunderdome forum on Calguns.

Of course, the posters in it would not understand that, but who cares if they do or do not...
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Old 01-02-2014, 7:28 PM
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I think pretty much everyone who has been in and gotten out of the OT forum will agree, that is the Lord of the Flies, the Thunderdome forum on Calguns.

Of course, the posters in it would not understand that, but who cares if they do or do not...
I have been reevaluating my participation in OT recently. The above describes it very well. As I recently told another, it can cause me to go to the dark places in my mind that I would rather not visit. So, I really need need to follow the Golden Rule my mom taught me so many years ago. If I cannot say something nice, then do not say anything at all. It can be hard when I come across a bullying situation or a know it all blow hard because IRL I do intervene in these situations.

Unfortunately, there are some who just like arguing and know what is right for everybody.
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Old 01-02-2014, 8:32 PM
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lord of the flies: yes! an appropriate description of OT!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-06-2014, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by jeremiah12 View Post
I have been reevaluating my participation in OT recently. The above describes it very well. As I recently told another, it can cause me to go to the dark places in my mind that I would rather not visit. So, I really need need to follow the Golden Rule my mom taught me so many years ago. If I cannot say something nice, then do not say anything at all. It can be hard when I come across a bullying situation or a know it all blow hard because IRL I do intervene in these situations.

Unfortunately, there are some who just like arguing and know what is right for everybody.
Hi, jerimiah,

Your comment about the 'dark places' in men's minds (and, yes, true enough, women can have 'dark places', as well) brought to mind one of the earliest experiences I can remember.........a rather graphic example of the so-called 'Jekyll/Hyde' characteristic inherent in many, if not all, men.

It is just a trivial incident, to be sure, but it had quite an affect on me, at the time........I was then a littly, 'toddler' stage, more or less, just old enough to be the real nuisance to watch which those can be (as in, 'no, dear, don't try to pick that up, its a rattlesnake')

On this particular morning, my mother needed to go into town for some reason, so Dear Father had to mind me.......and he didn't take kindly to having to be a child minder.

One of his pet projects, at the time, was re-grading some of the area around the house, to improve our road, and level out a bit more garden space.

He had a little D2 cat, and was quite skilled with using it, but, apparently, never got around to doing any maintenence on it. The electric starter for its pony (starting) engine didn't work, for whatever reason, so he would wind it with the starting-rope.

(for a visual perspective, here's a you-tube video of the process......note that this video is of a unit which is in a good state of maintenence, and starts as it should)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2Aej3ADUkE

So......Dear Father decided that he could mind me, and get some re-grading done, at the same time, by perching me on the tool-box of the cat, and putting a couple turns of light line around me so I couldn't fall off.

I got to watch as he tried to start the pony engine.........and tried, and tried some more.....and, as I watched, became a totally different person, red-faced, and loudly shouting words I'd never heard (which, of course, I later learned were rather exceedingly foul obscenities)

After a moment, he 'became himself' again, turned to me, and quite sheepishly apologised for his language.

I watched as the tinkered with the engine a bit, then tried to start it, winding the starting-rope and pulling, again and again.......and the engine did little 'pop' sounds from time to time, but didn't run.

Once again, back into 'Hyde mode', face turning red, and more shouted words I didn't understand, and once again, a sheepish apology a few minutes later.

Finally, after some more tinkering, the pony engine actually started and ran, probably on the 100th pull on the starting-rope (or thereabouts, it seemed like forever, at the time), with Dear Father red-faced and perspiring heavily, muttering various and sundry terms unknown to me........and, after a few more moments, very humbly apologising to me again, for his language......I was, of course, utterly mystified.

A few minutes more, he had the main engine running on Diesel, and I got to see Dear Father in a really good 'empowerment' mood, and was both mystified and somehow quite impressed as he re-shaped a hillside into the smooth, level area he had envisioned.

I was amazed and impressed with the work he had done, seeing all those yards of dirt moved as he had envisioned........but, oh, my, getting to see the dramatic 'Jekyll/Hyde' personality change as he cursed that machine is a memory still vivid to this day.

What has this memory to to with calguns OT, all these years later?........well, just a thought.......do discussions here bring out the same 'elements of character' in some men, as are brought out by an ill-maintained machine which won't start? (which brings up the obvious question.......has an ill-maintained mind a dramatic similarity to an ill-maintained machine, sometimes?)

(oh, and there is a 'punch line'...........you should have seen my mother's face when she got back from town, and Dear Father explained to her how he had me lashed down on the cat in such a way that I couldn't possibly fall off and be hurt.......so it was alright, he was taking care to be sure I would be safe, and he could get some work done whilst minding me. My mother was 'not amused'......to 'put it mildly'.)

cheers

Carla

Last edited by Asphodel; 01-06-2014 at 12:17 PM.. Reason: typos
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Old 01-06-2014, 4:08 PM
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Unfortunately, there are some who just like arguing and know what is right for everybody.
the boobies thread was a classic example of this sentiment. i think these guys are just so happy that they can have a one-sided (theirs) "conversation" that they actively work to ignore anything that should provide pause for thought.

jekyll & hyde for inanimate objects lol gotta laugh, but for human interaction - not so much.
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Old 01-08-2014, 6:53 PM
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Hi, jerimiah,

Your comment about the 'dark places' in men's minds (and, yes, true enough, women can have 'dark places', as well) brought to mind one of the earliest experiences I can remember.........a rather graphic example of the so-called 'Jekyll/Hyde' characteristic inherent in many, if not all, men.
The dark places in my mind were given to me by my very violent dad and even more violent step-dad. It took many a few years of therapy and many years of self-reflection to dig myself out of that place and get my life in order. If I am not careful, I can find myself slipping back there. I do not like that person I become when I go there.

I also know what you mean about the normal "Jekyll/Hyde" characteristic in men. Most do not want to admit it. I experience it also. I have reached the age where I can now admit I might be wrong. My mother, who was an RN said men tended to mellow with age and women tended to become more assertive with age, at least that was her experience.


Quote:
It is just a trivial incident, to be sure, but it had quite an affect on me, at the time........I was then a littly, 'toddler' stage, more or less, just old enough to be the real nuisance to watch which those can be (as in, 'no, dear, don't try to pick that up, its a rattlesnake')
I busted a gut reading your incident. I bet you had a blast riding on that D2 Cat. You probably were safe enough. Of course, if you were hurt your dad would not have survived.

Soon after my son was born, I would take him with me nearly everywhere. My wife was breastfeeding him and he was feeding every 2 to 3 hours and she was not getting much sleep. When I went somewhere, I would take him with me because he would sleep longer in the car or while moving in a shopping cart. I was remodeling our house, so I spent a lot of time at Home Depot. My mother-in-Law found out and called CPS because she was sure I was abusing him because only mothers know how to take care of babies and fathers should never be alone with them or have anything to do with them. The funny part, I was the oldest of 5, and most of that time my mother was a single working mom so I had to take care of my younger siblings. I changed diapers and did it all. My wife had no idea what to do with this blob that only ate, pooped, and cried. She was sure she was going to kill him. CPS came over and realized that my MIL was full of it.

I was doing research for my Ph.D in the summer and writing my dissertation in the winter. My wife was a teacher then. So one of us was at home with him. As much as I wanted to set him in front of the TV so I could write I also knew this part of his life would be over quickly, so I spent the time with him and wrote in the evening after he went to bed. Today he is a sophomore in college and it only seemed like yesterday he was crawling on the floor.


Quote:
What has this memory to to with calguns OT, all these years later?........well, just a thought.......do discussions here bring out the same 'elements of character' in some men, as are brought out by an ill-maintained machine which won't start? (which brings up the obvious question.......has an ill-maintained mind a dramatic similarity to an ill-maintained machine, sometimes?)
I agree, an ill-maintained mind is dramatically similar to an ill-maintained machine. Unfortunately, one can rebuild the machine and get it into working order again. The mind cannot be rebuilt so easily. The owner of the mind has to recognize his or her mind has been ill-maintained and something needs to be done about it. Testosterone poisoning makes it harder for men to accept that. Study after study has shown men, as a group, resist admitting they are wrong.

My second step-father, and the first time my mother selected a man who was not abusive, was the only person who ever acted like a father in my life. He was an auto mechanic and an auto body repair person and painter. He had dropped out of high school because of problems with the law and was given a choice to go to jail or join the army and go to Viet Nam when he was 17. He chose the second. He straightened his life out and took care of his family though he was not polished by any means. He taught me though to admit when I was wrong, to own up to it and apologize and make it right as best as I can. He taught me to never argue with someone who knows he is right because you will never convince that person he is wrong, even if you have the proof in front of him. You will just waste your time and get upset at the same time. Just walk away. Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut to keep a good friend than to insist you are right and loose a good friend. You will never find anyone that will agree with you 100%. Finally, it is okay to change your mind, it means you have learned.
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Old 01-08-2014, 7:14 PM
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He taught me to never argue with someone who knows he is right because you will never convince that person he is wrong, even if you have the proof in front of him. You will just waste your time and get upset at the same time.
aka trying to teach a pig to knit.
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Old 01-08-2014, 7:16 PM
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the boobies thread was a classic example of this sentiment. i think these guys are just so happy that they can have a one-sided (theirs) "conversation" that they actively work to ignore anything that should provide pause for thought.

jekyll & hyde for inanimate objects lol gotta laugh, but for human interaction - not so much.
Quite agreed. Either they grew up living a very sheltered life or they forgot what they experienced when they grew up. I was born in the early 1960's and raised in a conservative neighborhood. By the time I was 6 or so, all of us neighbor kids had seen each other's parts by playing doctor or watching each other pee. We were so busy playing we did not run into the house to use the bathroom, we went in the empty lot or behind a bush in someone's backyard. Because the streets were safe, parents were not outside watching us.

My mother grew up on a farm. She learned all about the birds and the bees by watching the farm animals. That was how most American kids learned about sex generations ago.

Chickshooter, I loved your story about your first "boyfriend" and after his using the bathroom your comment that this will not work out. When I decided to get my teaching credential, I substitute taught in elementary schools because it was much easier than high schools. I earned a reputation for dealing with Kindergarten and 1st grade well and soon was just working in those grades. This is par for the course with this age group. I would laugh it off. Other subs would get upset and start yelling.

Some of the men in OT are the same ones that will be extremely shocked when they learn their daughters leave the house in the outfit approved by dad but soon after change into the outfit they want to wear and that they know is not "dad-approved". I love these moments of truth.
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