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  #1  
Old 11-17-2017, 2:44 PM
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Default Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner?

Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams “Allahu akbar,” raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 21 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! And you’re insane if you think I’d ever be “carrying” a gun. What is a Glock 21 cal. 45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me and not my famiy? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we add more streetlights and grass to discourage such behavior?

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!





Republican’s Answer:

BANG!





Southerner’s Answer:

BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!

Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips or Federal hollow points?!”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”

Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a taxidermist!”
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  #2  
Old 11-17-2017, 3:01 PM
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Growing up in South Coastal Texas and Louisiana qualifies me for the latter except no daughters, just two sons.

Kyle
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  #3  
Old 11-17-2017, 3:08 PM
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I guess I'm somewhere between the Republican and the Democrat then.

I shoot the guy, but I'd also disgusted at the idea of carrying a Glock.
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  #4  
Old 11-17-2017, 3:51 PM
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Nice descriptions. I am not a Democrat.
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  #5  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:17 PM
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Then there is the Northern Gentleman, who wait's until the terrorist shows his intent by killing the gentleman's wife before he fires
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  #6  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:22 PM
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As a Tennessee boy who once got in trouble for hunting deer from inside the house and had a neighbor who named their kid "booger", I take issue.


That's not NEARLY enough shots, and no self respecting southerner would let his wife go out unarmed.
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When did I go from being a "citizen" to a "taxpayer"?

Jon Lovitz: ‘I can’t wait to go to a hospital run by the DMV!’

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Originally Posted by Kestryll View Post
Dude went full CNN...
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  #7  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:23 PM
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the republicans are the right arm and the democrats are the left arm of the same beast - wake up and smell what you're shoveling
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Old 11-17-2017, 4:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShotgunPreacher View Post
the republicans are the right arm and the democrats are the left arm of the same beast - wake up and smell what you're shoveling
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When did I go from being a "citizen" to a "taxpayer"?

Jon Lovitz: ‘I can’t wait to go to a hospital run by the DMV!’

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kestryll View Post
Dude went full CNN...
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  #9  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:34 PM
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So, what's the rest of the Democrat's answer after he gets stabbed?
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  #10  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsilenced View Post
I guess I'm somewhere between the Republican and the Democrat then.

I shoot the guy, but I'd also disgusted at the idea of carrying a Glock.
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  #11  
Old 11-17-2017, 4:55 PM
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I'm Southern.

Only differences are I have no son and my daughter would have been comparing her grouping to my grouping.
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  #12  
Old 11-17-2017, 5:01 PM
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Southerner only had 10 in the mag, G21 holds 13.
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  #13  
Old 11-17-2017, 6:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njineermike View Post
As a Tennessee boy who once got in trouble for hunting deer from inside the house and had a neighbor who named their kid "booger", I take issue.


That's not NEARLY enough shots, and no self respecting southerner would let his wife go out unarmed.
Yeap
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Call him run-like-hell-when-shtf-guy or dial-911-guy but NEVER call an unarmed man "Security".
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  #14  
Old 11-17-2017, 6:46 PM
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whyd he reload after only 11 shots... should be 14 followed by 13 more....
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  #15  
Old 11-17-2017, 8:47 PM
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Or he can simply do a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozambique_Drill and be on his way......
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  #16  
Old 11-18-2017, 10:30 AM
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I guess I'm from the south.
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  #17  
Old 11-18-2017, 11:16 AM
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Never been to any southern states.........but , I guess I'm a Southerner.
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