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Ladies Forum A place for our female Calgunners to discuss, share and interact without the 'excess attention' sometimes found in online forums.

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  #1  
Old 10-10-2012, 11:37 AM
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Question Ladies, would you look down on a man who...

decides to stay and live at home with his parents? Allow me to clarify, this person who Graduated from College and has his career or didn't go to college but makes decent money chooses to live at home so his father can retire and live at home and do whatever old people do. The son now pays for the remainder of the mortgage and all the other bills. In my opinion his parents live with him, not the other way around.

Would you look down on him?

Would you think he should move out?

Do you think this person is weird for wanting to let his parents live an easier life, while the son takes care of the responsibilities?
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Old 10-10-2012, 11:51 AM
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This has what to do with firearms again?
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Old 10-10-2012, 11:59 AM
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This has what to do with firearms again?
Lol...
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  #4  
Old 10-10-2012, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTauron View Post
This has what to do with firearms again?
everything!
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Originally Posted by 2761377 View Post
man's greatest accomplishments have been achieved in the face of futility.
it's a piss poor excuse to quit.
PSN name= entwie_dumayla
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Old 10-10-2012, 1:54 PM
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(I think the OP is asking his question here in the Women's Forum because it's a place where smart women hang out, and talk about other things than guns sometimes....)

Turn the question around. What if a dad moved into his son's house, so the dad could retire? I'd respect that. People should be willing to help out elderly parents.

The problem is not what you did. The problem is the "where". We all know that moving into a parent's house is a red flag these days.

However, it could prove to be an interesting dating test for you. If you tell the story to a potential date and she/he blows you off, you're ahead, because they would never be nice to your dad anyway.
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Old 10-10-2012, 2:14 PM
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I laughed because from the OP's profile, I wasn't sure if this was a sincere question or another one of those stupid posts to get us crazy.
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Old 10-11-2012, 1:03 PM
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When I first read this - I remembered the movie "Failure to Launch". Loved that movie. Back to the subject....no I would not look down on him for taking care of his parents, allowing them to retire and taking care of bills and everything else that goes with day to day living. He is allowing them to relax and enjoy the years they have left. I would also assume, he has a special bond with his parents. Nothing wrong with that.

I would object if he had no job but was capable of getting one and just lived off his parents but apparently, that isn't the case. I actually applaud him for making his parents life easier. He will also have some wonderful memories once they are no longer here.

I know that part....my mother lived with me her last 4 years after a stroke. I hope, I was able to let her enjoy those last 4 years. She never missed church, church dinners, church charity drives, being at girl's poker night (her friends) or many other things that I made sure she got to attend. She never missed one thing she wanted to do. Actually, she had a much better social life than me. Those 4 years were hard and wonderful at the same time. Great memories. BTW - I miss you Mom!!!!!! Crap, now I caused myself to cry - I am out of here!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by vision1214; 10-11-2012 at 1:08 PM..
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Old 10-13-2012, 4:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bob7122 View Post
decides to stay and live at home with his parents? Allow me to clarify, this person who Graduated from College and has his career or didn't go to college but makes decent money chooses to live at home so his father can retire and live at home and do whatever old people do. The son now pays for the remainder of the mortgage and all the other bills. In my opinion his parents live with him, not the other way around.

Would you look down on him?

Would you think he should move out?

Do you think this person is weird for wanting to let his parents live an easier life, while the son takes care of the responsibilities?
Is this something the parents want? Do they benefit from it? Is there a healthy relationship with respect on both sides? A lot to consider there.

Someone that I love dearly who died recently moved in with his parents when they were both diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He gave up the business he own, and basically his entire life, to care for them night and day for the 5 years they lived. It also ruined his health. I don't think anyone could look down on someone like that.
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Old 10-15-2012, 8:02 PM
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Everyone has their own reasons/logic for making certain choices in their life and until we have lived a few days in their shoes or having actually talked to the person about why they made that choice judging someone so half hazardously is only a reflection on ourselves.

The way this scenario is presented he sounds like a very caring son trying to give back to his parents. In many cultures parents often live with their children or the children often live with their parents until marriage. If I could give back to my parents the same way as this person has I would do it in a heart beat.
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bob7122 View Post
decides to stay and live at home with his parents? Allow me to clarify, this person who Graduated from College and has his career or didn't go to college but makes decent money chooses to live at home so his father can retire and live at home and do whatever old people do. The son now pays for the remainder of the mortgage and all the other bills. In my opinion his parents live with him, not the other way around.

Would you look down on him?

Would you think he should move out?

Do you think this person is weird for wanting to let his parents live an easier life, while the son takes care of the responsibilities?
No, why would I? I have plenty of friends and associates who are doing this.

Example, a friend of my brothers was a damn awesome Marine, he came back stateside, found a great job working for a company, turns out his boss was swindling the company, it burned down in flames basically. Make things worse, his wife was cheating on him while he was gone, and still was though he was back. He found out because he came home early because of his job problem, and caught her in the act. Guy who was there was begging him not to kill him, he just took his kif bag, filled it with his clothes, put in his truck, took dolly, moved his safe, and the guy banging his wife even helped him slide it into his truck bed, they put his snap on box on there. The guy kept apologizing, said she said she was divorced, friend shrugged it off, drove off.

Moved in with his mom who was a recent widow, and he was unemployeed for 5 months, nowhere was hiring. He took a medical billing class to fill the time, and then did coding. Anyways, he landed a great job at a hospital, made fairly good money, and began paying the rest of the house off.

People around the neighborhood never thought anything of it, cause he grew up there, his mom talks and everyone knew what happened, but random people? Would think it was weird he moved back home. Lives with his mother.

Anyways, he saved enough, sent his mom on holiday over around europe, she met a man who was there with his daughter to get him out and enjoying life again because he lost his wife too. His step daughter promoted their relationship, and soon enough they ended up getting married. Great no? Well the son, couldn't get decent dates, because folks kept saying it was weird he lived in his parents home, though his mom did move lol.

She left him the house. Anyways a few months would pass by, after a few botched dates, he gave up, and just resigned himself to working. By this time he had sold all the fire arms he had, and started over, he didn't want anything from his past life, he thought it bad luck or something. All he had was an M&P9 Pro and Compact. He was debating what else to get, he headed to the range with my oldest brother, and my husband, and they had a kind of boys night out.

After trying some stuff, and getting into the groove of things, he started to proceed to reacquire decent kit and proper fire arms again, he wanted to run and gun again lol.

He got an 870 woody and a 870 Extac, they would go shoot occasionally. As the house was his he began clearing out the garage, his old mans sitting and cracky tired pair of cars that just sat, a 68 Pickup and Camaro lol. He moved all the old boxes and magazines and newspapers into a rented dumpster, and pushed the cars out, using a blower he cleared the dust as well. Not bad for some decent work. Then the fuzz came

Turns out when he pushed the cars out, they leaked fluid, that ran into the street, that he didn't see because he was behind them cleaning. He was cited, and the officer said she'd never seen someone so reckless and messy, and he hurried to clean everything up.

As time would fly he decided to go for his nursing, and he did. Alone in that house, and as nicely mancaved as it had become, he was still lonely, but what could he do? He tried eharmony, he tried blind dates, nothing clicked.

Time would pass, the garage would fall apart due to termites lol. And he would replace it with 2 storage containers welded at the middle, the walling in the center cut out and made into canopies. 3 or so years had passed, he was wrapping up his education iirc, and he was washing his drive way when a squad car stopped in response to a call, due to loud music, he turned it down, and realized it was the same officer from a few years earlier, she commented how he's changed the house a lot, and it looked great, a little steampunk but she loved it.

He told her to stop by the following weekend, he was having a house warming party.

Longer story short, they became an item, and are married now. I don't think its a bad thing to move back home, many people do it. Some folks fall on really hard times, some need to take care of family, some need to start over. Its not a big deal.

If anyone looks down on such, they might be a bit to ignorant to the situation of others I guess.
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